Naruto, Sasuke, and a Squirrel? WHAT THE?
by DemonClowSorceress
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke's lives and relationship change forever when they find a little surprise in the forest. SasuNaru and other pairs as well as some OCC moments and random crack.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: A Walk to Remember

By: DemonClowSorceress and Red

**Disclaimer: No matter how kickass it would be to own _Naruto_, we do not. If we did, Itachi would be alive, and Sasuke and Naruto would be doing - **

**Red: DAMMIT, NO~! *holds up sign* ITACHI X NARUTO, DAMMIT!**

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon in the forest outside Konoha. The sun was shining, the birds were singing in the season of Spring.......and the two boys walking side by side were trying very hard not to act like total morons and embarrass themselves.

Naruto sneaked a glance over at Sasuke. The black-haired Uchiha was staring off to the side like he was bored. The blond bit his lip, worried. _Maybe he's really bored? Maybe I shouldn't have asked him out here. I bet he'd like to be training or something......anything.....oh man, this was not a good idea..... _He rubbed the bridge of his nose. _But those guys were getting really annoying! I mean, it's not like......like we've actually done anything since we.....we said that we lo - ...... _He blushed red as a boiled tako. _Dammit, I still can't say it! And HE confessed to ME!_

Sasuke saw him having a silent panic fit and wondered what the hell he was freaking out about this time. _What could that dobe be panicking about now? _An answer came floating up from the darker reaches of his mind. _Wait......what if he's having second thoughts? What if he's switching teams? SHIT! _

Now in the midst of his own panic fit, Sasuke turned to ask Naruto, but stopped, his mouth half-open. _But if I ask him, he'll never give me a straight answer. He'll fudge about it and try not to hurt my feelings. He's just so......so......**Naruto**.....like that. He drives me crazy, but...... _A small smile crept across his face. _But - _

"ZOMFG SASUKE!"

He reacted instantly to draw a kunai and look around for an enemy. Sensing none and realizing Naruto was staring at him, he straightened and sheathed his weapon. Then he smacked the blond upside the head. "Dobe! The hell you do that for?" he snapped.

"OW, Sasuke~" whined Naruto, rubbing his head with a pouty face. Then he remembered why he had shouted and leveled a finger directly at Sasuke's face. "Oh yeah! Sasuke, you were just smiling!"

The black-haired boy blinked, uncomprehending. "So?"

"Whaddaya mean, 'So'? You never smile!" Naruto's eyes glowed with sparkles of cuteness. "You looked......you looked....."

Sasuke lost his patience. "Spit it out!"

So he did. "You looked really **HOTT**!!" And of course, being Naruto, he said it when there was a lull in the forest noises around them. The declaration actually echoed a few times before completely fading, leaving Sasuke faintly blushing as Naruto's eyes went anime-big and shiny. Sasuke had to turn away, hand over his mouth and nose, willing himself not to erupt into a nosebleed at the kawaii of the blond -

And something hit the back of his spiky black head like a shot from a high-powered paintball gun at close range. Reflexively he spun and clonked the closest culprit.

For the second time in as many minutes Naruto felt his best friend's (he still couldn't equate _Sasuke_ with _boyfriend_) fist connecting with his skull. "The hell was that for?" he yelled, foregoing the cutesy approach. It only worked a few times in a row, anyway.

"Don't hit me in the back of the head like that, idiot!" Sasuke snapped, rubbing his sore crown. "That hurt!"

"I didn't touch you!"

"Don't lie!"

"I'm not! For once, Sasuke, you're wrong and I'm right!"

"Does that make you happy?"

"......Yes."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and began walking down the path. "I'm heading back. Let's go."

He got five paces when another projectile left a lump on his head. He whirled around, but Naruto's hands were up in defense. "It wasn't me! I swear to - to - to the Ramen Gods!"

"There are no such gods, stupid!" Sasuke yelled back.

"I swear on my mom's - "

"You don't even know your mom!"

"......" The happy blond paused, hands dropping. "I know," he said in a trembly voice, and sank to a ball on the ground. Instant depression.

_Oh damn, I made him depressed. Now I feel lousy. _Sasuke went over to his side and knelt down. "Naruto....I'm sorry."

"Sure ya are," murmured Naruto, not looking at him.

"Really, I am."

"That's what they all say."

Blink, blink. "What?"

The blond shook his head. "Never mind."

Sasuke gave his depressed boyfriend a hug. "Hey, I said I was sorry. And I meant it. Okay?"

Naruto leaned into the hug, not saying anything. It was a cute scene........until two sharp objects hit each boy on the back of the head.

Both boys broke apart and drew their weapons, looking around for the culprit. Naruto pointed to the trees. "It came from up there!" he cried. But a projectile hit him on the other side. Fast as lightning his finger pointed in the opposite direction. "No, from there!" Another one hit from the opposite side, back and forth, until his head was lumpy with welts and he was panting from yelling so much.

Sasuke activated his Sharingan and scanned the surrounding foliage. A small discrepency made him blink and focus on it. "There. It's small and brown. But....what is it?" He frowned and scratched his head, then snapped his fingers. "Oi, I got it! It's an Onbaa!"

"Those are big and white, baka!" yelled Naruto. (See episode 185 for details)

Now, Sasuke didn't like anyone calling him stupid, not even his kawaii boyfriend. So he blew his top. "Then you come up with an idea, baka kitsune!"

"It's a Shinigami!" stated Naruto proudly, putting his hands on his hips.

Sasuke gaped. _WTF? Is he serious? _"What the - wh, wh, wha - NO!"

Naruto looked wounded, but came right back with, "A Soul Reaper!"

"No! FAIL!"

"Than YOU come up with something, temee!"

Put on the spotlight, Sasuke fumbled around for another idea as to what the mystery creature could be when he heard a branch snap. There was a piercing shriek, and the creature fell. Both boys reacted immediately to catch it, but they collided midway and fell in a tangle of arms and legs, Sasuke on the bottom and Naruto on top.

Naruto spoke first, and he sounded strange. "Sasuke....."

At first he thought the blond was injured; he sounded a little dazed. Twisting out from under him, Sasuke looked over Naruto's shoulder and asked, "What? What is it?"

"Look." So he did.

Nestled in Naruto's arms was a small, quivering mass of dark brown fur about a foot long. Two long ears swiveled to catch every bit of sound, while a tail lashed around like a crazy fuzzy whip. The creature's face was hidden, however, in the crook of Naruto's elbow.

"What is it?" whispered Sasuke.

Naruto stated the obvious, as he tended to do when he was shocked. "It's a quivering ball of brown fur with long ears and a tail."

"No shit, idiot."

The animal suddenly flopped over on its back, revealing its face. Naruto's eyes bugged out as Sasuke's jaw dropped onto the blond's shoulder.

Naruto spoke first. "It's a ... It's a squirrel-boy."

"It's a boy in a squirrel suit," corrected Sasuke.

They stared at the little boy, who stared back with big blue eyes. Nobody said a word, and then the little guy opened his mouth. "Chi."

"KAWAIIIIII!" screamed Naruto, going into full-blown adorable smile and sparkly eyes over the cuteness in his arms. Sasuke slapped a hand over his nose to prevent exposure of his nosebleed. "OMG Sasuke, he's SOOOOOO CUUUUUUTE!"

"Adorable," came the black-haired boy's muffled agreement.

HAHAHAHA! Sasuke's such a perv, huh?

Review this and Stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Fox + Wolf = Squirrel?

By DemonClowSorceress and Red

**Disclaimer: WE do not own _Naruto._ But we can dream.**

**Red: *still holds up ITACHI X NARUTO sign***

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"So Sasuke, can we keep him?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. This was the fifth time he'd been asked in the last two minutes. Again he gave his answer. "No, you can't. You can't even take care of yourself, Naruto."

"That's not true!" pouted the blond boy, widening his eyes in a classic begging look.

"Those don't work on me," snapped Sasuke.

A sly smile crept across Naruto's face. "That's not what you said last night....." Which of course made Sasuke blush red as a stop sign.

Their attention was again brought to the small bundle of fur cuddled in Naruto's arms. He - they had checked the child's gender and determined it to be a boy - was staring up at them with wide blue eyes, sucking his chubby index finger. The child seemed to be less than a year old but older than a few months. He gave a wet grin around his finger and said very clearly, "Chi."

Naruto's voice hit girlish levels in his squeal. "OMG Sasuke, he's soo cute! Can't we keep him?"

"What is this 'we' stuff?" Sasuke had to be the voice of reason and ignore the very large portion of himself that was begging to take both males and hug them to bits. "We can't raise a kid, are you kidding? You're the Nine-Tail Demon Fox boy, I'm an Uchiha-turned-traitor with a traitorous older brother in Akatsuki, which, if you remember, is the organization out to get you and Gaara and all the other Tailed Beasts containers. Not to mention you and me aren't exactly the poster children of wholesome families."

"So?" Naruto smiled at the child. "I wonder why he's wearing a squirrel suit. Isn't it hot in there, little guy?" And he reached to pull off the hoodie covering the kid's head.

The child flipped onto his stomach, stretched his arms and legs, and literally _scurried_ up Naruto's arm and onto the opposite shoulder. Sasuke watched in surprise as the ears on the hood actually _twitched and moved on their own_, like actual ears. The child's tail lashed like a puppy's as his bright eyes watched Naruto's frozen fingers. "Chi," he said again, blinking once.

"That's different," remarked Sasuke. He got a little closer to the boy, examining him closely with his Sharingan. "His chakra's like an animal's, not controlled at all. And as far as I can tell, that suit's staying on."

"Hiro-chan!" Naruto suddenly announced, startling both Sasuke and the squirrel-child. "That's his name!"

The black-haired Uchiha gave him a confused look. "The hell?"

"Hiro means 'a light on the road', and we found him on this road!" Naruto sounded very pleased at his reasoning.

"For one, this is a forest path. Two, we found him in a tree. Three, don't name him. Then you'll get attached to him." Sasuke slapped his face with his hand, exasperated. "Four, we're not even keeping him."

Suddenly there was a stubborn spark in Naruto's blue eye. Sasuke felt his stomach clench for two different reasons. One, because it made the blond look really damn cute. Two, because he realized that Naruto wouldn't let go of the kid.

The kid in question poked Naruto's cheek. "Chi." The stubborn light became a warmer glow that lit up his face. Sasuke frowned; that was supposed to be his job. He hated to admit it, but he was jealous of the squirrel-child.

So he said it. "Just leave it here."

"CHI!"

And something thwacked him on the head with the force of a falling fifty-pound anvil. Sasuke went down.

Naruto gasped. From frickin' nowhere a horse-sized acorn poofed above Sasuke's head and fell, knocking him down and effectively pinning him to the ground. The kid - Hiro - scurried down Naruto's arm and leg, hit the ground, and trotted over on hands and feet to sit at Sasuke's head. "Chi," he said again, raising a hand.

From nowhere a head-sized acorn materialized and fell into his hand. Hiro proceeded to whack Sasuke with his nut (haha) like he was hammering a nail.

Meanwhile Naruto was close to wetting his pants, he was laughing so hard at the picture in front of him. Dropping to his knees, hands pressed against his stomach, he laughed until tears streamed from his eyes. "Oh my gawd, you should see the look on your face!" he yelled between gasps. "You look like a bug that got squashed by an acorn!"

"Shut up and help me up!" snapped Sasuke, shaking his head to try avoiding Hiro's bashing.

**************

Obviously the sight of another person with Sasuke and Naruto, especially a small baby-like child, made people look twice. Three times. Some even stared for a couple minutes.

The Konoha Twelve heard about the arrival through gossip channels and were lying in wait when Sasuke and Naruto reached the crossroads before they seperated for their homes. Being as focused as they were on Hiro, the two boys never saw, heard, or sensed Kiba coming until an arm snaked around their shoulders and his head thrust between theirs, screaming, "Holy cow, you guys really did it! Congrats!"

"Which of you's the mom?" asked Neji with a smirk, coming up with the second wave. Seeing the way Naruto held Hiro he chuckled, "Never mind. I figured it out."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny," he said sarcastically. "Having fun you guys?"

"So much fun, it's actually ridiculous," admitted Kiba. And then he got a good look at Hiro. "Whoa, wait. It's a squirrel."

"He's a squirrel-_boy_," corrected Naruto. "And his name is Hiro-chan. Problems with it?"

All the Konoha Twelve cocked their heads as the following equation ran through their heads in a series of pictures:

Fox (Naruto) + Wolf (Sasuke) = Squirrel (Hiro) ???????????

The girls crowded around because, hey, girls like cute things. It's like a rule or something. "AWW!" crooned Sakura, stroking Hiro's cheek. "He's soo cute!"

"I just want to take him home!" squealed Ino. "So adorable!"

"Wonder who his real parents are," murmured Tenten.

"So, who keeps him overnight?" asked Hinata, bringing Naruto and Sasuke back into the conversation.

The blond looked to the black. And vice versa. "Um....." they said in unison.

Shino stepped forward. "You two aren't going to switch him off every night, are you? That's not condusive to a healthy upbringing."

"The boy shouldn't be at Naruto's house," insisted Sakura. "I've heard noises in those garbage piles that I'm not entirely sure about. Some mutant thing could eat Hiro or something."

"Hey!" Naruto said in an offended tone.

Sasuke sighed. "For your information, we'll raise Hiro at my house. It's bigger and that way you can all visit without fear of being attacked by garbage-lurking monsters."

Which made everyone present heave a mental sigh of relief. You couldn't be sure at Naruto's house. There were some things better left undiscovered.

When Sasuke let Naruto and Hiro into his house, the first thing Hiro did when the door shut was bolt down Naruto's arm and crawl up the wall like a spider. Both Sasuke and Naruto's jaws dropped in shock as Hiro made his way up the wall and nestled in the corner of ceiling and wall, back to the corner, staring down at his fathers. "Chi!" he exclaimed happily.

"You think that's the only word he knows?" Naruto asked when his jaw reconnected.

Sasuke shrugged. "What intrigues me more is that he's a squirrel, but that was a really ninja move he did. Kid has potential."

Naruto giggled. "He's cute, isn't he?"

"Yeah." _But you're cute too, you idiot. _Sasuke sighed. "Well, I guess we're keeping him then."

Suddenly his vision was full of big sparkly blue eyes and spiky blond hair as he was tackle-glomped. "Are you serious?! REALLY?!" squealed Naruto, his arms wrapped around Sasuke's neck. "We can keep him?!"

The overwhelming cuteness in front of him made Sasuke's face blush beet red. "Y-Y-Yeah," he stammered out. "Why not?"

"YAY!" crowed Naruto. "Hear that, Hiro-chan? You can stay with us!" Caught up in the moment, he placed a big kiss on Sasuke's cheek, then let go and jumped up to catch Hiro and spin the small child around. Hiro squealed happily as he spun around and around.

Sasuke grinned, touching his cheek. "Okay then," he said, watching the two happy boys.

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A.N. - Review please! The next few chapters will be awesome!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Musical (chairs) Hiro-chan!**

**Disclaimer: _Naruto_ does not belong to us. Dammit.**

**Red: Would that not be AWESOME?!!**

**DemonClowSorceress: *sweatdrop***

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BANG! CRASH! WHOMP!

Sasuke rolled his eyes, key poised to unlock his front door. _Either there's a very big animal loose in there, or Naruto's trying to catch Hiro for a bath. _Unlocking the front door, he yelled inside, "Hiro! Go with Papa and take a bath! Then you can play!"

Silence. Then came Hiro's "Chi!" of agreement, followed by Naruto's sigh of relief. The Uchiha rolled his eyes again and smirked. _Dobe. Gotta know how to work the kid._

The damage to his living room was minimal this time; only four lamps had broken and the couch was flipped over on the coffee table. Not to mention the lack of food smeared into the carpet; the two fathers had learned early on that pouncing bathtime on Hiro during dinner was not smart.

For only having the kid about two weeks, Sasuke thought they were learning this parenthood thing at a reasonable rate.

He put away groceries and fixed up his war zone living room, then relaxed while hearing Naruto wrestle the unwilling squirrel into the bathtub. Sasuke chuckled; it sounded difficult. He knew Naruto would come out dripping wet while Hiro was fluffed and dried, since the blond doted on him. Truth be told, Naruto was a true mother down to his bones. Maybe because he'd never known his own, he was doing what he believed every mother should do with her child.

"Tou-chan*, can you come help?" called Naruto, sounding desperate. "How about you scrub his ears?"

"How about no?" replied Sasuke. "We agreed, you'd bathe Hiro. You practically ordered me not to help you."

"But now that he's gotten so big....."

Which, Sasuke realized, was true. When they'd found Hiro, he'd been a comfortable one-foot-tall baby, minus the extra fourteen-inch-tail. But after two weeks, he'd grown one and a half feet. There were growth spurts, but this wasn't normal.

Then again, he and Naruto as parents wasn't normal either. Go figure.

After fifteen minutes the familiar brown whirlwind that was Hiro barrelled into the living room and shot straight for his Tou-chan's arms. Sasuke hugged the little guy as Naruto went to dry off, dripping water like a kappa. "Hey Hiro. How are you today?"

"Chi, chi-chi-chi," chirped Hiro with a smile, tugging on Sasuke's sleeve. "Chi!"

"Is that the only word he knows?" came Naruto's voice from the bedroom.

"It's the only one he's saying." Sasuke held up Hiro. "Do you know any other words?" He tilted his head around. "Anything? Hello? Food? Papa? Tou-chan?"

Hiro opened his mouth, but nothing came out. So he nodded.

"You know other words?" Another nod. "Can you say them?" A shake this time, no. "Oh. Too bad."

A knock came to the door. "Anyone home?" called Sakura.

"Yeah, come in." She did and looked like hell. Her pink hair was frazzled and sticking every which way, and her outfit was wrinkled, like she'd slept in it. "Whoa, what happened to you?" asked Sasuke, pulling Hiro off his chest and settling him into his lap.

"Trust me, not in front of Hiro-chan." The honorific had stuck, even though Sasuke never used it. Sakura collapsed on the newly righted sofa, breathing heavily. "God, I'm so tired. Must be nice, having personal time off to help Hiro-chan adapt to life in Konohagakure. You too," she added when Naruto entered the room, dry and in a new black-and-orange jumpsuit. "The rest of us are getting hammered with lame-o C-rank missions, one after another. No breaks at all. I don't think Ino's brushed her hair in days. She looks worse then me."

"Sorry," said Naruto. Taking a seat on the floor beside Sasuke, he reached up and let Hiro run along his arm and stretch across his shoulders like a cat. "It shouldn't take too much longer. He's already toilet-trained and we've gotten him eating with chopsticks. Maybe a few more days and he'll be able to take care of himself."

"Chi," said Hiro.

Sakura leaned forward. "Is that the only word he knows?"

"No, but he can't say any others. It's like speaker's block, or something." Naruto rubbed the boy's head. "But don't worry, he'll figure something out. Won't you, Hiro-chan?"

"Chi!"

********

And so began the ongoing trial to teach Hiro how to talk. They started at the beginning; scrounging up some of his old picture books, Sasuke worked with the child on relating words with images. Naruto took over to teach him the alphabet and little words. Hiro was a quick learner, to the astonishment of both boys. By day four he was writing simple sentances.

But still no other word but "Chi," came out of his mouth.

Another week passed by, and Naruto was walking up to the Hokage's office, Hiro sitting on his shoulders, grabbing handfuls of his Papa's blond hair. He'd had another growth spurt - another two inches. Not to mention his ears had grown a little longer and his tail was furrier.

Tsunade looked up from her paperwork. "Ah, Naruto. And Hiro-chan, I presume?"

"Hiro-chan, this is Old Lady Tsunade," said Naruto, pointing to her. "She's a lot older than she looks, trust me. Say hi."

"Chi," said Hiro, waving.

"So, Old Lady, you called?"

She tore her eyes away from the fuzzy cuteness. Which was very hard for her. "Oh, yes. I have an A-rank mission that requires yours and Sasuke's particular talents and expertise. You have to get right on it."

Naruto looked up at Hiro, then back at Tsunade. "Um, we're still on personal leave time. Hiro-chan hasn't - "

"I'm sorry, but Konoha's safety trumps Hiro's adaptation," she replied gently. "Trust me, if someone else could do this, I'd assign someone else. But the rest of the Konoha Twelve are dead-tired, and I can't spare any jonin on this. You understand."

"Yeah." Konoha had become short-handed on ninja after Orochimaru's latest attack on Konohagakure. Rebuilding the village had progressed to where it was almost as it was, but the battle had taken its toll on the ninjas. Naruto nodded. "Okay. I'll tell Sasuke. We'll be here tomorrow bright and early to get our orders and start out. Where are we going?"

"Iwa - Stone Country."

"That sounds dangerous. And somewhat risky in that we're not even friends with Iwa."

"Which is why I'm sending you and Sasuke. The two of you have a gift for, shall we say, making friends in dangerous situations."

Hiro crawled down Naruto's face, blocking him from Tsunade. "Chi, chi-chi, chi!" chattered the squirrel-boy, shaking a finger at the Hokage. "Chi-chi-chi-chi, chiii!"

"What's he saying?" Tsunade asked, curious. The kid seemed upset at something; _did he understand what we just said?_ she wondered.

"We're not sure. We've tried teaching him how to speak - that's why we're on leave," said Naruto, pulling Hiro off his face like a giant furry Band-Aid. "But all he says is 'Chi'. And he still isn't the greatest around people, and strangers creep him out, and we're still trying to get him to eat something other than nuts and grain, so - Hiro-chan, no!"

"Chi!" yelled Hiro, pointing to Tsunade.

A giant nut the size of Tsunade's chair crashed on top of her desk, breaking the sturdy wood in two. If Tsunade hadn't reacted as she had (shoving her chair back as Naruto said 'no') she could have been crushed. Her eyes widened in shock. The nut had _appeared from out of nowhere._ For an explaination she turned to Naruto.

"Um, yeah," he flustered, holding Hiro like a puppy. "About that.......Hiro-chan summons acorns whenever he's stressed out or scared or angry. We're trying to wean him from that impulse, but we need more time. A lot more time."

_So he did understand, at least that his fathers are leaving,_ Tsunade thought. _Intelligent little cutie._

*********

Sasuke found the entire thing very funny. He couldn't stop laughing.

"It's not funny! Hiro-chan could have hurt her!" Naruto snapped, smiling despite the fact. He shook a finger at Hiro. "Bad Hiro-chan! You cannot squash the Old Lady until I become Hokage! Got it?"

"Chi," said Hiro, looking very ashamed.

Sasuke stopped laughing long enough to pet the kid. "Relax, Hiro. I know for a fact that he's played better pranks on people than simply dropping heavy objects," he said, pointing to Naruto.

"Tou-chan! We're supposed to be disciplining Hiro-chan!" admonished Naruto.

Sasuke smirked, supporting his head in one hand, elbow on the table. "Yes, dear."

The next morning, Hiro accompanied his two parents to the Hokage's office. Tsunade saw him and quickly had Tonton go make friends. Soon the boy was riding the pig around like a furry brown knight while Naruto, Sasuke, and the Hokage talked business.

"I dunno if leaving Hiro at this time would be a smart idea," said the black-haired genius. "He still hasn't gotten used to life among people."

"Nevertheless, you two are the only ones qualified to take this mission who are not maimed, dead, or tired as hell," replied the fifty-year-young woman. "You have to go. It's a window of opportunity that will not happen again."

"And what about Hiro-chan? Who will take care of him?" asked Naruto, pouting. "You, Old Lady? Shizune? Who?"

Fortunately Tsunade had an answer prepared. "The Konoha Twelve are not going anywhere for a few days. They can exchange caretaking duties among themselves, and Hiro-chan doesn't have to even stop living in your house. Does that satisfy you, Mother Hen?"

Naruto crossed his arms, not saying a word, but scowling. Obviously he didn't like the situation, but in the face of such fact, he couldn't come up with a decent argument.

Hiro suddenly spoke up, still riding Tonton. But what came out of his mouth surprised everyone all the same. "Go."

Mouths dropped in shock. Tonton went "Buhi!" in her own special way and reared like a horse, before trotting over to give the kid back. Hiro got off his trusty porky steed and stood in front of his fathers, serious as pnemonia. "Go," he said again. "Go, chi."

Sasuke looked from Naruto, to Hiro, and back. Then he reached down and ruffled between Hiro's squirrel ears. "The kid has spoken. Let's go."

Hiro nodded and even helped his fathers out the door, pushing them out by the backs of their knees due to his size. "Go, go go go, go go chi," he kept saying, overusing his new vocabulary. "Chi-chi, go!"

"Okay, okay, we're leaving," said Sasuke. "C'mon, dobe. He wants us to leave now." Naruto nodded while looking very proud, and they both left.

********

Hiro watched his fathers leave the village and suddenly felt very alone. A silly feeling, since he was surrounded by other tall-humans, but hey, it was a human thing. Hiro still saw himself as a squirrel.

These tall-humans were very complex, to his way of thinking. Then again, everything about these humans was complex to him. Eating with sticks, sitting on a white bowl to do nature's business, and getting cleaned on a regular basis, along with eating strange foods that were not acorns, were just a few things Hiro didn't understand about this strange world of tall-humans.

But he loved his Papa and his Tou-chan. So he tried very hard to please them. After all, they cared for him. They'd rescued him. And they'd given him a home. Papa reminded Hiro of a playful fox, always caring, always watching out for him. Tou-chan was more like a wolf, aloof and alone, but protective of his pup. Between the two of them, Hiro felt very loved and wanted.

Hiro's thoughts were suddenly interrupted when the tall-human-girl-Sakura picked him up expertly. "Hi, Hiro-chan!" she chirped. "I'm Sakura-nee-chan. We'll take care of you while those two boys are away. Okay?"

He nodded. This Sakura-nee-chan was a nice tall-human-girl. She was being honest with him.

She turned to face the other tall-humans. "These are your other nii-chans and nee-chans. We'll switch you off so you can hang with all of us."

Hiro waved to the tall-humans shyly. They all looked so different, but very, very nice people. They also were grouped in threes, for the most part. All the tall-humans looked at him very proudly, just like Papa and Tou-chan did. The tall-human-girls looked at him with Papa-like adoration as well.

"Don't worry, it's gonna be fun!" Sakura-nee-chan said. "Ready, Hiro-chan?"

There was only one word to say. "Go," Hiro said, nodding.

First he was taken to Sakura-nee-chan's house. Her room smelled like pretty things, like sunlight and cherry blossoms. Hiro liked it immediately. Especially her big, fluffy bedspread, which he jumped onto and snuggled up on, purring like a kitten. He rubbed his face in the smooth fabric and smiled. "Chiiiiii," he breathed. _So soft......_

"I see you like my bed," said Sakura-nee-chan from her desk. Hiro nodded. "Good. Well, we've worked out that you'll spend today with me, and then you'll go to Kiba-nii-chan's house. His mom's an animal doctor, so she'll give you a check-up. Okay?"

Hiro only understood a few words, but if it meant meeting someone new, he was game for it. "Chi," he agreed, falling asleep in a ball.

And that's how it was for the first few days. After Sakura-nee-chan's turn ended, Hiro was handed over to Kiba-nii-chan. He liked Kiba-nii-chan, and Akamaru. The large dog didn't scare him, contrary to what the tall-humans thought. Hiro rode Akamaru all the way to Kiba-nii-chan's house, which smelled like lots of dogs and three tall-humans. But even then the tall-humans were more like dogs. He made friends with the Inuzuka pack and let Kiba-nii-chan's mama examine him. She said he was human, but more like a squirrel, and his fur wouldn't come off. _But why would it? _Hiro wondered. _I'm a squirrel._

After Kiba-nii-chan, Hiro was traded off to Hinata-nee-chan. Hiro recognized her from what Papa had told him - a shy girl who always used to follow Papa around. She was very quiet, but very nice to Hiro. He met her younger sister, and her Papa, before meeting Neji-nii-chan, who Hiro found out was related to Hinata-nee-chan. Hiro also picked up several new words from his stay with the Hyuugas, coupling them with words spoken in the Inuzuka household and the small words Sakura-nee-chan had taught him.

But he still said no more than "Chi."

After Hinata-nee-chan and Neji-nii-chan, Hiro stayed with Ino-nee-chan. He liked Ino-nee-chan's the best so far, because her family sold pretty-smelling flowers. Hiro had seen flowers in the forests, but these were prettier. He even helped Ino-nee-chan in the shop, picking the freshest flowers for her to arrange and putting the bouquets out of the way. Ino-nee-chan would then hug him, and Hiro loved to be hugged. So he kept helping even after he got pricked by stem-thorns**.

Day 5 saw Hiro staying with Shika-nii-chan's family. Shika-nii-chan's mama loved Hiro at first sight, cuddling him like a giant teddy bear while telling off Shika-nii-chan's papa about something. Hiro spent most of the day fidgeting beside Shika-nii-chan (who looked like ) while he and his papa played an odd game on a board of wood with small pieces of wood cut in triangles***. But he still learned more words, which made the stillness easier to handle.

After Shika-nii-chan, Hiro went to Choji-nii-chan's house. There he was treated to so much good food, he actually ignored the nuts he had collected to sample Korean barbeque, ramen (which Papa always ate if he could) and other delicious tall-human foods that he'd never seen, smelled or thought of tasting before. It wasn't long before Hiro felt so full he almost burst. And that was only for lunch. Dinner was more of the same tasty goodness. Hiro also picked up useful terms for cooking and remembered the foods' names, so he could ask Tou-chan to make the same dishes when he and Papa came back.

The next day was a joint day for Lee-nii-chan and Ten-nee-chan. Ten-nee-chan (who reminded Hiro of a panda with her hairstyle) gave the little boy a kunai knife and taught him how to hold it without cutting himself. When he could do that, she then gave him a shuriken throwing star and repeated the process. Lee-nii-chan (who reminded Hiro of an owl with his big eyes) then taught Hiro how to kick and punch. "But only in self-defense," both tall-humans told him repeatedly. "Never attack. Not until you can defend yourself."

And Hiro remembered.

A week after his fathers left, Hiro was playing with Shino-nii-chan's bugs (i.e. giggling as the bugs tickled him mercilessly) when another nii-chan approached the two. Shino-nii-chan stood up and faced this person, who looked about the same age as him. "What are you doing here, Sai?" he asked in his deep voice.

"I came to see the newest addition to Naruto and Sasuke's family," came the reply. Hiro turned to look at the new nii-chan. He kind of looked like Tou-chan, the little boy realized, but wasn't Tou-chan. This nii-chan's hair was shorter and flatter, and his clothes weren't the same as Tou-chan's. His face was pale, like ice, and Hiro could tell that the smile on it was false, an imitation. For some reason, Hiro felt the fur of his tail bristle. This nii-chan was bad news.

Sai came over, but stayed a reasonable distance away from Hiro. "So this is Hiro-chan," he said, smiling that horrible fake smile again. "Cute. A squirrel from a fox and a wolf."

"Sai, please leave. You're scaring Hiro," said Shino-nii-chan.

And Sai was. Hiro was two tail shakes away from summoning a huge acorn and squashing the pale-faced scary person like a bug under a rock.

So Sai backed away and bowed. "All right. It was nice to meet you, Hiro-chan." And he left.

Hiro immediately jumped up to Shino-nii-chan's shoulder and gripped his white hood, shaking in fear. Shino-nii-chan petted him awkwardly (he wasn't a very touchy-feely person, Hiro learned) and headed back into Konoha.

The Konoha Twelve gathered and discussed what the meeting had meant, all while making sure Hiro was okay. He rather liked being worried over - the extra petting and hugging wasn't bad, to his way of thinking - but what he wasn't liking was the fact that he could understand almost everything being said.

"Why was he looking at Hiro?" asked Kiba-nii-chan in a growl. "That puppet-faced guy...."

Ino-nee-chan shrugged. "Maybe he was gathering intelligence. Root is still looking at Sasuke as a traitor and Naruto as a monster." (A.N. they all know Naruto is the Nine-Tails) "Maybe they're looking for leverage."

"They so much as _breathe on_ Hiro-chan wrong," said Hinata-nee-chan with uncharacteristic anger, "and they'll get my foot rammed in the place where the sun don't shine." Kiba-nii-chan winced and took her hand, smiling crookedly.

"He's still creepy, even though he's trying to assimilate," said Ino-nee-chan. "I mean, that fake smile of his....." She shuddered. "Ugh. Like looking at a china doll."

Ten-nee-chan twirled a kunai on her index finger. "He better not get Hiro-chan into trouble," she said.

"What's taking Sasuke and Naruto so long?" wondered Sakura aloud. "They never take this long on an A-rank mission. Maybe they ran into problems?"

Hiro pretended not to understand, but he felt a shudder run through him. _Something bad happened to Papa and Tou-chan?_ His ears flicked like a cat's when irritated by a fly. _But Papa and Tou-chan are strong. They wouldn't leave Hiro-chan**** alone. No, they'll come back._

So he held onto that thought - that Papa and Tou-chan would never abandon him - and kept his spirits high.

* * *

Hope you like the chapter! Please review! And yeah, went a little OCC on Hinata, but hey, she needed a backbone anyway, I think.

**Author's Notes**

*Tou-chan - means father in Japanese, JIC. It's how Hiro differentiates between Naruto (his Papa) and Sasuke (his Tou-chan)

**Hiro means roses, but he didn't know flower names.

***Hiro is explaining shogi at the best of his ability.

****He refers to himself in the third person.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Hiro's Adventures in Konohagakure**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Standard Disclaimer. No ownage of _Naruto _by me. Us. Anyone but Kishimoto.**

**Red: Damn......**

**DemonClowSorceress: I hear that. Oh, and be warned - random crack from Red to follow.**

* * *

Later that night Hiro scurried up a tree and sat in the second-tallest branches (now that he was very big, the tallest thin branches couldn't hold his weight) looking in the general direction where his fathers had left a week ago. Blinking many times, he tried to see in the darkness, but he had no night vision, so everything looked dark blue or black. He tried to listen to the night noises, but it was a confused jumble of sounds. He had nothing to work with.

This Kono-nest place was very different, Hiro thought. It was like its own forest, but one of hard-stone and cut-wood than the forest Hiro had previously known. These tall-humans were as confusing as a squashed anthill, scurrying every which way to get done many jobs at once. Many had stony faces, others stone eyes hidden behind smiles. The tall-humans here had seen many things, much more than Hiro had ever seen in his short, if indeterminite lifetime.

And some of these things, the boy thought, had not been good things.

His young mind was swirling with several confusing questions. He knew that his Papa and Tou-chan were beyond the forest, doing something dangerous, if what the nii-chans and nee-chans said was true. Why weren't they helping? Why weren't Papa and Tou-chan back yet?

The new nii-chan - Sai - had not been a good person. Hiro had smelled something foreign on his clothes that had made his nose wrinkle. It had reminded the boy of when he'd stumbled across a rabbit after a wolverine had finished with it. The sight and smell had given him shakes and scary-sleep* for many days.

Sai had smelled the same as the dead rabbit. He'd smelled of blood.

Hiro snuggled against the tree trunk, inhaling the pine scent. He missed the forest. There, his mind was uncluttered with thoughts that hurt his head. He could summon food all he wanted, run all he wanted, get as dirty as he wanted, and sleep all he wanted. The only things he had to worry about was falling out of trees and becoming a target for wandering panthers - the usual meat-eaters of the forest knew him and wouldn't attack him.

"Chi," he sighed. Holding out his hand, Hiro caught the acorn that fell from the sky above his head and cracked it open. Chewing, he looked at the shell. He'd always had this power, this knack for making nuts come from nowhere when he was hungry or scared. Sometimes it worked when he wanted it to, sometimes it just happened. The first time it had happened, he'd been close to being eaten by a bear. A huge nut had appeared and crashed down, smashing the bear's jaws shut and letting Hiro escape.

The moon rose, casting a little light over the blackness. Hiro yawned, noticing how late it was, and climbed down the tree carefully. He would go to Sakura-nee-chan's house and fall asleep on her fluffy-silky-blankie, and tomorrow he'd worry about the thoughts that made his head hurt.

********

Another two weeks passed. Hiro grew another five inches. Now he was about two and a half, almost three feet tall standing straight up.

He missed his Papa and his Tou-chan. Three weeks seemed like forever to the little boy. Despite everyone saying that they would be okay, Hiro was worried about his adoptive parents.

Not that anyone would think it. To the rest of Konoha, Hiro seemed to adapt to his rotation between his twelve adoptive nii-chans and nee-chans. Through his interactions with them, the boy soon learned words and concepts simply by paying attention to the conversations around him. He learned manners, polite behavior, and other human traits. Little by little, he acted more human with every passing day.

To everyone else, Hiro appeared to be a normal, albeit fur-wearing, child. And even that was changing. One day, Hiro woke up and found his fingertips showing through his fur. Another day, he felt wisps of hair poking out from under his furry cowl that weren't fur. He had no idea why this was happening, but it was. So he adapted as best he could.

A month after Naruto and Sasuke left for Iwa, Hiro was lying in a field playing with a ball when his sharp nose picked up the scent of Ten-nee-chan and Neji-nii-chan. Sitting up, he bounded over to them and jumped into Ten-nee-chan's arms. "Chi!"

"Hey Hiro-chan!" The panda-haired girl hugged him tightly. "Are you amusing yourself?"

He nodded. Neji-nii-chan spoke next. "Hey, I heard from some incoming patrols that Naruto and Sasuke were spotted near the Iwa-Konoha border. They should be back in two days, isn't that great Hiro?"

_Papa and Tou-chan are coming home?! _"Chi!" exclaimed the little boy, too excited to find the right words.

"What should we do for them when they get back?" Ten-nee-chan asked the Hyuuga genius. "Maybe cook some dinner? They'll be too tired to make anything, after a month-long mission..." And the conversation wandered along from there, but Hiro was stuck back on _cook some dinner_. In his experiences, cooking involved taking different foods and making something new and tasty with them. Fire and metal plates were part of it too, and a big book, if his stay at Choji-nii-chan's house told him anything.

Hiro smiled as he realized he was on his first mission. He was going to learn how to cook!

Unfortunately, young squirrel-boys are just like small children learning to cook without supervision - they have no idea what to do, so they tend to ignore the cookbook and experiment.

After six hours of mixing, heating, chopping, and five low-grade explosions, Hiro had to take a break. The kitchen looked like a blast field, with food streak marks on the walls and cupboards, cracked bowls and plates, and a sinkful of broken dishes. A strange smog floated above Hiro's head, almost like smoke, but not, and it smelled like crusty old socks.

In the bathroom, Hiro winced as he put a Band-Aid on the small cut on his finger and splashed water on the red welt on his palm. _Now Hiro-chan knows - metal over fire gets hot,_ he thought, cleaning up his sticky face. _Cooking is harder than Hiro-chan thought. _But since he was Naruto's kid, he was stubborn as a mule once he started something, so he was determined to finish. _Hiro-chan will complete this mission, and Hiro-chan will make Papa and Tou-chan proud!_

Four hours later, Hiro surveyed the damage to the kitchen. On the one hand, there were decent-looking foodstuffs on the table (the only part of the kitchen area that wasn't broken, dirty, or otherwise maimed). On the other hand, the kitchen looked even worse than before. The stuff from before had dried and cracked, and now there were broken eggs and spilled food on the floor. The smelly-sock stench was worse, because now it stank with something rotten. It was so bad, it took another two hours to clean up the kitchen and return it to its original shine.

But Hiro, only concerned with results, covered the food up, put it in the fridge, and went to bed, confident his fathers would be home when he woke up.

When they weren't, he wasn't daunted. Hiro merely got up and set out to have another adventure. He made it perhaps five blocks when he saw the scary nii-chan sitting by himself in an alley, using a paintbrush on a scroll. Hiro paused for fifteen seconds, his curiosity fighting his fear. He wanted to know what the nii-chan was doing; he wanted to get as far away from him as fast as possible. And where Hiro is concerned, that's pretty damn fast.

Curiosity won in the end. Fur bristling, he edged closer, trying to see at the greatest possible distance so he wouldn't have to come any closer. "Chi?" he inquired, not brave enough to use human words.

Sai looked up and saw his furry little watcher. "Oh, Hiro. Hello." He made to smile, but didn't. "What am I doing?" He looked to the scroll on his lap, then the brush in his hand. "Just painting. Nothing more or less."

Hiro crept closer to peer over the top. On the white parchment was an intricate ink painting of a many-branched tree, its gnarled roots growing down a cliff. The foliage was elegant and spattered with flowers, and in the background was a sunset. But what fascinated Hiro the most about the scenery was the fact that it was painted in black ink. No colors other than black. But Hiro could tell every detail perfectly, right down to the occasional whorls in the trunk and the shadows on the ground.

But there was no name in the corner. Even Hiro knew that every piece of art had the artist's name in the corner. So he pointed to the corner and said, "Chi?" in a questioning tone.

Sai looked surprised, then he looked almost subdued. "I don't......feel anything," he admitted. "My training......it's made me good at what I do. But now, I don't have emotions like you or the others. So why name a picture to which I hold no attachment to?"

_So people will know Sai-nii-chan's work,_ Hiro thought, then stopped, blinking. The idea of calling the scary fake-faced person in front of him a nii-chan would never have crossed Hiro's mind before now. But it was true. He wasn't as scared of Sai-nii-chan now as before, possibly because he hadn't known the truth. Sai-nii-chan wasn't trying to give fake smiles - he just didn't know how to smile right.

Hiro was about to encourage Sai-nii-chan some more when he heard a noise. Focusing on his hearing, he could discern shouting from the village gates. And he could hear several of his nii-chans and nee-chans yelling several funny jokes at someone. A grin split his face; Sakura-nee-chan would only call two people "complete idiots for leaving Hiro-chan for so long!"

_Papa and Tou-chan are back!!_

Pulling Sai-nii-chan's hand until the older boy stood up, he started running. But then he realized he'd take too long on the streets, so Hiro improvised. Crouching low, like he'd seen Shika-nii-chan and Sakura-nee-chan do, he jumped up as high as he could. His outstretched fingertips grabbed a windowsill, which he used to lever his small body up so he could jump to the rooftop. Now all of Konoha was visible to him, as were the village gates. With a "Chi!" of joy, Hiro started bounding towards them on all fours.

When the gates came into unobstructed view, Hiro saw that they were creaking open to allow the Konoha Twelve to exit and greet Naruto and Sasuke. The little boy's heart was ready to burst from excitement, so instead of stopping, Hiro barrelled through everything in his path on all fours. Those who caught a glimpse of him later described the child as a furry brown comet, coming from nowhere to leap straight into Naruto's arms.

"Hiro-chan!" cried Naruto, surprised as well as pleased; he'd been looking for the squirrel-boy ever since the welcoming committee arrived. "Look Tou-chan, it's Hiro-chan!"

Sasuke slung an arm over his boyfriend's shoulder, looking at the child. "A bigger Hiro-chan," he admitted, ruffling between Hiro's ears. "Looks like he's sprouted up some. We've been gone for a while."

When he said that, Hiro suddenly felt angry. His cute face scrunched up as he frowned at his fathers for the first time. Everyone present dropped their jaws in shock as what erupted from Hiro's mouth would forever be known as "Hiro's first rant".

"Papa and Tou-chan took too long!" said the boy. "Hiro-chan was worried! Were you going to come home ever again? Hiro-chan is changing, and Papa and Tou-chan weren't here to explain why! Hiro-chan was lonely! Where were you?!"

And not a "chi" to be heard.

Naruto and Sasuke stared at their small charge, surprised that in the month they'd been gone, Hiro had gone from a shy little one-word squirrel to a somewhat larger squirrel with a larger grasp on vocabulary skills, as well as a small temper. Pride was predominant in their emotional scope, as well as surprise and exhaustion. Being chewed-out by their kawaii little squirrel only added to the exhaustion of having to evade capture during their mission in Iwa.

Naruto hugged Hiro closer, smiling happily at the familiar warmth in his arms. "Let's go home."

"Hiro-chan made dinner," announced the little boy proudly as they headed off, secretly glad that he'd cleaned up before leaving.

"Really?" said Sasuke, clearly impressed. "Then we'll eat first and then go to bed. Okay?"

"Okay!" And Hiro snuggled in his Papa's arms, happy that his family was together again.

********

Naruto burped happily, patting his bulging belly. "Wow! Hiro-chan's cooking is so good!"

"Hiro-chan learned while at Choji-nii-chan's house," said the squirrel-boy proudly, standing on tiptoes on his stoold to wash the dishes in the sink. "It's easy."

Sasuke admitted that it was good food. "Now we know you can take care of yourself, Hiro. Good boy." This made the small boy smile happily, his fur fluffing and settling in satisfaction. Sighing, the black-haired boy lay back on the sofa, practically sprawling on it. "Whew, that was a long mission."

"What was it?" Hiro asked. "The mission."

"It was very important and very dangerous!" Naruto sat up and threw his arms open for dramatic effect. "We had to go to Iwa and we were all undercover, and we had to assassinate this evil guy, so that it could be all peaceful, and we thought that was that! But noooooo, we had to fight hundred of evil ninjas, and there were landslides left and right!" The blond thrashed in his chair, creating a dramatic re-enactment of them dodging certain death. "And then Deidara - he's from Akatsuki, they're a bad group of dudes who want to take over the world - anyway, he shows up, with the mouths-in-hands and the clay, BOOM! BOOM! It was like, explosion!" Dramatic arm motions followed. "And then Sasori, they're partners, and he's all like, 'Ah-ha! I am puppetmaster, I have chakra puppet strings!' and like 'Now I have your Tou-chan!' "

"No! Tou-chan!" Hiro squealed, covering his mouth with his fingers.

"Yes!" said Naruto, way into the story. "And then Sasori was all like, 'HA! Dance, my little puppet-boy, dance!' And Tou-chan was all like - " Random sound effects followed as Naruto's arms and legs thrashed around in an uncoordinated way. "But then Papa came and saved the day! And used his chakra-scythe-blade of winged death to sever the puppet master's strings over Tou-chan! And then Tou-chan electrified Deidara, and he was all like, 'LIGHTNING POWER!' " Naruto made_ bzzzzing_ noises like touching a live wire. "And then Tou-chan electrified Sasori, and then - "

"Tou-chan Chop." A swift chop of Sasuke's hand made Naruto assume the fetal position of pain, gripping his blond head. "Dobe, that didn't happen. We just went in and got out."

"Owwwwwwiiieeee, Tou-chaaaaaaaaan," whined Naruto. "That huuuuuurt!"

Grabbing a handful of the blond's hair, Sasuke leaned in and planted a kiss right on his protesting lips. When they broke apart, he asked, with a satisfied smirk, "Feel better?"

"Yes!" replied his Naruto while Hiro clapped happily.

And then an explosion rocked the quiet, shocking all three boys out of their little peace. Shouts were heard across the village, high and panicked.

"It's Akatsuki! Akatsuki have been spotted outside the village!"

"It's Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi!"

Both boys froze. Hiro watched completely different expressions cross his fathers' faces. Sasuke's became one of contorted fury and hate; Naruto's whiskered face scowled into a ferocious snarl. Hiro saw the fox and the wolf so often mentioned by everyone else and felt very frightened.

"Hiro-chan, you stay here," said Naruto, his voice extremely light and calm despite his facial features. "Don't open the doors for anyone. Go straight to bed."

"We'll be back later," Sasuke promised, patting his kid's head. "Don't worry about us." Catching the slings of weapons Naruto threw him, the black-haired Uchiha cracked his knuckles. "Let's go," he said to his boyfriend. Both boys disappeared into the night, leaving a very concerned Hiro behind in the doorway.

The squirrel-boy really wanted to listen to Papa and Tou-chan. He really did. But again, he was stubborn. And he didn't want to lose his fathers again.

So, despite having no night vision and only a glowstick taken from his stay at Ino-nee-chan's house, Hiro leapt in the trees and across the rooftops, heading once again for the gates of Konoha.

* * *

Please review!

**A.N.**

*Hiro means nightmares.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Weasel, the Shark, and the Squirrel, Oh My!**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Standard Disclaimer: _Naruto_ not ours. Wish it was. Then Red could have Itachi to herself.**

**Red: ITACHI!!!! *fangirl squeal* My Itachi.**

**DemonClowSorceress: *sweatdrop* Oh god, it's gonna be a long chapter.....**

* * *

Few things in Konoha need explaining, thought Tsunade, surveying the hill outside of the village walls. Attacking Akatsuki operatives, for example, merit a certain procedure. First, the one they're after - always Naruto - his location must be verified. Easy to do now, since he and Sasuke popped to the Hokage's side.

Second, find out who the Akatsuki callers are. Already done - some loudmouth with sharp eyes had seen Kisame's fish skin. The only guy who worked with Kisame was Itachi. Simple math.

Third, figure out a way to get them away from the village. _Wait no, that's fourth now._ The new third step was keeping Sasuke sane and calm long enough to feed him orders and make sure he'll follow them. When concerning Itachi, Sasuke never listened, but charged straight in for the kill. Tsunade didn't want to shift through his tortured mind again to bring him back from a mental onslaught of Tsukiyomi. She was betting on the fact that Hiro's safety would trump Sasuke's need for revenge. She had enough time to reconsider it before more pressing matters came to her mind. Like the fact that some ninja were talking of jumping the Akatsuki men.

"Okay people, stay calm," she said in a strong voice. "No panicking, no heroes. We know why those two are here, so let's just focus on keeping them out. Status report."

Someone spoke up. "They're not engaging. They're just standing there like they're expecting something to happen....."

"Or someone to come out," said Naruto, balling his fist. Worriedly his eyes slanted to Sasuke, who was shaking in an effort to control his basic urge to kill his brother. "They're waiting for us to come out."

Tsunade looked to Hinata and Neji. Both Hyuuga had activated their Byakugan _kekkai genkai _and were focused on Itachi and Kisame. "What do you two see?"

"They're not preparing anything," said Hinata, concentrating. "They're just......standing there. Nothing is happening."

"Keep watching." The blonde Hokage fixed hard green eyes on Sasuke and Naruto. "Okay boys, I'm giving you an ultimatum. Neither of you will leave Konoha's walls without my direct order. Absolutely no exceptions to this order. Disobey and I'll personally bury the two of you in fire anthills. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," chorused the two. They had absolutely no intention of going out there. They were hoping the Akatsuki would be tempted to come into Konoha. _Then_ they could go buck-wild on their asses.

"I hope Hiro-chan is okay," murmured Naruto as Tsunade walked away. "He seemed really scared."

"He'll be fine, he's a tough kid," Sasuke assured him. "But that order was totally unnecessary. What does she think we are, six?"

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah, seriously. It's not like we're gonna do something reckless."

But due to an unexpected twist of fate (and the author's passing evil whim, that is, moi's) the order just passed was now put to the test.

Because now, there was a reason for it to be in place.

********

Hiro had absolutely no intention of disobeying his Papa or Tou-chan. On the contrary. He just wanted to make sure they made it to the walls of the Konoha gates safely. His little squirrel mind still thought the journey was long, given that he had no idea exactly where everything was yet. And Papa and Tou-chan were mad as bears awoken in the middle of winter.

Using his sharp nose, Hiro tracked his fathers right up to the edge of the village. He could smell them on the wall, but Hiro was still at the age where he needed to see in order to believe. And since all staircases up to the wall were closed, he had to improvise. Always fun for a squirrel-boy.

None of the trees were tall enough for Hiro to dare a running leap onto the battlement; he was daring, but wasn't stupid. The wall had no handgrips big enough for him to latch onto, nor any ledges to, again, run and leap onto. His ears began flicking irritably as he sat cross-legged in the branch of the tree he was currently using as a rest point. The branch bent slightly under his weight.

And then he had it.

Ten minutes later he had successfully tied back a strong, sturdy sapling as far back as it would bend with some rope he had found lying around. Using Ino-nee-chan's glowstick, he found a laundry basket he could ride in and a sharp rock on the ground which would serve as a handy knife to cut the rope. _Perfect! _thought the little boy. _First, Hiro-chan will sit at the top of the tree in the basket. Then, Hiro-chan will cut the rope. The tree will snap back into place, sending Hiro-chan flying up to the wall and on top of Papa and Tou-chan. When we all hug, then Hiro-chan will go home. _It was a masterful plan, the boy thought, and smiled to himself as he settled into his makeshift catapult's basket top. So he could better see the rope, he tied his glowstick to the basket's handle, casting pale green light inside.

"Ready............set........" Hiro gave a clumsy salute with his rock. "Here comes Hiro-chan!"

Now Hiro, like any other small adventurous boy, had forgotten some basic things when constructing his catapult. For one thing, he had no idea how the height of the tree and the strength of the trunk would affect his speed. For another, he didn't know how far he'd actually travel. And yet another thing to be considered would be how he landed.

But he only thought in the moment, screaming, "FIRE!!!!" like he'd seen others cry while firing big-ninja catapults, and cut the rope. The tree snapped back upright, catapulting Hiro's basket into the air with the speed of a bullet. The green glowstick made it look like a radioactive comet as it arced through the sky.

People on the wall only heard the shout and saw a flash of green passing twenty feet over their heads before the basket kept going, heading straight for Itachi and Kisame. It took a couple seconds before Neji actually pegged the chakra signature of the small thing that had just cleared their heads and put two and two together.

"That was Hiro!"

Lee, Kiba, Shino, and Choji instantly reacted; the four of them latched onto Naruto and Sasuke like ugly on apes, planting their feet and struggling to keep the two boys from leaping after their young charge. Shikamaru used _**Kagemane no Jutsu **(Art of Me-and-My-Shadow)_ to further restrain them, but it was still difficult. Those who could sense chakra could almost feel the suppressed evil chakras - demon fox in Naruto, curse seal in Sasuke - starting to let loose.

Meanwhile, Hiro was getting his own surprise. He had been flying for maybe fifteen seconds, then hit the ground so hard he bounced out of the basket, bounced on the ground again, and landed right into someone's arms. His disoriented mind saw slanted dark eyes and black hair and instantly yelled, "Tou-chan!" as he threw himself in a hug around the individual's neck.

Whoever responded was not Tou-chan. "Wrong."

Then the other someone - not Papa - spoke. "WTF? What the hell is that furball? Tou-chan?" The voice was rough, deep, and definitely NOT Papa's. "Itachi, you didn't say you had kids."

"I don't." This voice was not Tou-chan's, but deeper and more fluid. "I don't know what this is."

For the first time, Hiro looked up at the person he clung to. The face reminded him of Tou-chan, but it wasn't Tou-chan. The eyes were different, and so was the hairstyle. Not to mention, this man was much older than Tou-chan and had none of Tou-chan's warmth.

Suddenly Hiro was picked up by the scruff of his neck, dangling high above the ground (a.k.a. five feet) in another person's grip, staring at the person he'd mistaken for his Tou-chan. "Itachi," said his captor, "what the hell is it?"

"Exactly what I came to see," said Itachi after a few seconds.

The next deep words were spoken in disbelief. "You mean this thing.....is why we're here? This furball?" Hiro was spun around and came face-to-face with a blue-skinned, gilled man with spiky blue hair and sharp teeth. "A squirrel-boy."

Hiro's shock kept him quiet for all of two seconds. Then he burst out with, "You're not Papa, Shark-baka! Let Hiro-chan go!"

Kisame (for it was he) blinked in surprise. "It talks." Itachi rolled his eyes, a silent way of saying, _Congrats, Captain Obvious. _"Shut it, Itachi. And it's name is Hiro-chan?"

"Hiro-chan didn't hear him say anything," said the little boy, confused. "Shark-baka crazy."

Itachi spoke up. "He knew. Trust me. He knew."

The child laughed and clapped his little hands. "Ha ha! Shark-baka whipped! Shark-baka the uke!"

Kisame was, understandably, pissed. "You - What the - No, that's - " He gritted his teeth. "Why you little - shit!" And he reached for Samehada.

But as soon as the curse word left his mouth Hiro threw his hands up. "CHI!" And a giant acorn the size of a draft horse and as heavy as a house crashed on top of Kisame, which caused Hiro to fly backwards into Itachi's arms. The elder Uchiha blinked, surprised that the small fuzzball was now in his arms.

Hiro shook his finger at the blue-shark-man like Papa did when Hiro broke things. "Bad Shark-baka! Your language is stupid!"

While Kisame cursed and Hiro responded with more showers of regular-sized nuts, Itachi's face remained the same while his genius brain cranked out the following thoughts. _He called me Tou-chan. Tou-chan?.......Sasuke. Okay, so he's Sasuke's. Makes sense, since that's what the rumors said. __Okay, but who's the other one? He said PAPA and Tou-chan. Papa......Papa......the Nine-Tails? _One blink, no change in expression. _Well, he does talk like Naruto. And gods know my little brother has had a thing for him since they were seven. So now they're together, and this little squir - Hiro-chan? was it? - is theirs. Which means the rumors are true. So..... _And a series of pictures ran through his mind:

_Fox (Naruto) + Wolf (Sasuke) = Squirrel (Hiro) ???????_

"Adopted?" he said out loud.

Hiro's head whipped around and up. "Yes! Hiro-chan was adopted! How did Ita-nii-chan know?!"

"Well it was - wait, huh?" For the first time (in a very long time) Itachi was surprised. "Ita-nii-chan?"

Hiro nodded. "You're Tou-chan's Aniki (big brother) right? Hiro-chan knows because Papa said Tou-chan has sworn revenge on Itachi for killing his clan! What's 'revenge' Ita-nii-chan?"

Itachi was spared a response by Kisame's muffled, "Hey! Get me out from under this pile of nuts! NOW!"

********

Meanwhile, back on Konoha's wall.......

"What do you mean, Itachi's holding him?!" Naruto was close to freaking out and jumping out to retrieve his kawaii squirrel. "Dammit Neji, what the hell's happening?!"

"I said, dummy, he's holding him! Like a kid!" Neji demonstrated while keeping his eyes fixed on Hiro. "It's nonthreatening! And now - " The Hyuuga boy snorted. "He just buried Kisame under a pile of nuts."

They tried, they really did. It was a serious situation. One in which you're not supposed to bust out laughing like rabid hyenas because of all the sexual innuendos associated with that one statement.

But when Tsunade came back to check on the boys, she found everyone but Kakashi rolling on the ground, laughing their collective asses off. Gathering the situation to be deteriorating quickly, she asked for an update and got a big shock.

Obviously she needed to work on her betting parameters. "Okay, this is now bad."

"Ya think, Old Lady?!" yelled Naruto, sobering up quickly. "Do you not see the problem here? My son is in the arms of Sasuke's older brother and a murderous shark-man! Shark! Hiro-chan is a squirrel! A _squirrel_! Do you not see the issue at hand!?"

"Um, Naruto?" said Hinata, sounding really scared.

He rounded on her and, on a roll, screamed, "WHAT?!"

She recoiled, then pointed. "Itachi's leaving. And Hiro-chan is going with him."

The two fathers blinked once, twice, three times. Then, with a scream of rage, they launched themselves over the wall and barrelled after Itachi, losing themselves in the evil chakras held in their bodies. Naruto gained the Kyuubi's first two tails, while Sasuke took on the characteristics of his Curse Seal level 2. Kisame stepped in front of them, unsheathing Samehada. But what he'd failed to remember was that it was not a good idea to come between a child and its parents.

But he was about to find out.

**Twelve Hours Later.........**

Itachi topped the rise and found the hidden cave he was looking for. Walking inside, he was greeted by six other members of Akatsuki.

Correction. Five members of Akatsuki and its founder, an ancient evil genius disguised as an idiot.

Said idiot Tobi was currently annoying Deidara and Konan, speaking to one, then the other, irritating both to the point of Deidara kicking Tobi's head without changing expression. Sasori didn't even look up from his puppet, as intent as he was in fixing a splintered arm. Hidan was kneeling in a corner, his triple-bladed scythe leaning in the crook of his arm and on his shoulder, head bent in prayer to his homicidal god Jashin. Kakuzu was not in the cave; neither was Pain. Odd, since they never left their partners. Zetsu was also nowhere to be seen.

"You look like hell," remarked Deidara when the Uchiha man came farther inside. "And where's Sharkie, un?"

"I had to leave him behind." Walking for twelve hours straight was a little tiring in his condition. Itachi spied an open boulder and made to sit down when -

A loud, jaw-popping yawn preceded, "ITA-NII-CHAAAAAN! HIRO-CHAN'S HUUUUUUUNGRYYYYYYY!"

The assembled Akatsuki were treated by a very rare occurance - Itachi jumped and his eyes bugged out in shock. His head turned to look at the furry thing that was slowly unfolding from its fetal position, handfuls of his cloak being released from strong little fingers. "What - the - frickin' - I told you to go home."

"Uchiha got jumped by a kid in a fur suit?" mused Sasori, glancing over. "How did that happen?"

Hiro hung off of Itachi's shoulders like a baby monkey. "Papa and Tou-chan were scary," he said, shivering.

"Papa and Tou-chan?" repeated Konan, catching it quickly. "Who are his parents?"

_Better get it over with. _Itachi sighed. "The Nine-Tails and my little brother."

The Akatsuki tilted their heads, thinking the following equation:

_Fox + Wolf = Squirrel????????????? 0.o _

_W. T. F. O. M. G._

"And you brought him _here_." She sounded surprised, but covered it with resignation.

"It wasn't on purpose." In his mind, Itachi played through the scenario again. He'd seen what he'd come to see, so they were about to leave. Naruto and Sasuke had lunged, Kisame had engaged, and Itachi knew a lost battle when he saw one, so he'd left his partner to work off some anger issues. _Hiro must've latched onto my back before I completely left the area......_

"Hiro-chan was scared. So Hiro-chan went with Ita-nii-chan!" The squirrel-boy stretched to his full height of two-feet-eight inches and leapt off Itachi's back, bouncing slightly to regain his balance. Fixing Itachi with a big-eyed grin he said, "Okay, Ita-nii-chan!"

Deidara, always quick to diss Itachi, didn't waste any time cracking up. "ITA-NII-CHAN?!?! Are you serious, un?! That's frickin' hilarious! What happened Itachi, you find him and adopt him, un? OMG, that's so flippin' - "

"OMG, DeiDei-chan!" The laugh-fest was interrupted by Hiro, who was applauding hilariously. "It's DeiDei-chan, with the BOOM and the BANG and the hand-mouths, wow! How did you know Hiro-chan was adopted, DeiDei-chan?" chirped up Hiro, cocking his head to the side.

Itachi thought, _Naruto's kid all right, _and barely suppressed his laughter when Deidara snapped, "The heck?! What kinda name is that?"

"It's kinda cute," remarked Sasori, coming over to see what all the ruckus was about. Hiro saw him and gasped.

"Yes! It's Ori-chan! With the puppets and the strings and the 'Dance, puppets, dance!' and - " Hiro did a series of strange poses while making _shwooming_ sound effects before doing a random backflip, laughing his head off. "Are you friends of Ita-nii-chan's?!"

Itachi was about to reply when Hidan stuck his head right in Hiro's face and yelled, "The f*** is this thing? It's annoying and its b*tching is interrupting my prayer to Jashin-sama! Shut the f*** up, you little - "

"CHIIIII!" screamed Hiro, throwing his hands up to protect himself.

When the dust cleared, an acorn the size of a small house was where Hidan had stood. Only one hand and his scythe were clear. Deidara's mouth moved, but no noise came out of it. Sasori's eyes widened slightly, as did Konan's. A forgotten Tobi came forward, stared, then poked the acorn. "It's a nut," he said. "Damn."

Then he was flying to the ground again, his head kicked by Hiro. Itachi had seen it - a flying kick from the ground right to Tobi's temple. _He must've seen Deidara doing the same thing when I came in. Kid's got potential. _"Hiro, don't kick people randomly. It's not polite."

Konan knelt down, taking a piece of paper from her sleeve. "Cute kid," she remarked. Folding the paper for a few seconds, she made a paper crane and made it fly over Hiro, who immediately watched the crane flap over his head. "We have to get him out of here. He's comprimised us."

"And what, leave him alone here? Not smart." Itachi knew his brother's temper. If Hiro was hurt in any way when they found him.......they'd want his blood. "They'll hunt us down."

"You got a better idea?" Konan folded her arms over her chest. "The only way to ensure his safety would be for one of us to stay behind, but that's out of the question. If you're right - and you normally are - they'll kill the babysitter." She snapped her fingers at Hidan, who by now had halfway wormed his way out from under the giant acorn. "Oy, stupid. Shut your mouth and start cleaning up."

"Don't order me around, you fu - "

"Chi," said Hiro without looking away from the crane. Another nut the size of a large dog crashed on him.

"Fuc - !"

"Chi." Crash!

"Shi - !"

"Chi." WHAM!

"You - !"

"Chi." SMASH!

"THAT LAST ONE WASN'T EVEN A CURSE!" yelled a nearly smothered Hidan.

"Hiro-chan doesn't like you," stated the little boy. "Skull-baka smell crazy."

_This guy has killed hundreds, but he's being p'wned by a kid,_ thought Itachi. _Oh, how the mighty have fallen._

Sasori left his puppet for another time and took Hiro aside, making a lizard dance while the other Akatsuki took apart their makeshift hideout and eliminated all traces of life. Itachi kept glancing at the little boy, who laughed as the Suna puppetmaster made the lizard do several acrobatic tricks the small reptile was incapable of doing naturally. _That's my nephew,_ he thought, a little surprised. _Hiro is my nephew._

When the cave just looked like an ordinary cave again and everyone was suited up, Itachi took Hiro aside and told him to stay put. "With any luck your fathers are on their way here to pick you up. Stay and they'll find you easier."

"But Hiro-chan wants to come with Ita-nii-chan and the Red-Cloud Club!" chirped Hiro, swinging his legs childishly.

_Red-Cloud Club?_ thought the others.

"No, not today. You have to wait for your fathers." And the other members of Akatsuki were treated to another rare Itachi Human Moment - he knelt down to Hiro's level and affectionately ruffled the fur between his squirrel ears. "Maybe another time." _When Sasuke's not trying to viciously __kill me and Naruto's not on my shopping list, along with the other Tailed Beasts and milk._

Hiro's face fell. "Okay," he said, crestfallen. Then he stuck out his pinky finger. "Promise?"

Major memory flashback moment. Itachi had to fight his way back through all the pinky promises with his adorable little brother. Staring at his hand, Itachi raised his hand up, feeling like he wasn't even the one making it move. His pinky finger extended slightly, as if unsure as it what it was doing.

Hiro hooked his little pinky around Itachi's larger one, much like a button hook around a pruning hook. "Promise!" he said, grinning happily. "Hiro-chan'll see you soon, Ita-nii-chan!"

Itachi blinked, staring at the wrapped pinkies. He was about to say something, but the situation demanded he take his leave. So he distangled their fingers, patted his nephew once more, bundled up in his cloak, and left Hiro sitting at the mouth of the cave with Konan's paper crane.

********

Akamaru sniffed the earth, intent on picking up the elusive scent. Kiba rode on his back, applying his own olfactory senses to help his ninken partner find a small squirrel scent among the varied smells of the forest -

POOT!

"Geez Naruto, gimme a break!" yelled the Inuzuka boy, pinching his nose shut as his eyes watered. "Go downwind next time, dammit!" Realizing what he'd just said, he stumbled to apologize. "Um, I mean, um......"

"Did you find him yet?" Sasuke barely kept the note of frustration from his voice. In his opinion, they had taken too long finding Hiro's trail. Twelve hours had meant nothing to Kiba, Hinata, Neji and Shino before now. Something must have happened. Something - _No, don't think like that! _He cast an anxious glance at Naruto, who had uncharacteristically not blown up at Kiba's retort. _He's really depressed. We have to find Hiro. _"Just keep looking," he said shortly.

"We're doing all we can, Sasuke," said Hinata softly, patting his shoulder gently. "Don't worry. We'll find him."

Casting his mind around for something else to think, Sasuke settled on the fight with Kisame. The bastard had been tough, holding more chakra than Sasuke had originally figured. Even Level 2 curse seal and two-tailed Kyuubi weren't a match for him. But rather than risk bringing Konoha into the crossfire, they hadn't kicked it up a notch and wasted the shark. Instead they'd let him run and were now in pursuit, trying also to pin down exactly where Hiro went twelve hours earlier.

The sun was starting to rise, Sasuke noticed. Shading his eyes against the suddenly bright rays, he spied Naruto shaking. Sakura was trying to comfort him, but this was a man's job. Respectfully Sasuke asked her to give them some alone time* and hugged the blond boy. "Hey, it's okay. Hiro's okay. You know that."

"But he's alone." Naruto's eyes were bloodshot and oozing liquid. _Aw shit, he's been crying. Shit. _"Hiro-chan doesn't like to be alone. Sasuke, what if something's happened to him? What if he's hurt?"

"Then we'll hunt Itachi down and bare his guts for the crows to feast on." _You know, before I get my revenge on him._

Suddenly there was a shout from the front of the group. "Naruto! Sasuke! Shino says he's found something!" cried Hinata, waving her hand.

There was no unit of time short enough to clock how fast they moved. When they got to Shino, the bug-boy held out a thin object. "My bugs found Hiro's chakra on this. Do you recognize it?" Everyone gathered around to look.

"That's one of my glowsticks," Ino said. "I gave it to Hiro because he can't see in the dark." Unsurprisingly, this failed to cheer Naruto up at all.

"He's close by," said Neji, scanning the ground. "His chakra's faint though. Like he never touched the ground at all......"

"There!" Everyone jumped when Tenten suddenly screamed from the top of her very high perch in a tree. "I see him! There's a cave about six hundred yards from here. He's at the mouth of it."

When they broke cover running, the first thing Sasuke did was let Naruto run to Hiro. He, on the other hand, activated his Sharingan to make sure there were no surprises left behind by Akatsuki. When he found none, he raced over to his boyfriend and their child.

"Oh Hiro-chan, Hiro-chan!" Naruto was crying again, holding Hiro in a tight hug like someone was about to snatch him away again. "Are you all right? Are you hurt? Oh, Hiro-chan, Papa was so worried about you!" He buried his face in the small squirrel-boy's fur and burst into tears.

"Hiro-chan is fine, Papa," said the little boy, looking from his fox father to his wolf father. "Ita-nii-chan was nice, and so was DeiDei-chan and Ori-chan and Ko-nee-chan. Shark-baka was mean to Hiro-chan, and Skull-baka said bad words, but Hiro-chan showed them!" His face split into a huge grin. "And look! Ko-nee-chan gave me a paper birdie!"

Sakura took the bird from Hiro and unfolded it. Wordlessly she handed the sheet to Sasuke, who read the familiar handwriting:

_He's got ninja potential, my kawaii little nephew does. Train him up, Sasuke. It'll do you good. See you soon._

The note was unsigned, but he knew who it was from. Angrily he shoved the piece of paper into his pocket. Embracing Naruto and Hiro, Sasuke shoved thoughts of revenge and Itachi from his mind and just gave thanks that his family was back together again.

As focused as the Konoha Twelve was on the touching reunion, they never noticed that they were being watched. From the cover of bushes burned a pair of eyes that were fixated on the small bundle in his fathers' arms. _So that's what all the fuss was about, _the watcher thought. _Looks like something interesting is about to happen. And now, when all the catalysts have begun to move in on Konoha's prizes....... _The eyes cut to Sasuke and Naruto. _A wolf and a fox. Douse me, it's true. And both cursed, I can see. How fascinating._

The eyes looked again at Hiro. _You, little one, I'll come back for in a year or two, _promised the watcher. _You got lucky this time. After you've learned some new tricks, then you can begin down the road towards your destiny. Until then, have a nice life. _Then the eyes blinked and disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

A.N.

* - you know, "Back off, bitch," but in nicer words

I know, it's very long. Review please! I'd like hear your feedback on this!

Red: Me too!! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Hiro's Growing Pains!**

**DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, since if I owned it I wouldn't need to write this every chapter.**

* * *

**Back in Konoha.......**

Hiro fussed through his fathers' examinations. "Papa, Tou-chan, Hiro-chan is all right!" Squirming away, he bounded out the window and perched on a tree branch just out of reach. "See? Hiro-chan is fine! Ita-nii-chan was nice. So was DeiDei-chan, Ori-chan and Ko-nee-chan. Not Shark-baka or Skull-baka, and Mask-baka was annoying, but the others were nice!"

Both fathers twitched angrily when the Akatsuki were mentioned despite the cute names Hiro gave them.

"And Hiro-chan has been thinking......" Hiro tapped his chin, looking out over the village. "That maybe........Hiro-chan should be a ninja like Papa and Tou-chan."

Both boys looked at each other in shock. Of course, they had considered the option when Hiro had scurried up to the corner of the ceiling during that first week. But after the close scare with Akatsuki, Naruto and Sasuke weren't so sure about the whole ninja thing. There was a few moments of silent consideration between them before Naruto cleared his throat. "What brought this on, Hiro-chan?"

"Then Papa and Tou-chan won't have to be so afraid for Hiro-chan all the time," said the child. "Because Hiro-chan should know how to fight. Then Hiro-chan won't be a nuisance."

"You're never a nuisance, Hiro," said Sasuke firmly, hugging him. "Never. But you being a ninja......well, we need to think about it for a while, Papa and me. Okay?"

_But Hiro-chan is sure,_ thought Hiro as he was put to bed with lots of hugs and a kiss on the forehead from his Papa. _Hiro-chan knows this for sure. Hiro-chan can help Papa, and Tou-chan, and all Hiro-chan's nii-chans and nee-chans if Hiro-chan could fight like they could._

But Hiro wasn't a fool. He knew there were some things he couldn't do as well as everyone else. He wasn't powerful like Papa or a genius like Tou-chan. He wasn't smart like Shika-nii-chan, or clever like Neji-nii-chan, or tough like Lee-nii-chan. He didn't have special animal skills like Kiba-nii-chan or Shino-nii-chan despite his squirrelness, nor did he have cool ninja skills like Sai-nii-chan or Choji-nii-chan. He didn't have a _kekkai genkai_ like Hinata-nee-chan, super-strength like Sakura-nee-chan, mind-controlling powers like Ino-nee-chan - Hiro laughed to himself as he remembered how she'd done ninja moves while possessing a cat - or badass weapon skills like Ten-nee-chan.

All Hiro had, he thought, was the fur on his back and his wits. And his summoning skill, if that was considered special.

_Hiro-chan will have to use his wits to make Papa and Tou-chan see, _the young boy thought, curling up to sleep. _Tomorrow, Hiro-chan will have to work hard to prove himself._

********

The next few weeks saw Hiro desperately trying to toughen himself up without Naruto or Sasuke knowing. He'd wake up long before his fathers did and slip into the woods with borrowed kunai and shuriken from their weapons pouches, practicing what he'd been taught by Ten-nee-chan. Sometimes he'd try the moves Lee-nii-chan had showed him, punching trees until he managed to filch a stuffed dummy from the training grounds and started using it instead. Then he'd sneak back in time for breakfast and saying good-bye to whichever of them left for a mission. Since that first month-long mission, Naruto and Sasuke had made an agreement to not leave Hiro by himself.

When Naruto was the one who stayed, Hiro had some more freedom, but less time. His Papa would try to keep him close to home, inventing new games to play with his son. Hiro loved this time with his Papa, but the bonding time meant he had to do his training during the day, when Naruto was doing small chores around the house and didn't miss him.

When Sasuke stayed home, Hiro had less freedom but more time to himself. Tou-chan would sometimes keep to himself, going to train on his own, but always checked on Hiro at the house at irregular times. This meant Hiro couldn't train unless he snuck out after dark - always risky since sentries were posted - and practiced long into the night. He'd be bone-tired the next day, but forced himself to act like nothing was different.

Slowly, but noticeably, Hiro again began to change. He didn't have another serious growth spurt, but his squirrel fur shrunk back some more. Now his bare feet were completely visible, as were his hands. His tail sometimes went limp unexpectedly, which made him worry about his health, but most days he was too tired to care.

He also began to get stronger and tougher. Small tasks that were too much for him soon became easy. Hiro began carrying objects half his weight without a problem. Because he regularly had to sneak across Konoha to his private training ground, he became quiet and quick, melting into the darkness. His night vision, nonexistant before, began to develop. His reflexes became less animal-like and more refined. Soon his late-night training jaunts didn't tire him as much as they once had. He no longer had to pretend he wasn't tired, because he really wasn't.

Two months after Itachi's arrival, Hiro was walking down the street when he found himself at the Cadet Academy. Lacking anything to do, he sat on a swing he saw and watched as children his size (but older than him, he knew) began practicing the types of moves he'd seen his nii-chans and nee-chans do. They looked very determined, Hiro saw, and their sensei was quick to pick up on any mistakes they made.

He also saw Hiro sitting by himself on the swing. Leaving his cadets, the man came over. He had darkish skin, like stained wood, and a scar across his nose and cheeks. "You're not from here, are you?"

"Hiro-chan is Hiro-chan," replied the squirrel-boy. His tail gave a quick wave before falling limp. Blushing in embarassment, Hiro picked it up and lay it across his knees. "At least, Hiro-chan hopes he is."

"Hiro-chan....." The man blinked, recognition flashing in his eyes. "Oh! You're Naruto's adopted son! Right." He held out his hand, which dwarfed Hiro's small hand when he shook it gingerly. "I'm his old sensei, Iruka."

Hiro nodded, recalling his Papa's old stories. "Iru......sensei," he repeated.

"Sure." Iru-sensei put his hands on his hips. "So, Hiro-chan, are you thinking of becoming a ninja?"

The little boy's blue eyes lit up. "Yes! Hiro-chan wants to make Papa and Tou-chan proud!" Then his face fell. "But Papa and Tou-chan said they would think about it, but that was two full moons ago*......"

Iru-sensei grinned. "Tell you what. I can tell you've been working at it, so here's what we'll do. I'll let you fight one of my newer cadets. If you win, I'll talk to your fathers about letting you come on as a student. If you lose, you can train and re-apply when you're ready. How's that?"

Hiro bounced out of his swing and cried, "Okay, chi!" The last word came out before he could clap his hands over his mouth, so he winced in anticipation of the inevitable nut.

Thankfully it was a small one, bouncing off Iru-sensei's head like a raindrop on a stone. The man laughed and led Hiro over to the children, who had stopped training to see Hiro coming up to them. Hiro saw some of them whispering, some pointing, and some even making faces at his fur, but he showed no emotion on his face. _Tou-chan says ninjas can tell if you're scared. Hiro-chan is not afraid._

"Everyone, this is - " Iru-sensei paused, seeming to fumble. In his mind he was debating - was it Uchiha Hiro or Uzumaki Hiro? Had they decided? The two weren't legit together, so which last name had they given their son? "Um, this is - "

"Uzuha Hiro," Hiro supplied**. "Hir - I am Uzuha Hiro."

Iru-sensei blinked, but rolled with it. "Anyway, Hiro is here to try out for a place in the Academy. Would anyone like to spar with him?"

Children exchanged glances at each other. One boy raised his hand. "Why're you wearing a fur suit?" he asked Hiro.

_Other children don't wear fur like you do_, Hiro remembered his Papa telling him. So he was honest. "I was found in it. I like wearing it."

"You look really weird," said one girl. This made some others giggle. Iru-sensei glared at them and they went silent.

"Will anyone spar with Hiro?" he asked again.

Another boy stepped forward. "How old are you?"

_Ten months old. _Hiro knew this, but he had to think for a second before the answer came to him. "Four," he corrected himself. _Have to be more like tall-humans. _He was as tall as a four-year-old, Tou-chan had once said.

Apparently that was funny, because all the children began to laugh. A tall kid with beady eyes stepped up. "I'm Guta," he said, "and I'm seven. What's a four-year-old doing trying to pick a fight with us?"

"I'm not picking a fight." Hiro could smell this boy's bully-ness coming from every pore. "I just want to be a ninja."

As luck would have it, walking along the chain-link fence was Team 10, returning from a mission. They heard the commotion and took a peek, but when they saw Hiro inside they stared in shock. Well, Hinata and Kiba did. What could be seen of Shino (like his nose) didn't change in the least.

"Fine then. Let's play ninja." From his pocket Guta pulled out some shuriken cut from cardboard. "I'll be Konoha. You'll be the enemy."

Iru-sensei snapped, "Guta! You're not allowed to have those in class!" but Hiro patted his thigh. The little squirrel's face was intent, so unlike his normally cheerful and happy expression. It made Kiba and Hinata blink in shock, seeing their kawaii little Hiro so serious. Shino still showed no expression.

Hiro didn't see his nii-chans and nee-chan at the fence. He was too busy centering himself around the fight to begin. He knew Guta wouldn't play fair; the cardboard shuriken against the rules were proof of that. Hiro was a simple soul; if you hid something, chances were you'd do it again. Guta reminded him of a lone coyote that Hiro had tangled with in the before-times. It had seemed weak and starving, but once it saw Hiro, it had utilized every predator trick to try and eat the child.

When Guta lunged at Hiro, he was ready. Instead of going left or right, like expected, Hiro jumped straight up. His strong leg muscles let him clear five feet, much to everyone's gasps of surprise, before landing on top of Guta's fat head and leaping off like a springboard. While the other boy was stumbling forward trying to regain his balance, Hiro crawled up a tree and peeked through the branches. The children began to clap and smile. Clearly Guta wasn't popular.

Said Guta was whipping out his shuriken. "Taste pricks, squirrel boy!" he yelled.

Hiro wasn't expecting the first carboard star to almost hit his face. _He has good aim! I'd better be careful. _He leapt to another tree, dodging a shuriken along the way. _This is way worse then evading a coyote! _Not only was Guta a good thrower, he also had a lot of shuriken. And Hiro had to attack him one way or another. This was much different then his training.

But, it was a good difference. You didn't get an adrenaline rush evading dummies.

Hiro saw an opening when Guta fumbled to get more shuriken. Recalling his experiences with Ita-nii-chan, he jumped from the tree and hit the ground running. Guta's eyes widened when he saw the brown blur before Hiro jumped three feet in front of him.

And delivered a perfect flying kick. In the head.

Kiba and Hinata gasped. Shino nodded. "Good move." And the kids cheered as Hiro brushed himself off.

Iruka chuckled, watching the suddenly popular Hiro become surrounded by the children. "Huh, he actually did it." _Not that I'm surprised. His parents **are **__Naruto and Sasuke. I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't all he knew. Those two wrote the book on unexpected._

"Iru-sensei!" Hiro suddenly leapt from the center of his adoring fans, executed a perfect front flip, and landed feet-first in front of Iruka. "So? Can I be a ninja now?"

Now Iruka was caught between a rock and a hard place. He couldn't break the promise, but he had to leave himself an out in case Hiro's parents didn't want him to be a ninja. Which left one classic trick that he knew would never work on Naruto and Sasuke.

There was no way. No way in hell. They were too smart to fall for it. Maybe not Naruto, but definitely Sasuke.......

********

Naruto was, shall we say, surprised to hear that his little boy had been in a fight with a seven-year-old cadet. He was even more surprised to hear he had won the fight.

But he was adamant. "No. Sasuke and I still have to talk about Hiro's future."

Iruka smiled. As usual, the fox was stubborn as all hell. He sent Hiro out to play so that he could focus solely on his former pupil. "Naruto, that boy is gifted. Guta was one of my best cadets, ninjutsu-and-taijutsu-wise. Hiro made him look like a fool and incapacitated him with one kick. I'm telling you, Hiro has a lot of potential as a ninja."

"But - " The front door opening had them both turning to the black-haired boy entering. Sasuke shed his tattered cloak and hung up his weapons. Naruto jumped up and bounded over to him. "Sasuke! Yay!" he cried as he threw his arms around his boyfriend's neck.

"Hey cutie, what's happening?" Sasuke dropped a kiss on the blond's head before seeing Iruka on the sofa. "We have company? What did you do?"

"It's about Hiro-chan," Naruto said. "Iruka-sensei wants us to let him enroll in the Academy as a cadet."

"Why?"

Iruka took over. "For one, I've seen him in action. He took out one of my best cadets in single combat, and his opponent had fake weapons that he knew how to use. He displays good reflexes, a clear mind for strategy, and can think on his feet. For a four-year-old, he's remarkably talented."

"Four?" repeated Naruto, confused. "No, that's wrong. He's only a year old, tops."

This was too unbelieveable, so Iruka simply accepted it and moved on. "Look, he can come for a probationary term. A few months, just to see how he takes. And if you don't like how it's going, I'll end it. Swear."

The two parents looked at each other. Iruka could almost see and hear the mental conversation between them. Sasuke played on Hiro's side, while Naruto was the affectionate yet overportective mother-figure. They had a silent argument regarding the legalities of the whole thing, Hiro's stamina or lack thereof, the trials of becoming a ninja, and their own personal experiences dealing with becoming ninjas versus Hiro's gentle temperment and changes that could happen. But Iruka could see that the boys were faltering in both aspects.

A movement on the cieling caught Iruka's eyes. Looking up, he remarked, "Look boys, 'gullible' is written on the cieling," before he burst out laughing.

Naruto and Sasuke looked up. Hiro was splayed across the cieling like a starfish, face looking down at the three. His tail gripped a magic marker. Written in bold black strokes above his head was one word.

_**Gullible**_.

Hiro laughed like a maniac as his fathers' faces became shocked. "Papa and Tou-chan looked! I was right, Iru-sensei! They did look!" He laughed so hard that he fell off the cieling and into Naruto's arms. "Yay, yay, yay! I'm going to be a ninja!"

Iruka grinned sheepishly as Naruto and Sasuke fixed equal glares of _What does he mean? _on him. "Well, I kinda bet Hiro that he couldn't beat Guta. When he did, I said you two had to fall for the 'gullible-written-on-the-cieling' ploy. But I had no idea he'd actually write _gullible_ up there......"

"Hiro is a simple kid. You saw the ocean tastes like sugar, he'll jump in with his mouth wide open." Sasuke glowered at Iruka, pissed that they - forget Naruto, that _he, _Uchiha Sasuke, had fallen for such a lame trick. Thinking past his own wounded pride, he said, "Say we actually let Hiro do this. You mentioned a probationary period. Exactly how long is a few months?"

"Two," answered Iruka quickly, naming the time period he normally saw who were slackers and who had the guts for the life. "Maybe three. No more than four; that's the first real preliminary. If he can't last that long, I'll let him go."

Naruto and Sasuke had another silent conversation using their eyes. This time Iruka couldn't read them. He did his utmost to not betray any emotion on his own face lest it tip the scales out of Hiro's favor.

Finally they stopped and Naruto spoke. "Okay, Iruka-sensei. We'll try your way. But if we don't like it, we'll pull him out."

Iruka smiled and nodded his acceptance. "Very well."

"YAAAAAAY!" screamed the ecstatic Hiro as he hugged his fathers. "I'm gonna be a ninja! I'm gonna be a ninja! Just watch, I'll make you proud, chi!"

An acorn dropped from midair and bounced off Iruka's head. The man grinned in forgiveness as he mentally braced himself for mini-Naruto-style pranks all over again.

**_"Two. Maybe three. If he can't last that long, I'll let him go."_**

_But will I last that long?_

********

**Eight months later......**

"Roll call," said Iruka dully, holding up his clipboard. "Hitomi." The girl raised her hand. "Fuin." A sleepy-faced boy raised his hand. "Kokoro, Tomi, Kisuke, Lin, Riku, Eri." One by one the children raised their hands. "Hiro."

Silence. The students glanced around, seeing an empty spot where the boy usually sat.

Iruka didn't even look up. "Hiro. Hiro," he repeated, shuffling his feet a little bit. "Hi - "

"SURPRISE ATTACK FROM THE LEFT!" came a yell.

This is what most of the kids saw - Hiro jumping down from the corner of the back of the room's cieling, arms held out straight like he was a furry Superman, heading straight for Iruka's head. But Iruka only adjusted his position slightly, his head leaning back to miss being glomped by the squirrel-boy, who flew past him and right out the window with a loud "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"Hiro-chan!" cried most of the girls, hands grabbing heads in shock. The boys, however, merely cracked up like hyenas on laughing gas, falling out of their chairs and rolling on the ground in hysterics. Those who could still walk hobbled over to the open window and called out, "Oy, Uzuha! You okay?"

"I'm fine!" came the slightly winded reply. First came the two ears, then the brown fur hood, and finally all of Hiro's upper body popped out from the leafy bushes he'd fallen into. His face was rubbed raw, courtesy of the rough tree trunk bark that had interrupted his flight. "I'm good, I'm good."

Iruka rolled his eyes. "All right, since there's no injury, Hiro, would you please grace the classroom with your presence so we may begin?" He watched as Hiro scurried along the tree branch and shimmied in through the window, then jumped four-legged onto the first table, then one back, until he sat in his own chair. _He's almost like Kiba was, except more animalistic. I know Naruto and Sasuke said he was practically a squirrel in human form, but seeing it in action is still pretty unbelievable......._

Hiro had lasted the two months, and longer. Iruka was even seriously considering placing the little boy in the preliminary exam coming up. He'd said it at first just to place a timeline, but now.......Hiro had proven himself capable.

If only he actually _stayed in class_ long enough to _learn_ anything.

Unfortunately, Hiro was a special blend of the Rookie Nine boys. He had Naruto's ADHD and lack of respect, Sasuke's quick learning ability, Shikamaru's sleepiness habit, Choji's fondness for snacks in class, Kiba's animal-like tendencies to not remain in one place for too long, and sometimes Shino's insightful instincts. This had combined into a hyperactive, prank-prone child who excelled in strategy, cleverness and sheer luck but lacked drive and failed on written tests simply because he either slept through class or wasn't there. He was a boy of action most of the time, going solo a lot, but when it came to group exams, he always pulled his weight and helped his teammates.

And he was only a year and a half old biologically. Looking at him, no one would have guessed. He'd undergone another growth spurt, topping three feet, and his squirrel suit was now comprised of smaller peices; sleeves on his wrists, loose shorts from which hung his tail, fur covering his shins, and the sleeveless fur shirt with the cowl of fur and ears he wore over his head. From a stranger's perspective, Hiro appeared to be about four or five years old. Something that Naruto and Sasuke had considered and asked Iruka to maintain while Hiro attended school.

"We want him to grow up normally," Naruto had said when they'd begun this. "If the children knew he was one, it would be......problematic." His blue eyes had misted over, reminding Iruka that he had also suffered something like this, albeit more dangerous and malicious. "Say he's four. Maybe five. Whichever, but promise you won't let slip that he's only a year old."

Iruka had kept that promise. And now he was seriously considering taking the one-and-a-half year old boy along when the other four-and-five-year old cadets had their survival training exam. Physically, he was up to it. Mentally, he was up to it. But his parents still had the last say, and Iruka was sure they wouldn't sign off on it.

When class ended for the day, Hiro trotted off to Ino-nee-chan's flower shop. Since he'd started school he had found that working there helped him wind down, so Hiro stayed for about an hour, inhaling all the flowery scents that calmed his sensitive nose. It helped on days when he'd had to deal with Kanimaru-sensei.

Kanimaru-sensei was a tough, weathered man who'd made it clear in no uncertain terms that he didn't like Hiro. And for a child who'd been loved since his arrival, Hiro hadn't picked up on that at first. But after the first couple classes with Kanimaru-sensei - the man taught taijutsu and physical endurance - Hiro had gotten the message. Especially after the time with the bulky twelve-year-old Kanimaru-sensei tried to force Hiro to fight when the smaller boy was already nursing a sprained shoulder.

"Hiro-chan, why are you scowling?" asked Ino-nee-chan, coming into the store with an overfull armful of fragrant roses and baby's breath. "Did something happen today at school?"

Hiro shook his head. "No, it was just a long day." Hopping off the stool he had plopped on, he came over and took half her load. "Where do you want these, Ino-nee-chan?"

"Over by those vases. We have some orders coming in and I can use all the help I can get." Ino-nee-chan gave him a warm smile. "Thanks Hiro, for helping out here."

"No problem!" chirped the little boy, basking in the compliment. "What can I do?"

For the next hour the little squirrel followed his blond nee-chan's orders, plucking flowers and tying ribbons around the perfect bouquets she made. Some people stopped in to pick up their orders, gave Hiro a look and a smile, and thanked him for their flowers. With each thanks, Hiro's ears would wiggle happily. When it was time to leave, Ino-nee-chan gave him two white flowers and a kiss on the forehead. "Your payment," she teased, ruffling his furry head between his ears. He smiled like a content cat and left.

When he came home, he found his parents in the kitchen, backs to each other. Hiro stiffened; he could pick up on the tension drowning the room. Something was wrong, and Papa and Tou-chan were angry for some reason. Hiro's fight-or-flight reflexes kicked in, but his curiosity kept him rooted in place. Silence reigned for a few minutes. Neither Naruto or Sasuke had noticed Hiro's appearance in the room.

"I've told you, he's not going," said Naruto, ripping the leaves off a head of lettuce. Rip, rip, rip!

"And I say, he should go," bit off Sasuke, cutting carrots with a large knife. Chop, chop, chop!

"He's too young!"

"Iruka thinks he'll make it. He's surprised everyone else so far."

"That exam is murder! We had to do it, and I almost died!" Rip, rip, rip!

"You tried eating green berries and were sick for two days. Hardly a death sentance." Chop, chop, chop!

Both boys whirled on one another; Sasuke clenched an uncut carrot, and Naruto somehow had a large fish in his hand. "Look, how about I make this decision!" they both snapped in unison. "But you made the last one, so it's my turn! Stop that!" they yelled, brandishing their respective weapons of choice. "Dammit, why don't you listen to me for once in your life?!"

Hiro decided to make his presence known. "Papa? Tou-chan?"

"WHAT?!" screamed his fathers, rounding on him with scowls, clenched fists and anger radiating from every pore. Deeply shocked - they had never yelled at him with such ferocity before - Hiro burst into tears and ran out on all fours, dropping the two flowers he had brought from Ino-nee-chan's shop on the floor in his hurry.

Behind him, Naruto and Sasuke belatedly realized what they had just done and ran after their little squirrel, but it was too late. Hiro's late-night excursions had provided him with the perfect escape route from his home. He had effectively disappeared with six bounds into the night. And Hiro, only fleeing in blind fear, paid no attention to where he was going as he raced out of Konoha and into the forest.

* * *

**Oh no, Hiro-chan ran away! Le gasp! Whatever will happed to our little squirrel-boy?!**

**Stay tuned to find out. Please review.**

**A.N.**

* - Two months. Hiro's concept of time is basic

** - "Uzuha" literally means "swirl leaf." It can be seen as a tribute to Konoha. It's also a combo of **_Uzu_**maki and Uchi**_ha_**. Clever Hiro-chan! ^_^


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Hiro's Run Away!**

**By DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: We do not own _Naruto_. I also do now own the characters that appear in this story.**

* * *

The sunlight filtered through the leafy canopy of trees, dappling on the ground in pretty patterns of light and shadow. The forest began to wake up with the sun, with birds chirping senseless melodies that only they know, fluttering from branch to branch in happiness and cheer -

One bird cheeped sharply, the general bird-call for _WTF is this?!_ It had landed on a quivering furball nestled in the crook between a large branch and the tree trunk. Other birds began to gather, chirping inquisitively, their little bird-brains failing to comprehend this new addition to the forest that was their home.

Then a slightly smarter owl, tired from a night's hunting, glided into his hole, which was coincidentally right above the furball. Settling in, the great winged hunter only said one thing to the furball. "Whoooo?"

The little ball of fur gave a sob. "Hiro...........Uzuha Hiro........." Another sob, and he shuddered. "Or.......Hiro-chan.........used to be......"

********

**Back in Konoha......**

Kakashi returned to the house in the early hours to find Naruto and Sasuke sitting on their couch, just as he'd left them ten hours before. Rubbing the back of his neck, he said, "Please tell me you two got some sleep since I left."

"How can we sleep when Hiro-chan's disappeared off the face of the earth!?" yelled Naruto, bursting into tears.

Sasuke wrapped his arms around the blond, letting Naruto bury his face in fabric and bawl his eyes out. "Is there any news at all?" he asked Kakashi, voice barely level. "A trail, a sighting, anything."

"The Inuzuka pack's on the scent trail, but it went cold in the forest by midnight. Someone thinks he saw an overlarge squirrel in the trees around two in the morning, but he couldn't be sure. Hiro's left no trail to speak of, deliberate or accidental." Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck again. "I hate to say this, but your little squirrel has gone groundhog. We've got nothing."

"Then go back out and find something!"

With one motion Naruto shoved Sasuke away and lunged at Kakashi. Grabbing his sensei's shirt in balled fists, the blond fox got right in his face and yelled, "Find him! Do you hear me?! Go out and DO NOT COME BACK UNLESS YOU FOUND HIRO-CHAN!" Shoving him backwards, Naruto raced off to the back bedroom crying, which abruptly cut off when he slammed the door.

Sasuke and Kakashi were quiet for a while, listening to the muffled sobs coming through the walls. Kakashi could tell that Sasuke likewise wanted to cry, but years of repressing his true emotions gave the Uchiha survivor a mask of indifference and a bottomless pit in which to drown his sorrow. Which made it very difficult for him to deal with other people's emotional outbursts.

Unfortunately, this made up the majority of issues that came with dating Naruto.

Kakashi gave the Uchiha boy his full attention. "We're widening the search radius, scouring the nearby forests. It doesn't help that he's never been out of Konoha since coming here; it means he could be lost. But don't worry," he added hurriedly, "we'll look in every tree, hole, and cave. We'll find Hiro, I promise." Kakashi had never met the small child, but he felt a paternal responsibility to find the adopted son of his former team. "Don't worry," he repeated lamely. "We'll find him."

Sasuke nodded, his black eyes blank. Without another word the two walked away from each other, Kakashi out the door, Sasuke towards the back bedroom to comfort his lover.

********

Hiro stumbled through the forest, not paying attention to where he stepped. The birds chirped above his head like feathery orbs, trying to get this strange being's attention and warn him of the upcoming dangers. But Hiro was deaf to the world.

His fathers had never yelled at him before. Not that he'd never seen them angry; oh no, he still clearly remembered when Ita-nii-chan and Shark-baka came to Konohagakure, how Papa and Tou-chan had gotten so mad that they had changed shapes. Papa had become a real, shimmery red fox, while Tou-chan looked like a demonic hawk-man. And they'd had such angry faces on, almost snarls, as they attacked the Shark-baka.....

But they'd never, never raised their voices at Hiro. They'd never been angry directly at Hiro before. And his flight response, suppressed by his human-like curiosity, had bounced and pounced on him so quickly he never questioned why his feet moved so fast.

He'd ran and ran and ran some more, until the moon began to set and the sky became a lighter blue-black on the horizon behind him. He'd kept on running until he couldn't run no more, then raced up a tree and fell asleep faster than a pin dropping. And now Hiro was undeniably, unmistakably, unbelievably lost.

But he wasn't helpless. He still had his school satchel, hanging from his shoulder in all the commotion, filled with mostly his weapons - he had unpacked his books before entering the kitchen, meaning to ask Tou-chan to train with him after dinner. Hiro had six kunai, a full two thigh pouches of shuriken, and a couple exploding tags just in case Tou-chan let him train with them. There was also an apple, leftover from his lunch. Hiro took it out now and started munching, trying to come up with a plan as his feet guided him out of the forest and into a clearing.

He'd barely taken six steps before hearing a loud "Help!" that echoed over and over, as if it came from the bottom of a well. "Help......help.....help....."

Hiro looked around, trying to find out the origin of the shout. "Hello?"

"Over here!........here.......here....." came the voice. "In the log!......the log.........the log......Help!......help......help......"

The log was about five feet away from Hiro, a thick-looking thing that was actually hollow from rot. From one end came the echoing voice. The other end held its owner, whose chubby little legs were flailing like an upside-down crab's. "Lemme out!......out......out!" begged the stuck person, who, Hiro realized, was very small. "I'm stuck!......stuck.....stuck......"

And even though Hiro was miserable, he knew being stuck head-first in a rotten old log was even worse than getting yelled at. In the forest, you could get eaten for being stuck in that kind of comprimising position. So he applied his upper body strength, grabbed the person's ankles, and pulled until the trapped individual came flying out with a loud POP! Hiro fell flat on his back while the other person bounced another foot before landing on his stomach.

"Yes! You saved me! Oh, thank you so much!" cried the person, jumping to his feet. "Let me reward you for your kind efforts!"

But Hiro only stared in shock. The person he had just rescued was a child, looking no older than him, and about three inches shorter, but slightly chubbier. Like Hiro, this boy also wore an outfit comprised primarily of fur; in this case, however, the other child was wearing the apparel of a tanuki. He had curly black hair under his light brown cowl, and golden irises that glittered mischeviously as he rummaged through a small pouch in the fur of his stomach.

"Here, good friend," said the tanuki-boy, stuffing a handful of crinkly leaves in Hiro's hand. "Payment for your troubles."

Now Hiro knew he was somewhat new to the ways of humans, but this wasn't beyond his scope of understanding. "They are leaves."

"No they aren't," replied the tanuki nervously, glancing around for a way out. His ringed tail wagged. "That's real money, little boy. Take it from me, I know - "

"And I know you're no older than me," replied Hiro. "You're a fur-child. Like me. You look older than you really are. Year and a half old, right?"

The tanuki-boy's golden eyes widened. "How did you know?" he asked, tone changing to that of a real child's. "How did you.....Wait." Leaning forward slightly, he sniffed the air between them. "You smell more like a squirrel than a human. And that fur......isn't from a dead one."

"I was found in a squirrel's fur that fit my body like a glove," Hiro said.

"And when you say a word, you summon something from nowhere?" the other boy cut in quickly.

Hiro nodded. "Yes! When I say 'Chi' - " And his hand reached up to catch the acorn that popped into existance. "See?"

"I can do that too!" said the tanuki-boy. "Stand behind me." Hiro moved quickly as the boy waved a hand. "Behold, the power of the - shiny!"

At the word _shiny_, a three-foot-tall stone prayer statue dropped from ten feet in the air to hit the ground, making everything jump a couple inches from the shockwave. Hiro's mouth dropped open as the tanuki laughed, jumping the four feet seperating him from the top and sitting cross-legged on the statue's head. Swaying back and forth with perfect balance, he crossed his arms and grinned hugely at the shell-shocked Hiro. "I'm Tomoya," he said. "I'm the 'forest spirit' of these parts." He used air quotes around _forest spirit_. "I'm from the Tanuki clan, as you can obviously tell. So, what's a Squirrel clan member doing around these parts."

"I'm Hiro. Uzuha Hiro." Hiro came over and stood on his tiptoes, extending his hand up to Tomoya. "I was wondering if you knew the way back to Konohagakure from here. I've been running all night and I'm kinda lost."

Tomoya snapped his fingers, making the stone statue disappear in a puff of smoke. "Don't worry Hiro! I know this country like the back of my hand!" he said, draping an arm around Hiro's shoulders. "Stick with me. I'll have you back before nightfall. And that's a promise!"

**The Next Day........**

"I thought you said you could get me home before nightfall," said Hiro, following his 'guide' through a marshy spot. He winced as he felt mud sucking at his ankles. "This doesn't look like what I came through last night..."

"Trust me, we're close to civilization," Tomoya assured him, throwing a smile over his shoulder. "Don't worry. Just a little farther, and then - " He looked back in front of him, nose quivering. "Yes! Tsukasa! C'mon Hiro!"

Hiro ran after Tomoya up the marshy hill, hoping that they would be out of the muggy, slimy, watery grounds and find a village where Hiro could take a bath and get cleaned up before seeing Papa and Tou -

But when they topped the hill, Hiro only saw more mists covering more marshes. Tomoya kept running towards two figures that came from that mist. Hiro stumbled down the hill after his friend, trying to make out the two newcomers. About his height, they didn't look very strange; at least, they weren't wearing fur like he and Tomoya. Both were young boys, one blond and one with messy dark hair. The blond looked like he was wearing something long and white, while the dark-haired one had black clothes. The mist obscured the details, so Hiro just pressed on until he caught up with Tomoya.

"Tomoya, what are you doing here?" asked the blond boy. Up close, he was a pale kid, almost sickly, to Hiro's mindset, and he had dark brown eyes like chocolate. His clothing was actually a long white cloak that covered his entire body from the neck down. Hiro was more interested in the white feathery things peeking out from under the boy's baby-duckfluff blond hair around where a human's ears were. _Are those - wings?_

"Don't tell me you got lost again," sighed the dark-haired boy, crossing his arms over his chest. He was obviously the more aggressive of the two newcomers. He was clothed in black; black sleeveless top, black knee shorts, black bands around his wrists, and a black leather cloak around his shoulders that fell to his elbows. His black hair, Hiro noted, had streaks of dark blood-red in it. Those ice-blue eyes didn't look very friendly either. "Geez Tomoya, stop coming around here every time you - "

Then Tsukasa saw Hiro coming up behind Tomoya. "And who's this?" he asked leaning forward. "A new friend, Tomoya?"

"I'm Uzuha Hiro from Konohagakure." Hiro held out his hand, which Tsukasa shook. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm Tsukasa," said the duck-fluff-haired boy. "And this is my best friend, Kaname." He pointed to the red-streak-haired boy.*

"Konoha, did you say?" Kaname glanced sideways at Tomoya, who was trying very hard not to be noticed. "Oy, stupid tanuki. You got lost again, didn't you?"

Tomoya squirmed as Hiro fixed him with a glare. "Me? Lost? Oh no, of course not! I just.....took a little detour....."

"You got lost, Tanuki-chan?" asked Hiro, lasping to kiddie talk again. "So, where are we?"

"This isn't Konoha," said Tsukasa to Hiro apologetically as Kaname bopped the tanuki boy on the head and proceeded to beat him up. "Tomoya is.......directionally challenged, shall we say. You're in River Country now; to get back to Konohagakure will mean re-crossing the border and heading east, towards the rising sun." He started to point the direction, but stopped. "Oh dang, I forgot. Mist, especially the misty marshes in the morning, make gauging locations hard. Kaname, could you lose the attitude and get some altitude?"

Kaname kicked Tomoya one last time, leaving the latter a smoking lumpy corpse on the ground. "Say what now?" he drawled, ambling over to Tsukasa's side. "What am I, your little errand boy? Why should we help this kid?"

"Because Tomoya is our friend and got Hiro lost in the first place," reasoned the blond boy. "It's the least we can do."

"Geez Tsukasa, you're such a bleeding heart. Remind me why - " He was cut off by Tsukasa's slap to the back of his head. "OW! I was just saying - " This time the hand became a fist and clonked his head. "OUCH! Jeez!"

"You'd think you'd learn to shut up after the first whack," remarked Hiro.

The black-haired boy sighed sharply and rolled his shoulders and neck, backing up slightly. "Fine, fine, fine. I'll take a look-see." He inhaled, then dropped to a crouch, balancing on his tiptoes, knees bent like a frog's. His arms went straight out like boards at his sides. "Making me do this in front of a complete stranger, jeez Tsukasa....."

Tsukasa nudged Hiro's ribs. "He's just faking it. He loves to show off. Watch, Hiro."

So Hiro watched. And nearly dislocated his jaw as it dropped. Kaname sprang from his crouch five feet straight up into the air, and his shoulder cape unfurlled to become two black, batlike wings that caught air and propelled him higher. So shocked was he that his mouth unconsciously spit out what his brain was thinking: "Akki-chan!"**

Kaname glided above them for a few minutes, which allowed Tomoya to recover and limp back to Tsukasa. "I'm sorry," he said to Hiro, sounding like he meant every word. "I really am. My sense of direction is......well, just be lucky we ran into these two and not those tall-humans."

The familiar term jolted Hiro's memory. "Tall-humans?"

"Normal humans," supplied Tsukasa. "Not like us." He looked at Hiro curiously. "You do know what you are, right?"

"I know I'm a squirrel-boy. And Tomoya is a tanuki-boy, right?" Tomoya nodded. "And you're a....."

The white feathers caught sunlight as Tsukasa revealed his dove-sized white wings, placed exactly where human ears would be. "Bird," he said. "And Kaname up there, he's a bat."

_More children like me? _Hiro had always believed himself to be unique, special. Alone in the world of normal humans who couldn't summon items by saying a word. But these three boys.....they were the same as him.

"What did you mean by 'just be lucky'?"

Tsukasa and Tomoya almost answered, but Kaname dropped down like a graceful dancer, his wings folding to resemble his shoulder-covering cape again. "Konoha's in that direction," he said, pointing left of the way Hiro and Tomoya had come. "But I saw smoke and fire up there. A village is under attack somewhere. You can't go that way again. We'll have to go around."

"We?" repeated Tsukasa, catching the group pronoun. "As in, you and I are going with them?"

"You keep moaning about leaving. We don't have a home here anyway." Already Kaname was taking point. "Besides, the stupid tanuki can't take him. The kid'll never find his way home." He looked back at the three boys who stared at him with varying levels of surprise. "What?! Come on already, I ain't got all day!"

Tsukasa laughed, smiling at Hiro. "I guess we're going with you, Hiro. Please take care of us all."

Hiro nodded, a big smile on his face. "Okay, Tenshi-chan!"*** When the other boy looked momentarily confused, he continued, "Well, he's Akki-chan, so you're Tenshi-chan!"

The blond blinked, and Hiro mentally hit himself. Of course he had spoken without thinking; he'd given such nicknames to his nii-chans and nee-chans, but Tsukasa and the others were strangers. He had no right to think they'd like the names he'd come up with for them. True, he had the mentality of a two-year-old, but it was no excuse; he'd always been mature for his age. Hiro bit his lip, unable to take it back.

But Tsukasa smiled again. "That's nice, to be called Tenshi-chan," he said. "It's different and cute."

Kaname's voice broke up the moment. "Hurry up Tsukasa, Hiro! We're gonna leave you behind!" Tomoya, shouting somewhat the same words, waved his arms wildly to get their attention. Laughing, Hiro and Tsukasa quickened their pace to catch up.

********

**Back in Konoha......**

Naruto sat huddled at the top of the Hokage monument, arms wrapped around his legs, knees right under his chin. Dried tears tracks made it hurt when he blinked, but he was past caring about anything right now.

He felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder. "You've been up here the entire time?" asked Sasuke.

"No, I'm just admiring the view and trying to levitate," replied Naruto flatly. "Did they get any word back?"

The hand tightened a tad. "No. They're still combing the area, but Konoha's a big country. He could be anywhere." Sasuke plopped down next to Naruto, providing a comforting warmth along the side of the blond's body. "You know Hiro's resourceful. He had his school bag with him, with his weapons. He can fend for himself, you know that."

His eyes began to burn, but Naruto had long run out of tears. So he just blinked furiously. "Hiro-chan....."

Sasuke wrapped an arm around him, and together the two boys prayed to whatever gods could hear them to protect their adventurous, hyper little squirrel.

* * *

**AWWWW! Poor Naruto!!**

**Red: :'(**

**Stick around for more!**

**A.N.**

* - The characters are a direct reference to _Juvenile Orion_'s Tsukasa and Kaname. Refer to disclaimer.

** - Akki means demon. Obvious name, given Kaname.

*** - Tenshi means angel.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Sometimes, Appearances Can Be Decieving.....**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: If I did own _Naruto_, there would be awesome stuff of win in it. Oh wait, there is already.**

**Red: But neither of us own it. Damn.**

* * *

The little band of Hiro, Tomoya, Tsukasa, and Kaname made good headway out of River Country, covering ground faster than an out-of-control wildfire. Unlike the cadets Hiro was used to dealing with, the three boys didn't whine, complain, or lag behind after running for seven hours straight. It was refreshing, Hiro thought, not having to stop every thirty minutes to let them catch a breath. _Fur-children really are better at roughing it than human children...._

Kaname kept to the skies, flying point, while Tsukasa and Hiro flanked below and on either side. Tomoya brought up the rear, and despite his pudgy appearance, he could easily keep up with the slimmer bird and squirrel. But even the tanuki needed rest, so when they stopped for a brief rest, Hiro took the opportunity to ask Tsukasa why he didn't fly with Kaname, who was catching a nap in a tree (hanging upside down by his knees like a trapeze artist, arms crossed under his cape.)

Tsukasa grinned sheepishly. "Do these wings look big enough to support me?" he asked, pointing to the two white wings where his ears were supposed to be. "No, Kaname can fly, but I can't. It's just not for me."

"Haven't you ever tried?" Hiro asked, curious.

"Yes, once. I nearly got myself killed. Jumped off a cliff," he said by way of explaination. "Kaname had to dive and save me. He broke his wing pulling out of it." The boy's chocolate brown eyes looked downcast, guilty. "I haven't tried since. It's not worth it." And so Hiro dropped the subject.

Soon they came up on the neighboring country of Ame (Rain) around three in the afternoon, judging by the sun's last position. Rainclouds were starting to move in, so the boys caught shelter in a small cave just east of the border. Kaname and Tsukasa both warned strongly against entering Ame's territory. "They say the man who rules here is God, and he has an Angel who can appear anywhere," they said solemnly. "He controls the rain, and he can tell when you come into his country."

Hiro didn't bother to argue; he knew some people scary enough to inspire fear like that. Ita-nii-chan, for one. Ori-chan, for another.

The rain came pummeling down soon enough, washing out the trail and trapping the four. Hiro used one of his exploding tags wrapped around a bundle of wood to light a fire, which helped to warm them. Tomoya shook himself a good distance away, releasing a cascade of water drops and puffing up like a blow-dried cat. Hiro likewise shook himself dry, with similar results. His wings extended to their full span, Kaname first spread one, then the other over the flames, drying the thin black membranes. Tsukasa only shook out and hung his cloak to dry, revealing his outfit of white knee-shorts and a white t-shirt that had an elegant feather design on the front.*

Suddenly Tomoya's ears wiggled. "I hear something outside," he whispered. "Someone's moving. Fast."

All the boys tensed up; Hiro kicked dirt over the fire to smother the flames. Darkness descended, the only source of light being the dimness from the outside. Holding his breath, Hiro could hear the quick, light footsteps pounding over the ground outside. He could also hear trailing footsteps from larger, heavier individuals. "One prey, four predators," he whispered, lasping into before-times speak, when he had classified creatures as predator and prey. "The prey's smaller, maybe shorter than me, but four-legged. Predators sound like four tall-humans."

Kaname pointed into the darkness. His icy blue eyes seemed to glow in the ambient light. "There. It's coming this way."

Sure enough, a white blob bounded from the treeline, bolting straight for the cave where the four boys were. It zigged and zagged, scattering waves of mud and surfing along the soggy ground. Veering to the north, it went about seven feet away before spinning around, dropping on all fours, and clearing the distance between it and the cave's mouth with one flying leap.

Lightning flashed, illuminating the intruder. Hiro saw white fur, blond hair, two long ears, and a small satchel before the being bolted behind him and hunched down, quivering. He smelled fear coming from this creature and instantly crouched defensively, not to hide, but to attack. "Akki-chan," he whispered, "what do you see?"

"Kaname," Tsukasa mumbled to clarify.

Kaname's blue eyes flashed with their own kind of lightning. He opened his mouth and made a small sound, a kind of high-pitched squeak that Hiro could barely hear. Listening for a few seconds, he nodded. "There are four tall-humans out there. They're looking for that." He pointed to the white fur thing shaking behind Hiro. "But they didn't see it come in here. They're trying to follow its tracks."

"Then they'd better be part bloodhound and part tracking device," muttered Tomoya. "Or they are so SOL."

Lightning flashed; the four boys ducked and made like rocks. Kaname's glowing eyes marked the progress of the tall-humans as they scoured the forest treeline, but they came nowhere near the cave. Tomoya's fake bear tracks kept them away; as the tanuki-boy had said, not many tall-humans wish to take on what they thought was a full-grown grizzly bear in this weather. When they headed back into the storm, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Hiro turned to examine the quivering thing hiding behind him. It was maybe two-seven, wearing a one-piece dress of what seemed to be white fur that puffed around the bottom like a pair of bloomers, and white fur slippers that were covered in dark mud. A puffy white cottontail rested squarely on the being's bottom. Thick, curly, honey-blond hair fell every which way, and poking from under the blonde mess were two long white rabbit ears.

"Usagi-chan!" cried Hiro.**

The rabbit-girl looked up. Big green eyes locked on Hiro's blue ones. "Chu," she said.

And a carrot whacked Hiro over the top of his head.

Kaname, Tomoya and Tsukasa tried to hold it in, they really did. But, being small boys, they were prone to irresponsible bouts of laughter at ridiculous things. And this qualified as one such incident. So they behaved accordingly. They burst into raucous laughter, doubling over with tears in their eyes. Tomoya actually fell over, he was laughing so hard.

Hiro rubbed his head and winced. "Usagi-chan has a mean sneak attack," he complained with a grin. "It's okay, Usagi-chan. We won't hurt you."

"Chu," she replied, pulling herself up his side with her hands until she hung off his arm like a nervous girlfriend, big eyes looking at the other boys. She seemed so much younger than the boys, Hiro thought. Possibly because she was scared out of her mind. And possibly because she was -

"She's only been around for about eight months," remarked Tomoya, sniffing Usagi-chan curiously. "Maybe less." A strange smile lit his face. "Well, cutie, why don't we get to know each other better? I can - OWIE!! KANAME, DAMMIT!" he yelled, dropping to a squat once the black-haired boy's fist connected with his noggin. "I was just - !"

"Hitting on the newbie girl, I know," said Kaname shortly. "Stupid tanuki. She's scared stiff. Your offer is scaring her even more. Besides," he added, watching her bury her face in Hiro's furry shoulder, "I think she's already chosen a knight in shining armor."

Tsukasa yawned, his wings stretching along with his arms. "Well, I'm beat from this. I'm going to sleep." Stirring up the embers of the doused fire, he got a small blaze going and lay down with his back to the flames. Tomoya curled up on a flat rock, covering his face with his round tail tip and instantly fell asleep. Kaname flew up to the roof of the cave and hung upside down, wrapping his wings around his body like a blanket, arms crossed.

Hiro gave Usagi-chan his blanket, then stretched out beside the fire. "Do you have a name, Usagi-chan?" he asked sleepily, closing his eyes. "Because if you do, we can call you that instead of Usagi-chan." Sleep was coming rather quickly; the encounter, coupled with the physical exertion of the last two days, must have been more of a taxing experience than he was used to. So as he was falling asleep, he could have imagined that she scooted closer to him, wrapping the blanket tightly around her shoulders.

He could have imagined her saying, "Hanika."

********

Kiba noticed Akamaru sniffing at a patch of grass off a ways from the beaten path. "Whatcha got, Akamaru?" he asked, coming to his ninken partner's side. "Who you sniffin'?"

"Arf, arf!" barked Akamaru, pawing the earth and snuffling. "Arf!"

Kneeling down, Kiba took a handful of dirt and sniffed. His eyes widened when he caught the faint, but recognizable scent. He looked around, getting his bearings. _It's possible,_ he thought. _Hiro ran out in a general this-way direction.....if he kept on running, he could have gone past here in the last day or so......_

He quickly mounted Akamaru, turning the large dog's head back to the village. "C'mon boy," he urged his partner, "we gotta hurry up. Naruto and Sasuke'll wanna know." And Akamaru, understanding the direness of the situation, poured on all speed back to Konohagakure.

The sentries were surprised to find their scout coming back in a whirlwind of dust and white fur. They were even more surprised when they watched Akamaru break all speed records, barrelling down the road like a Triple Crown Thoroughbred with Kiba egging him on like a jockey. People jumped out of the way as boy and dog raced through town, heading for Sasuke's house with all speed.

Naruto and Sasuke came outside when they heard the familiar barking. Kiba drew up outside the house and yelled, "I picked up Hiro's scent! He passed my patrol spot about a day ago, heading for River Country's borders! I think he could be heading for Suna!"

Naruto looked at his boyfriend, surprised. "You think he could be going to see Gaara? We've talked about him enough to Hiro...."

"Maybe," Sasuke admitted, shrugging. "I dunno. But I'm not sure. Would he know to go to Suna? It's an awfully long way, and he's never been farther from home than the cave Itachi left him at." The memory still made his voice grow barbed. "Suna is three days away. I don't think he'd know how to go straight there."

"But it is worth a try," insisted Naruto, looking from Sasuke to Kiba and back. "It's a shot. We can send a message to Gaara, ask him to scour the desert for Hiro. It can't be hard finding a little squirrel-boy in miles of sand, right?"

"I can take you to where I picked up the scent trail and we can follow it," a forgotten Kiba interjected.

Sasuke deliberated for all of twelve seconds, then nodded. "Okay. Let's tell the Hokage, then we'll move out. Get ready, Naruto."

By the time the three boys reached the Hokage's house, the rest of the Konoha Thirteen were gathered, having heard the news. Tsunade was releasing a messenger hawk when Naruto and Sasuke were coming up. "Gaara will get this within the next three hours," she said.

"Then let's go!" Naruto cried, punching the air.

"Yeah!" said the others, mimicking his action. Hiro was their own. He was lost. And they were going to get him back by any means necessary.

********

"So, the name's Hanika?" asked Tomoya, more to Hiro than to the rabbit-girl.

Kaname stretched his arms and wings, still hanging from the cieling. "So what? We got another tag-along, that's all I know. Can we afford to bring her along?"

"We can't leave her out here," said Tsukasa, the voice of kind reason. He sat next to Hanika, folding her blanket and putting it back in Hiro's school satchel. "Besides, we might find others like us. What kind of kids would we be if we didn't let them come along with us?"

Hiro blinked, then took the thought process of least complication. "We should let Usa - Hanika come with us," he said. "She's all alone out here, and it's obvious she can't protect herself very well." He gestured vaguely outside. "We're going to Konoha. Maybe she can get a family there."

"With tall-humans?" Kaname sounded skeptical. "I think that carrot nailed your head a little too hard last night. Tall-humans think we're too different. They think we're - evil." He said the last word with a combination of disgust and resignation. He'd heard it so many times and hated it, but he'd come to expect it.

But Hiro, shaking his head, disagreed. "No, no! Papa and Tou-chan are loving parents! They love me, and so do all my nii-chans and nee-chans! And I'm sure they'll love Hanika too!"

"You have two fathers?" asked Tomoya, cocking his head. "Really?"

"They adopted me," Hiro explained. "But enough of that. Shouldn't we get moving?"

The group moved out as the mist began to dissipate, making the most use of the cover they had. Tsukasa and Tomoya only had vague ideas of area above Ame, but Kaname proved very insightful as to what lay beyond. "Kusa no Kuni (Grass Country) is between Konoha and Iwa (Stone). As long as we head in a northeastern direction, we should just skirt the country and remain in Konoha. It'll get sunny after we get farther away from Ame, too."

"It's wet here," said Hanika, shaking her sodden slippers with every step. "And it's very quiet." Her long white ears twitched this way and that like furry antennae. "I can't hear anything for at least two leagues."

"At least we won't be ambushed," said Tomoya awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood. He failed miserably.

But as they approached Kusa, a completely non-Ame-related storm was just moving through. So while the landscape became plains and tall grass, the humidity never changed.

Kaname shivered, scowling at the dampness. "I hate this wet air. It makes my wings feel heavy." He extended his full wingspan and shook out one, then the other. The black membranes shed water droplets like shaken umbrellas, then wrapped around his shoulders in their short-cloak camoflogue. "I can't fly in this. Blech."

Hiro spied a small caramel-colored bolt shooting through the long grasses. "Kaname, look out!" he cried before being pounced on by the caramel thing. "Ouch!"

"The heck - Omph!" Tsukasa yelled as his face was slammed into the mud. Hanika squealed and bounded alongside a running Tomoya, following the tanuki boy up the closest tree. Together they yelled their words simultaneously, sounding something like this: "Chu on the Shiny!"

A deluge of carrots came down so fast they impaled the ground like stakes, narrowly missing the fast caramel attacker as it slid mud to avoid the projectile. The statue also missed, but caught a piece of clothing, pinning the creature for a minute. Kaname, having taken wing when Hiro shouted, saw the individual from above.

It was childlike in size and proportion, and definitely humanish. Caramel hair bristled out from under a red bandanna, tied in back to cover most of the child's head. A tan vest covered a black t-shirt, and khaki shorts completed the outfit. Torn black high socks and tan sandals were on the child's feet.

But it wasn't a human child. Kaname saw the bushy caramel-colored tail sticking from a hole in the khaki shorts, as well as the two fox ears slightly darker than the child's hair. _Another one,_ he sighed, touching down in front of the kid. _Gods, we're just picking them up one after another....._

"Oy, fur-child," he said. "Relax, we ain't gonna hurt you. Just stop wriggling already."

The fox child looked up, and Kaname's pale blue eyes widened. At the time he had thought he was dealing with a boy. But the face screamed _girl_ just as loudly as the fact that her shirt was sticking to her -

"Let me go, you damn raccoon!" snarled the girl, breaking Kaname's shocked revelation. "Get this damned statue off of me so I can slap you silly!" And her tail lashed to back up her threat.

"Um, how about no?" Tomoya yelled from atop the tree.

Kaname tucked in his wings and dropped down in front of the girl's trapped form. "Oy, you. Person over there. What's your name?"

Those dark caramel ears flicked in annoyance. "Daisuke."

He frowned. "That's a boy's name."

"Congratulations, you've passed kindergarten." The fox girl tugged her shirt, but the corner remained firmly pinned under Tomoya's statue. "Let me go, now!"

Hiro came over, a little wary of her, brushing mud from his cheeks. "Why do you have a boy's name, Kitsune-chan?" (A.N. - if I have to translate kitsune then you're not a _Naruto_ fan)

She scowled at him with bright green eyes. "I don't like my real name."

"What is it?" Hiro couldn't let it be. "Tell us, and we'll let you go."

Daisuke glanced from him, to Kaname, then Tsukasa who was still trying to scrub mud from his face. Sparing another glance to Tomoya and Hanika still up their tree, she grumbled, "Daisunekenn....."

"We don't speak mumble," snapped Kaname, crossing his arms. "Translation, please?"

She looked at the ground like she wanted to disappear, then looked at Kaname like he ought to burst into flames. "I'm known.....to......Daisukininaru."

The bat boy's blue eyes widened again in shock. "Say what now!?"***

"It's my name, dumbass!" she yelled. "But it's Daisuke to you! Now let me go!"

Tomoya, thinking everything was okay (he couldn't hear what they were saying very well) clapped his hands. The statue disappeared, letting Daisuke stand up straight. Unlike Hiro, Tomoya, and Hanika, she had no visible animal fur on her body, aside from her ears and tail. She was also a little taller than Hiro, but not as tall as Kaname and Tsukasa.

She was also jangling. Or, to be precise, the purse at her hip was. Hiro reached for it and got a slap across his knuckles. "No touching!"

"You're a thief!" the squirrel-boy cried, leveling the finger of accusation at her. "Stealing is bad!"

"It's either that or go hungry for me," Daisuke replied, pulling a piece of bread from the pouch and cramming it in her mouth. "So what're you people doing on Kusa borders? Don't you know there are raiders coming this way?"

"We can fend for ourselves, kitsune," snapped Kaname, still kinda red from the earlier misunderstanding. "You, on the other hand, can clear out."

"What for?!" Daisuke balled her fists and stood her ground. "I haven't done anything wrong!"

"She hasn't," agreed Hanika as she came down the tree cautiously. "Not to us, anyway."

"Five to one odds say she's the reason the raiders are coming this way." The fox girl squirmed a little. "See? Cut out, kitsune. We don't want your trouble."

"Make me," snarled Daisuke.

Kaname spread his wings (which made her eyes go wide) and he hovered above her head. "Okay," he said. "Pon!"

A poof of smoke later, a spiky pineapple dropped from the sky and nailed Daisuke on the head. The force made her hit the dirt, cursing all the way. Kaname crossed his arms and laughed out loud. "HA! What now?!"

Tsukasa and Hiro did a face-palm simultaneously. "Pineapple? Really?"

But Daisuke got right back up and, chucking the pineapple into the bushes, snarled, "Kyuu!"

And Kaname felt a sticky weight hit the top of his head. Reaching up, he picked up the object. And smirked. "A rice ball? Really?" he scoffed.

And then the rice ball exploded in his hand. Black soot streaked his face and set parts of his hair on fire. Needless to say, he was royally pissed off.

Hiro and Tsukasa face-palmed again. "Exploding rice balls? Really?"

"You little - " What followed was a word Hiro had never heard before, but sounded very rude and rhymed with 'witch'.

Daisuke reacted accordingly; screeching, she leaped at Kaname and latched onto him like a barnacle, clawing ferociously. Kaname shook and bobbed, gaining altitude in an attempt to shake her off. Higher and higher they went, getting smaller and smaller until finally, he shoved her off.

"Have a nice trip, see you next fall!" he yelled.

But what happened next completely surprised everyone. From out of nowhere another caramel-colored fox tail appeared, both spinning like helicoptor blades. Daisuke's descent slowed, then halted as she hovered ten feet from the ground. Tails spinning faster, she regained altitude and tackled a surprised Kaname, yelling "Kyuu!" and throwing exploding rice balls at him. He retaliated, yelling "Pon!" and chucking pineapples. The air was soon full of fruit and explosions.

Hiro watched the aerial battle with fascination and a twinge of deja vu. _This looks like something I saw on the Internet a few weeks ago. A fox that flies with helicopter tails.......with a blue hedgehog, I think.....what was it called? Something and Tails......blue hedgehog that runs really fast......_

"Sonic and Tails!" he cried, pointing at them. Tomoya and Hanika came over, curious, as Hiro had an ADHD moment, whipped out his Nindendo DS and began playing **_Sonic Rush Adventure_**. Attracted by the shiny object, the tanuki boy and rabbit girl came closer and watched as Hiro battled pirates at supersonic speeds. Above their heads, Daisuke and Kaname kept engaged in their own battle.

A forgotten Tsukasa, his little wings trembling, glared first at the battling fox and bat, then the three woodland creatures. "Flying foxes, exploding rice balls vs. pineapples, DS games, and raiders on the way. What's next?" he asked rhetorically, lifting his palms up and shrugging his shoulders. "Flying cats or something?"

And then he was nailed on the head. Again. For the second time in ten minutes his face was mashed into the dirt by a pair of feet that used him for a personal springboard.

Hiro, Tomoya, and Hanika squeaked in surprise as two new children backflipped and somersaulted into the clearing. A boy with ginger hair and a girl with black and white streaked hair, both wearing sleeveless shirts, shorts, and fingerless gloves. The boy had ginger ears poking from his mussed hair, while the girl's ears were dual-colored, white with black tips. Their tails were similarly colored.

"Cat children!" yelled Tomoya.

"Twin Neko-chans!" Hiro said in the same breath.

The cat twins kept on going. "Run!" they yelled in unison. "Hurry!"

The rest of the children on the ground bugged out after them, but Kaname and Daisuke, still engrossed in their battle above the earth, didn't hear them. But they eventually came down, exhausted from their constant summoning. Looking around at the empty clearing, Daisuke frowned and knelt on the ground, examining the tracks. "They ran for it. Really fast."

"Why?" asked Kaname.

The sudden flurry of kunai dotting the ground gave them their answer. Hearing the cries of the raiders, Kaname and Daisuke ran, respectively, like a bat out of hell and a fox from the hounds.

* * *

**A.N.**

* - imagine the feather logo from Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicles.

** - Usagi is rabbit.

*** - little pun here. Her name means 'to fall in love' and Kaname's thinking she's saying the literal meaning to him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: The Group Gains More Members, More Answers, and a Super-Cute Name!**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: _Naruto_ not belong to us. It belongs to Kishimoto, who is undoubtedly made of awesome and win.**

**Red: Hells yeah!! but....but...BUT HE KILLED ITACHI!!! WAAAAHH! ToT**

**DemonClowSorceress: Get a hold of yourself, woman! He's alive in this story! *sweatdrop* Drama queen....**

* * *

Naruto looked back, exasperated, as his team collapsed on the pine branches covering the ground. "C'mon you guys, hustle it up!" he yelled. "We've got a squirrel to find!"

"But Naruto," gasped Sakura, rolling onto her back to look up at him, "we can't move. We're tired and hungry and some of us are sporting cramps as big as Akamaru's head! Let's rest for a minute or two, come on!"

"Every minute we waste here, Hiro-chan could be hurt or lost or in trouble!" Naruto wrung his hands, something he'd been doing whenever things hadn't been moving fast enough for him. "It's been three days already! We have to find him!"

The pink-haired kunoichi didn't reply, instead pressing a hand to her side to try and alleviate the stitch. For the twelfth time she wished Sasuke had come with their group, but again she had to face facts. The Uchiha boy had left her, Neji, Tenten, Shikamaru, and Shino with his emotional blond boyfriend. He, meanwhile, was hunting up the other side of Konoha with Hinata, Lee, Kiba and Akamaru, Choji, and Ino. Sai had volunteered his services as well and was currently scouring Konoha from the air, searching for any sign of the little squirrel-boy.

She watched Naruto look around frantically like a mother hen who'd lost her chicks. She could count on one hand the times she'd seen him this insecure. He always hid his negative emotions; he had this twisted thought that if he did, he could fool people into thinking he was fine. In that aspect, he was still a doofus.

Neji scanned the surrounding mile with his Byakugan. "I don't see Hiro, but I can pick up faint chakra trails that match his. He passed through here about a day and a half ago, tops."

"Which way was he headed?" asked Tenten.

The Hyuuga genius blinked, as if unsure of his findings. "It looks like......he arced towards River Country, but then he.......he's headed for Ame."

Naruto heard Ame and freaked. "That's where Pain is! He'll kill Hiro-chan! We have to move! NOW!" His voice got the combined tone of a hardened ANBU captain and a hysterical mother. "Shino, send a message to Sasuke! Tell him where we're going. Hurry!"

The bug boy complied, painting a message on a tree with sap and making his bugs take the message while Naruto forged on ahead. _Hang on, Hiro-chan! _the blond thought, pouring on more speed. _Papa's coming!_

********

**Meanwhile, somewhere on the border of Waterfall Country....**

The little squirrel-boy tripped over a tree root and went down, choking on spit and his own breath. "Did we lose them?" he coughed out, rolling onto his back.

Several thumps answered him; the rest of the children had likewise dropped to the ground, but unlike Hiro, they hadn't tripped. Gasping for air, they lay like beached whales while Kaname and Daisuke, the only ones not breathing hard, went as high airborne as they could with their fatigue and checked the surroundings.

"Nothing," said Daisuke, not bothering to land gracefully and just collapsed in a heap. "We lost them." Her extra tail tucked itself around her waist and disappeared, leaving her with one tail like before.

Kaname likewise dropped unceremoniously from the sky, wings folding against his back. "Oh god, never wanna do that again. Warn a guy next time you guys bug out like that, won't ya?"

"Sorry," gasped out Tsukasa. "Circumstances made it necessary to run without warning."

Hanika stared at the two newcomers. The ginger cat boy was wiping mud off his freckled face, casting glances at the still-unconscious cat girl. "Hikari? Hikari, are you okay?" he kept asking, concerned when she didn't stir. "Hikari?"

Tomoya, his fur plastered with mud and leaves, crept over towards Hikari. "Is she alive?"

Tsukasa came over, more hesitantly, since the bird part of him was wary of the cats. He gently touched Hikari's neck, feeling for a pulse. "She's alive, just unconscious. She must've hit her head." As Tomoya reached to touch her, Tsukasa reflexively slapped his hand away. "Nothing your brand of assistance can help with."

"Hentai tanuki," grumbled Daisuke.

"What were you running from?" Tomoya asked, rubbing his stinging knuckles.

"The tall-humans! They ransacked the village we lived in," said the ginger cat boy. His ears lay back flat against his skull as his green eyes widened. "We only barely got away. Who are you anyway?"

"We're.....just like you," said Hanika, bouncing forward a little. "Fur-children. I'm Hanika, and that's Tomoya, Tsukasa, and Hiro. The fox-girl is Daisuke, and the bat-boy is Kaname."

"I'm Hikaru, and that's my twin sister Hikari," said the ginger cat boy. "We're from a village near Kusagakure." His ears drooped again. "At least, we were."

A cough from Hikari drew everyone's attention back to her. She shook her head, tossing back black hair streaked with silver-white stripes, like a reverse Siberian tiger. Opening golden eyes, the girl sat up and, seeing so many unfamiliar faces, bounced on her feet and raced behind her brother's back. "Who are they, Hikaru?" she asked, scared.

"Friends.....I think." Hikaru's pupils, slit like a cat's, suddenly slimmed into sharp black lines. "You are friends, right?" Both cat children's tails ruffled like bottlebrushes, fur standing straight up.

"Sure we are," Hiro said cheerily. "Here, a handshake. Handshakes are friendly, right?" He stuck out his hand. After a second or two of staring, Hikaru shook it. "There. Now we're really friends!"

"YAY!!! MORE FRIENDS!!"

Every one of the children jumped as a smaller child suddenly jumped from the trees in front of them. Curly orange-brown hair bounced like corkscrew springs as the child backflipped from a tree and did a handstand, looking at the others upside-down with big orange eyes. A long prehensile tail wriggled into view, holding a peeled banana down to the kid's mouth for him to chew on. His clothes were much like Hiro's, with a fur shirt, shorts, and furry boots that tied up to his knees. All were colored the same orange-brown as his hair.

"Saru-chan!*" shouted Hiro, highly amused.

"Hi! I'm Shippo!" said the newcomer. "Welcome to Taki! Why're you all upside-down?"

Hikaru blinked. "Because you're upside-down?"

"Am I? Oh, wow! Cool!" cried Shippo, looking around as he walked on his hands. "So, where are you heading?"

"Konohagakure. Do you know where it is?" asked Hiro. "Can you take us there?"

Shippo flipped back onto his feet. "No!" To which everyone did an anime fall. "But I know someone who can! I know an Inu-chan** who lives near the Valley of the End. I can get you to the Valley of the End, and she can get you to Konoha!"

"I know where that is! Papa and Tou-chan talk about their big fight there," Hiro informed the other children.

Hikaru and Hikari looked at Shippo. "How long will it take to get there?" they asked in unison.

Shippo tapped his chin, thinking hard. "Two, three days. But we'll need to go north first." To punctuate the fact he pointed north towards Takigakure. When some of the children began questioning him he added, "We'll need to forage for food before we go. Nothing near Oto (Sound) Country is edible, thanks to the poisons of the evil snake-man."

Tsukasa and Hanika shuddered; neither liked snakes at all. Hiro, however, shuddered for a whole different reason. "Papa and Tou-chan said the evil snake-man's name is Orochimaru, and he's a bad person. He tore Papa and Tou-chan apart. He gave Tou-chan a..........a mark on his neck." He'd seen the mark on his Tou-chan's neck when the latter had attempted to cover it up. Hiro had also seen the look that passed across his Papa's face - a look of sadness - whenever Papa saw the mark too.

Shippo nodded. "The evil snake-man has a scary snake-child too. I've heard rumors."

"Sn-sn-sn-snake child?" trembled Hanika, bringing her hands to her mouth in fear. "W-w-w-what d'you m-m-m-mean?"

The little monkey boy shuddered. "They say she's got long black hair and big slit eyes that can paralyze you, and she uses huge swords made from crystal, and that from the waist up she's a kid, but waist down, she's a snake!" He clapped his hands together and made his entire body slither while hissing, further freaking the bunny-girl out.

Kaname and Daisuke crossed their arms in thought. "Is there any way to pass Oto without incurring the wrath of the snake-child?" asked Kaname.

But before Shippo could reply, there was a loud growling sound. In seconds, there were several playing a three-part harmony. The fur-children rubbed their tummies, remembering that they had had little to eat the previous few days. Grinning sheepishly, Tsukasa asked what every other child was too embarrassed to ask. "Shippo, do you have any food now?"

A question soon answered when the monkey boy brought the little band to a hut filled with his own personal stash. Mostly bananas, but nobody was complaining.

When everyone was full and satisfied, groups were made to search for other food groups. Hiro judged, from their merry little band, that they would need meat for the carnivorous children and berries for the rest. But, he admitted, not as much as normal children.

"Why do you say that?" asked Daisuke.

The squirrel gave her a look of _Why do you think?_ "Because obviously Hanika, Kaname, you and me can make our own food. Chi!" And an acorn fell into his hand, which he cracked open and ate. "So can Shippo, right?"

"Right!" chirped Shippo. "Boing!" he added, pulling a banana out of thin air with his tail. Peeling it, he smashed the entire thing in his mouth and held the peel in his tail. "Food and weapon, all in one," he said, tossing the peel on the ground.

Tomoya had to ask. "How?"

In answer, Kaname and Tsukasa snuck up behind the tanuki boy and pushed. Tomoya stumbled forward, stepped on the banana peel, and went sliding along the floor until he hit a wall, provoking giggles from Hanika and the cat twins. Even Daisuke cracked a smile at Tomoya's unplanned trip.

"Okay then," Hiro said, gaining control of the situation again. "Let's get our stuff together. In one day, we move out!"

"Okay!" came eight other voices in agreement.

********

**On the other side of Konoha, at the seashore, the next day......**

Sasuke dunked his head in the crashing surf, rinsing out the caked-in mud and grime from the last four days. Waves pummelled his body, trying to force him down, but he steeled himself on his hands and knees. He was tired, overheated, and spent. This cold salty seawater helped him calm down and think.

The trail had gone cold. Apparently they had overshot Hiro's range and kept going east, until they hit the sea. Shino's bugs had arrived only moments ago, claiming that Naruto's group had found Hiro's trail, a fresh one.

Now, all Sasuke wanted was to rendezvous with the others and find his son.

A cool hand touched his back gently. He turned to see Hinata looking at him with concern in her eyes and a smile on her lips. "Don't worry Sasuke, we'll find him," she said. "Hiro's very brave and very resourceful, just like his fathers. I'm sure he's doing just fine."

And Sasuke knew she was right. After all, Hiro had come to Konohagakure with survival skills that rivaled that of trained jonin. He had heightened senses thanks to his squirrel-ness, a quick ability to adapt and improvise, and coupled with his developing ninja skills, he was a regular little one-boy army. The child could defend and provide for himself for a good while.

But that wasn't the reason Sasuke wanted to find him quickly. According to Shino's message, the trail arced along Konoha's borders towards Ame. And, if Hiro remembered his history (a faint hope) and avoided the country, the next hostile place would be Oto.

Where Orochimaru, still at large, was last reported to be lurking.

Unconsciously Sasuke cupped his hand around the dark curse mark, partially hidden under his shirt collar. Rubbing the skin, he could still feel the tainted chakra, lying dormant thanks to the special seal around it, devised by Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Tsunade. But it was still there, lying in wait for a moment when Sasuke's defenses were weakened.

It was the reason that, whenever those lovely blue eyes saw it, Naruto would have such a sad face that he had to pretend extra-hard that nothing was wrong.

Sasuke never wanted to let Hiro have the same curse upon him.

He stood up, shaking his head to shed the water soaked in it. "Let's move out," he ordered his group, heading back towards Konoha. "Kiba, you and Akamaru keep your noses to the ground and in the air. You catch even a faint whiff in a crosswind, I want to be the first to know."

"You got it," Kiba said, getting back on Akamaru's back. But he caught the twinge of pain Sasuke had before they headed out. _I hope he's okay. The last thing we need is a psycho Sasuke drunk on evil chakra._

********

**Back to Hiro's band.....**

Hiro shouldered his pack, which was now getting muddy and torn, stuffed full of berries and roots and a little bit of everything else the group had scavanged in the last day. Kaname and Daisuke had commandeered the majority of the meat that they had gotten (no one else wanted to carry it, being vegetarians) while Tsukasa's bag was filled with all kinds of seeds.

"Are we ready now?" asked Tomoya. "I mean, should we get going?"

Daisuke's ears flicked as the wind changed. "We should. I can smell tall-humans coming. And they don't smell friendly."

"All right then!" Hiro took to the front of the group, pointing eastward. "Fur Fighters, let's move out!"

No one asked about the name until the smell of tall-humans was a distant memory. Then Hikaru had to ask, "What was that name?"

Hiro paused in the middle of his story. "You mean the name Papa called the scarred-man who bossed around Tsuna-baba***? The b - "

"No no no, he meant that whole 'Fur Fighters' thing," clarified Hikari. "Why did you call us that?"

The little squirrel-boy crossed his arms and smiled, looking much like his blond father did whenever he was smug about something. "Well, we're all fighters, and most of us have fur on us, so we're the Fur Fighters! Duh!"

"That's so simple it's stupid!" yelled Kaname.

"I think it's cute," Hanika said, smiling.

"Hold up!" Tsukasa's command cut through the goofing around. Everyone saw the boy's white wings fold tightly against his head, trembling slightly. "I think we should reconsider our choice of direction, guys. I hear someone coming. A lot of someones."

"Shippo, is there anywhere we can hide?" asked Hiro.

The monkey glanced around before pointing for the trees. Moving quickly, the children scaled the tall trunks and hid themselves in the foliage. The only one who had a problem with it was Hanika, who had a fear of heights previously unseen. However, when the humans came closer, she stifled all protests and huddled in on herself.

Daisuke, having the best hearing of the group, twitched her ears as she listened in on the conversation. One of the group sighed as he spat into the grass. "Why are we even doing this? Nobody's stupid enough to attempt an invasion of Oto. Lord Orochimaru's infamy has discouraged all idiots."

"Which is exactly why Lord Orochimaru wants us to do these patrols," replied another guy. "Some idiots are stupid enough to try and infiltrate Oto. He doesn't want anyone going in or out."

"I thought he had that Hebi**** to be his personal watchdog," remarked the first guy.

"True, but not even the Hebi can get all the intruders. She's still just a kid." One of them scratched his head. "I still can't believe it's only been sixteen months since Lord Orochimaru first found that weird little snake-baby...."

_Snake baby? Sixteen months? _thought Hiro. _Then she'd be the same age as me. Another fur-child......serves the pervy snake-man? Why?_

"Dammit," hissed Kaname. "How could that happen? If she's one of us...."

The confusion became firm resolve. _He must've used a brainwashing jutsu to make her serve him. We have to save her. We must._

The patrollers headed out, allowing the Fur Fighters to shimmy down the tree and resume their journey. Once they made sure no one was following them, they kept going, being extra careful to cover their tracks and mask their scent.

But the story of the Hebi had plenty scared them. Even Kaname and Daisuke, themselves predetors, were skittish and jumpy. The kitsune even started violently when cicaidas began chirping, her fur standing on end. "How soon can we put this creepy place behind us?" she snapped, agitated.

"The Inu-chan should be close by; she makes her den about halfway to the Valley of the End." Shippo glanced around nervously. "If we're lucky and the Hebi doesn't come close, we can come across Mei and she can lead us to the Valley of the End. She knows all the hiding places from here to there."

Hiro stood up. "We should see if we can talk to the Hebi-chan. She sounds like one of us."

"He has a point," said Tsukasa. "She's obviously one of the Snake clan, even though I've never heard of one being half-snake at such a young age.....nevertheless, she could be."

"Could be what?" Hanika asked, tilting her head in confusion.

"You do know why we exist here, right?" Hikaru threw another log on the fire, ears laid back. "Why we don't look or act like other humans? Where we come from, our families?"

Hiro shook his head. "I was found when I was a few months old. Papa and Tou-chan are my family."

"I've been alone for as long as I can remember," said Hanika.

Shippo voiced agreement with her, as did Tomoya. "But I learned why from Kaname and Tsukasa," added the tanuki boy.

"Care to enlighten us?" asked Daisuke irritably, cleaning her tail by dragging her teeth through the caramel fur. "Or is it an exclusive know?"

"It's not an exclusive know. At least, it shouldn't be." Tsukasa's wings ruffled, then folded against the side of his head. "See, there's a reason why we age faster than other humans, why we have certain parts that others don't, why we look and act and are the way we are." He closed his eyes, breathing slowly, as if steeling himself for what was about to come out of his mouth. "It's because we're - not from this world. Not this dimension, anyway. And we're here for a purpose."

Hiro leaned forward, his ears pricked. _Now I'll learn everything. Now I'll have answers._

* * *

**Cliffhanger!! Sry it takes so long to update, I have to communicate w/ my co-author...**

**Red: Author-chan, c'mon, you can come up with good stuff yourself!**

**Me: Yeah, Muse-chan, but together, WE can do impossible things in the world of _Naruto_!**

**SO KEEP READING AND STAY CLOSE! ANOTHER CHAPTER WILL HOPEFULLY BE UP SOON!!**

**A.N.**

* - Saru means monkey.

** - Inu is dog.

*** - Tsuna-baba is Tsunade.

**** - Hebi means snake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Home Never Felt So Good!**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: _Naruto_ does not belong to us.**

**Red: But it would be amazamifying! o/_\0**

**DemonClowSorceress: Muse-chan, control yourself! You'll scare the readers....**

**Red: In the name of Jade (TotA) I shall never do the soing that you say I should do! What would become of Hiro-chan!?!**

* * *

Tsukasa's story was pretty simple, yet very convoluted. Hiro listened as he spun a tale of alternate worlds much like those of summoned creatures, where their respective clans lived in peace and harmony along with the real world (Author's Note: Ugh, hate it that there's no name for the Naruto-universe). Then Tsukasa said something about "the twelve" which completely went over everyone's head including the bird boy's. And finally, he mentioned there being more fur-children somewhere in the real world via the same way they had all gotten here.

"If only we could remember," remarked Daisuke sarcastically, still cleaning her tail with her teeth.

"Well, it's sorta like the zodiac, but with different animals," Tsukasa said in a hopefully helpful tone. "All I know is that we're supposed to be here for some reason."

Hanika leaned forward, her white rabbit's ears twitching excitedly. "So, we have parents somewhere? We're not orphans?"

"Well, they did abandon us - OW!" Tomoya yelled, wincing away from Kaname's sharp elbow. "Well it's true - OW! Knock it off!"

Hikaru and Hikari were busy purring, rubbing their heads together, happy as clams. Shippo clapped hands with Hiro, who was still reeling from the idea that maybe, just maybe, he had real parents. _There are others who care about me as much as Papa and Tou-chan do?_

_OMG, PAPA AND TOU-CHAN!!!!!!_

"You guys, we're wasting time!" yelled Hiro as he jumped to his feet, startling every other child. "I have to get back to Konohagakure! Papa and Tou-chan must be worried sick! I've never been away from home this long before! Saru-chan, how far away from the Valley of the End are we?"

Shippo counted as he licked mashed banana off his fingers. "One, two, three.......Inu-chan lives on the edge of the Valley. We should find her tomorrow."

"Why are you going to Konohagakure?" asked Hikari. Tsukasa proceeded to fill her and Hikaru and Shippo in on the circumstances. Hanika was still on the fact that she could have parents and was busy comparing the best parental qualities with Tomoya, who was for once not thinking of acting like a lech. Shippo amused himself with a banana peel while Hiro tried to remember his Papa and Tou-chan's faces, which he was having difficulty doing at the moment.

Kaname and Daisuke, after pushing past each other to get farther apart, suddenly tensed up and sank into poses - Daisuke crouched on all fours like a predator while Kaname's wings extended slightly, trembling a little. Her nose twitched as the wind changed. His mouth opened to release an almost inaudible squeak of echolocation, finding out what lay beyond what his excellent night vision saw. The other children saw this change and likewise froze, waiting.

"What is it?" asked Tsukasa.

Kaname frowned, cocking his head in confusion. Again he sent out a soundwave, listening hard. When it came back he blinked. "I can hear someone - or something - but it knows I can too. It keeps jumping behind stuff whenever I try to pin it down. Like it can hear my echolocation....."

"Oh, it must be Inu-chan!" said Shippo, bouncing over. He cupped his hands and shouted, "INU-CHAN! IT'S SHIPPO! C'MON OVER, THE FOOD'S GREAT!!"

His cry echoed in the night, startling the rest of the Fur Fighters. Daisuke and Kaname kept watchful eyes and ears on the perimeter as a small form detatched from the darkness and stalked closer, more cautious than hostile.

This fur-child had worse scraps of clothes than even a beggar, barely enough to cover herself. Her hair was between long and short, never even, and filled with brambles. She was thin and scrawny in an underfed way, and her long ears drooped with weariness. A fluffy black tail likewise hung low. Saliva dripped from her mouth; she looked at the food with a gleam of burning hunger.

Shippo beckoned her closer. "C'mon Inu-chan, come on. They won't hurt you. We're all the same." He held out a piece of meat, cooked and dripping with juices. "Here. Are you hungry?"

She jumped, grabbed the food, and scarfed it down. Hikari blinked. "I think she is. Really hungry."

"What's your name?" Hiro asked.

The dog girl, having finished her meat, licked her lips happily and wagged her tail. "Mei. My name's Mei." Big brown eyes looked at the odd assortment of children. "Who are all of you? Are you friends of Shippo?"

Introductions were quickly given as the fur-children settled in for the night. Hiro watched as each child drifted to sleep in his or her own fashion and company. Kaname, alone and hanging from a ledge by his knees, wings wrapped around his body like a blanket. Tsukasa, sitting on a different ledge by the cave entrance like a canary, his small wings folded in to cover his face. Daisuke and Mei, sharing a canine bond, curled up beside each other, their tails over their faces. The cat twins likewise, but on the other side of the cave. Hanika, hunched inward, her ears twitching even in sleep. Tomoya, snoring gently as he sprawled over a rock, belly up. Shippo, sleeping the most normal of all, holding his tail like a child holds a teddy bear, sucking his thumb.

Suddenly he felt eyes watching him. Whirling around, he saw the flash of gold in bushes and was instantly wary. The tale of Orochimaru's Hebi were still fresh in his mind, and his own squirrel instincts were telling him that snakes were not a good idea to go up against alone.

"Are you the snake-man's Hebi?" asked the little boy to the eyes cautiously. They blinked slowly, then moved from side to side. Hiro refused to relax, though. "Then who are you?"

But the eyes blinked shut and disappeared, leaving Hiro with the feeling that he'd seen something he wasn't supposed to.

The next day the band of Fur Fighters roused themselves early and made themselves presentable. Mei had said that Konohagakure was only a few hours away from their current location, and none of the other children wanted to make a bad impression. The girls made hair, clothes, and faces a cleaning priority, while the boys made sure they didn't look too hideous (though Hikaru and Hikari balked at washing with water). Daisuke, in a rare form of sharing, unearthed some hair ribbons and a new set of clothes for Mei, cleaning up the dog girl til she looked like a showdog instead of a stray.

When the prettying was done, Hiro took his place at the head. Inhaling the familiar scent of the forest, he pointed south. "Let's go, Fur Fighters!"

They made good time, frolicking through the forest like they had no care in the world. Most of the children had lived hidden lives, avoiding people and the freeness of a normal childhood. This was a rare opportunity to run, skip, laugh, and be themselves without a care and no chance of being judged. Hiro saw them more happy and carefree in those few hours then he'd seen them be in all their short acquaintence.

Soon Hiro began recognizing parts of the forest. His nose smelled the village's unique smells of people, food, and chakra. "This way!" he crowed, running towards the smells. His ears soon picked up voices - voices he knew. "We're close! We're really really close!"

********

Well, they were close. Just not to Konohagakure. Apparently they came out a town early, which explained the people and food smells. The chakra smell, however, was something totally different.

The chakra smell took Hiro and Company through the town. Normally they'd avoid it; chakra of that magnitude meant serious ninjas. But they followed it anyway on the scant chance that it was one of Hiro's nii-chans or nee-chans. They made a strange sight - Daisuke and Mei at the head, noses in the air and sniffing quickly, while Hikari and Hikaru's eyes darted from side to side, pegging down everyone that moved. And, of course, the fur they wore was an eye-catcher as well.

It was almost sundown when Hiro's ears caught the sounds of an arguement. It was coming in the same general direction of the chakra, so the group quickly scampered over and peeked around a corner on top of each other to see what was going on.

Two men were crowding a woman. Standard.

The woman was a knockout beauty. Definitely not sold short in the T&A departments. She wore her kimono like she knew it too; it sloped over her breasts and the hem ended only two inches below her butt. She also wore high-heel sandals like Shizune-nee-chan and Tsuna-baba did. Standard.

The men smelled like sake. Standard. Every child's sensitive nose wrinkled in disgust.

The woman wasn't intimidated. On the contrary, she was being extremely sarcastic and rude.

Definitely not standard.

"Look, why don't the two of you poorly-evolved primates go pester some other female of your intelligence level?" she snapped at them, her hand on her hip as she tossed blue treeses over her shoulder. Angry ice-colored eyes stared daggers at the men. "I'm very busy right now, unlike you intoxicated excuses for higher mammals."

The others were moving on, but Hiro found her style of speech oddly interesting. It was like she was older than she appeared to be. Much like Tsuna-baba did, except this lady spoke like she'd been around for _centuries._

One of the men, however, apparently found her insulting. He grabbed her arm roughly and made to smack her. But before his hand struck, her other hand pressed against against his chest, fingers splayed over his heart.

And he went _flying backwards_, crashing into the storefront across the street. The noise brought other people running, including the Fur Fighters who had left Hiro behind. They clustered around their fearless leader, who pointed to the blue-haired bombshell and whispered, "She's the chakra."

"Who _is_ she?" whispered Tomoyo with hero worship in his eyes as he looked up and down the woman like she was made of candy.

By this time the other man had left to help his fallen comrade. The woman paused to look up and down the street as if searching for a way out, but with people coming from all sides in a crushing crowd, instantaneous escape seemed unlikely.

Hiro suddenly bolted to the woman's side. Standing in front of her, he raised his arm above his head, he threw his last smoke bomb down to blind the people approaching them. "Come with me, Aoi-san!*" he said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her along. "Fur Fighters, flee the scene!" he yelled at the other children.

Once they were outside the town, gasping for air and grasping stitches in their sides, Kaname found the breath to snap, "And why the hell did you bring her along, pray tell?!" pointing at the blue-haired woman. "Are you _trying_ to get us caught and killed? Or are you just stupid?!"

"Is that a trick question?" asked Daisuke, collapsing on the ground in exhaustion.

"But Aoi-san was in trouble!" whined Hiro, defending his choice the only way he knew how - honestly. "She would have gotten in trouble for breaking the store!"

"Meh, who gives a crap?" said Hikaru, stretching lazily. His ginger tail twitching side to side in annoyance. "The better thing to wonder about is how to get to Konoha. Are we close?"

Hiro grinned sheepishly, sweatdropping. "Yeah......we went a little too far. It's the next village over......"

_This kid will drive us all crazy,_ thought every Fur Fighter as Hiro rubbed his head with his tail.

"Excuse me." Aoi-san came forward and knelt to the children's eye level. "I appreciate your assistance, but I was perfectly capable of dealing with the situation at hand on my own."

Kaname snorted, "Pfft. Yeah right."

"Are you all right then, Aoi-san?" Tsukasa asked, rubbing his hand while the bat boy lay unconscious on the ground with a smoking chop indentation in his head. "Would you like us to escort you somewhere?"

She looked at every child intently before resting her eyes on Hiro. Ice-blue irises shifted to a golden hue as they widened in shock. "You.....are you possibly Uzuha Hiro from Konohagakure, son of Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke?"

_She knows Papa and Tou-chan!? _"You know my Papa and Tou-chan?!" he repeated aloud, surprised and pleased.

She tilted her head. "I know they have been searching this land for you. They are quite - "

POOF! A cloud of smoke suddenly surrounded Aoi-san, causing the Fur Fighters to choke and cough. When it cleared, in Aoi-san's place there stood a small girl the same size and relative age of the Fur Fighters. She was dressed in a Chinese-style kenpo suit that was one size larger than skin-tight, colored black and red with a red dragon design on the back. Her shoes were traditional black slippers and her hair was half up, half down, the loose hair falling to the small of her back.

The Fur Fighters stared shamelessly and Hiro suddenly had a thought that he voiced, quite loudly, "Hey! Can you take us back to Konoha? Please Aoi-chan!"

"Kusaka," Aoi-chan said after a few moments of contemplation. The Fur Fighters just stared blankly at her so she clarified, "My name is Kusaka. And, yes, yeah, I'll take you guys back to Konoha. Follow me!"

"Okay Ryuu-chan!**" cried Hiro, falling into step behind her as Kusaka headed southwest. The rest of the Fur Fighters shrugged in unison and trailed after her.

********

The Konoha Twelve were exhausted. After combing Konoha for the past week, they still had no leads on Hiro's location. All the ninja, however, knew that their concern paled in comparison to that of Naruto and Sasuke.

Both patrols had compared notes and agreed; it was when the order to return had come that they had stopped talking. Naruto had become a morose individual, staring at the ground with a pathetically sad expression on his whiskered face. Sasuke, on the other hand, had simply become stone-faced, no expression whatsoever. Both had failed to utter a sound for the five hours it took to return to Konoha.

"I'm sorry we couldn't have been more help," said Gaara, walking alongside Sakura with his siblings. "But we checked all our checkpoints in Suna. He didn't come into the country." Both Kankuro and Temari added their own apologies.

"Thank you, Gaara." Sakura looked at her two teammates and felt terrible. "I'm sure they appreciate it too."

The young Kazekage thought hard for a second. "Maybe he's lying low. There was that random attack on the village in the west, he could've hid someplace until he felt safer to move...."

"He's been gone for a week." A flashback to when Sasuke had defected came back to her; she'd felt just as helpless then as she did now. Her eyes threatened to overflow with tears, but she kept them at bay. The last thing this sad atmosphere needed was her useless tears.

Akamaru suddenly stopped short. His nose sniffed the ground, then tilted up to test the breeze. He voiced an almost inaudible whine, questioning what his nose was telling his brain. Then his tail began to wag vigorously.

Surprisingly, it wasn't Kiba who noticed his partner's weird behavior first. "What is it, boy?" Hinata asked, scratching behind his ears. "What do you smell?"

"Arf! Arf!" barked the large dog, turning back to the forest and sitting his furry white butt down. He kept barking as if to say, "Look! Look over there! Look!"

So the Konoha Twelve began to turn around. Already they were thinking it was a random animal, or some passing fancy of Akamaru's nose that he wanted to share with them. He had his own ways of cheering people up.

Then a voice broke the silence. "PAPA! TOU-CHAN! PAPA!! TOU-CHAN!!"

Naruto and Sasuke spun around, dropping to their knees from pure reflex. Naruto threw his arms wide and caught the racing bullet of fur. The force knocked both fathers backwards as Hiro started hugging the living daylights out of them.

"Hiro-chan!" exclaimed all the Konoha Twelve, descending for a huge group hug. "Hiro-chan, you're back!"

After a couple minutes of hugging, kisses, and questions, Hiro finally popped out of his fathers', nii-chans' and nee-chans' embraces and skipped back towards the forest. "Papa, Tou-chan, I brought home friends! Can they stay?"

The Konoha chunin stopped their ecstatic rejoicing and stared. Like timid wild animals the rest of the Fur Fighters crept out from the forest's protection, eyes wide in caution. Even Kaname and Daisuke, easily the toughest ones of the group, were poised to fly and run, respectively. The only one indifferent to the stares was Kusaka, but this was not surprising.

Sakura came forward first, crouching down to their eye level. "Who are your friends, Hiro-chan?"

The squirrel jumped out of Naruto's arms and in front of the Fur Fighters. "This is Tenshi-chan, Usagi-chan, Inu-chan, Tanuki-chan, Akki-chan, twin Neko-chans, Saru-chan, Kitsune-chan, and Ryuu-chan! We're the Fur Fighters! They helped me find my way home. Can they stay?"

* * *

**A.N.**

*** - Aoi means blue, so Hiro calls her Miss Blue.**

**** - Ryuu is dragon.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: The Fur Fighters Enter Konohagakure!**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: _Naruto_ is not owned by us**

* * *

Naruto stared in shock at the ten children standing awkwardly in front of him. Each was dressed almost as bizarrely as Hiro, but none were squirrels; two looked to be cats, one looked like a rabbit, and one even had a raccoon suit on! The only normal-looking one was the blue-haired girl, but her strange black and red outfit kept her from the category.

"So they can stay, right Papa, Tou-chan? Please, please, please!" Hiro begged his fathers, garnering Naruto's full attention once again.

"Hiro-chan," he began, trying to figure out in his head how exactly this was going to work, "It's not really up to me if they can stay. I would love to have them all stay but Tou-chan and I have our hands full just looking after you."

"So does that mean that if my Nee-chans and Nii-chans say they'll help look after everyone that I can keep them?" Hiro responded immediately with big eyes.

"Hiro," started Sasuke, "they aren't pets. You can't _keep _them." At the first sign of tears from his son Sasuke quickly continued, "They can stay, if everyone agrees to help look after them."

Hiro turned towards all his Nii-chans and Nee-chans, his eyes in full on squirrel begging mode as he whined out adorably, "Pleease? They helped me out a lot and now I want to give them a place where they can feel safe."

Now on the spotlight, every member of the Konoha Twelve felt awkward. But Sai decided to speak up about a certain point that was confusing the hell out of him. "But, Hiro disappeared for over a week without any warning. I know I'm socially inept, but shouldn't he be properly disciplined?"

Hiro stamped his foot childishly. "Dammit, Sai-nii-chan, they were so close to saying yes! Why did you have to open your stupid yap?!"

"HEY!" Naruto yelled, dropping to Hiro's eye level. "You watch your mouth, young man!"

This caused two things to happen. First, it revealed Kiba for the first time, since he'd gone in front of the group to signal the men on watch that they were all right. This meant his back was to the rest of the group. This also meant that his scent, while downwind of the Fur Fighters, had been masked by Naruto's.

Which led to the second thing; Mei's sharp canine nose smelled something doglike. "DOOOOOOGGGGGGGGIEEEEEEEE!!" she screamed, using Naruto's head as a springboard and flying for Kiba's back.

Shino, who was standing in front of Kiba, heard the yell and turned just as the Inuzuka stumbled forward into his arms. While showing no outward display of emotion, his brain was churning with shock and delight. _Wait, he's being the aggressive one this time?! Happy day squeee!!_

"The hell is on me!?" yelled Kiba, squirming but making no attempt to push away from Shino. "I just got attacked! What is it?! I can't see!"

"It's an Onbaa!" called Naruto flatly.

This had the desired reaction. Horror was painted on Kiba's face as he started running around the Konoha group in a panic, arms waving and screaming at the top of his lungs, "OMFG, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT THE HELL OFFA ME!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! SHINO, HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yeah Bug Knight, go save your Puppy Princess," snickered Neji, elbowing the Aburame boy.

Shino sighed wearily (inside he was having the time of his life now that he finally got to save his boy) and extended his arm at stomach level. Kiba came running and instantly fell victim to the gut-level clothesline move, doubling over and giving everyone present a view of Mei latched firmly on the back of his jacket.

"GET THE FRIGGIN' ONBAA OFFA ME!! SAVE ME, SHINO!!!!!" sobbed Kiba (in Shino's mind) adorably.

"Calm down, it's not an Onbaa," said Shino patiently, sounding bored. He examined Mei, who was rubbing her cheek against Kiba's back and whimpering in delight. "It's a dog girl. Literally."

That calmed Kiba down considerably. He went limp for a second, then stood up. "Fine, just get her off." So Shino proceeded to grab Mei's sides and pull. For three whole minutes. During which time she never loosened her grip on Kiba's jacket.

"Here, lemme help," sighed Neji, taking one of Mei's legs while Shino grabbed the other one.

"I'll lend a hand," Shikamaru added, "even though it's troublesome."

"Me too," added Sasuke. So the four genius boys lined up; Sasuke and Neji pulling one leg, Shikamaru and Shino pulling the other, with Kiba being pulled by Lee. Each boy held on tightly and made ready to yank with all their strength.

Gaara sidled up beside Naruto, watching with pale green eyes. "You're not helping out?" Naruto asked in a state-the-obvious tone.

"No." The young Kazekage watched as the signal was given and Lee (who is considerably stronger than the other four genius boys) pulled Kiba in one direction while Neji, Sasuke, Shino, and Shikamaru pulled Mei in the opposite direction. After a few seconds of nothing, Gaara spoke again. "They're not gonna get her off, are they?"

"Nope."

He looked sidelong at Naruto without moving his head. "But you already knew that before they started."

"Yeeeee-up."

"You're just waiting for them to fail, aren't you?"

"Mm-hm."

"At which point you'll tell them off."

Naruto finally looked at Gaara and smiled an evil fox grin. "You know me so well," he snickered.

Gaara returned with his old psycho grin. "And you wonder why."

A yell brought their attention back to the human tug-of-war. They looked back just in time to see Shino and Neji lose their grips on Mei's legs, causing the four genius boys to fall backwards on thier butts. Adversely, this made Lee fall flat on his butt as well. Kiba, however, utilizing his highly superior canine reflexes, landed on all fours. Mei remained stuck on his back like a hungry leech.

Gaara chuckled to himself as Naruto stride over to the gasping, wheezing genius boys, lean over with his hands on his hips, and proceed to loudly proclaim their failure to whoever and whatever was in the vicinity of his voice. And as we all know, that's a pretty wide area.

"Oh. My. Ramen Gods! FAIL! It takes four geniuses to pull a child off a guy's back? Really? NO! It just takes that many to FAIL! And you have the ego to call yourselves GENIUSES? Talk about EPIC FAIL PEOPLE!! OH MY RAMEN GODS! You guys got PWNED by a CHILD! Granted, she is a dog child, but STILL! EPIC PWNAGE!! What is WRONG with you guys? GIFTED? Gifted with what?"

"Stupidity?" Gaara chipped in, trying to wrap up the verbal abuse before it really got going.

Naruto pointed at him. "YES! Thank you." He returned to the other boys. "You guys got told." He made the peace sign with both hands, sideways. "Word."

Gaara sighed as he facepalmed. "You've been watching gangster-rapper movies again, haven't you?"

Shifty blue eyes looked everywhere but at him. "Maaaaaay-be?"

Lee, meanwhile, was examining Mei. The dog girl had seen his obnoxiously green spandex suit coming and was on the lookout, eyes hidden under brown hair.

"My, what strong muscles this child has!" Lee exclaimed, prodding her shoulder with his index finger.

CHOMP!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! GAI-SENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"

"She bit him, didn't she?" Tenten asked Sakura, not bothering to look as Lee continued to scream for his Gai-sensei. The pink nodded. "That moron."

"Get her off, get her off! I'm losing my life blood to a psycho puppy girl!" Lee cried, falling to his knees with his finger still trapped in Mei's teeth. "Please, get her offa me. I need my finger for morning one-finger pushups tomorrow."

Tenten sighed heavily and went up to Mei, who was still stubbornly hanging onto both Kiba and Lee. "I'm sorry," she said, bending down to the dog girl with a smile, "he's the stupid one of our merry little group. Would you please let his finger go?"

Mei made no move or sound to comply. Tenten's face and tone never changed, but suddenly the surrounding air became a mass of purple aura fire that vaguely resembled the flames of hell. "Let. Go. Now. _Please_."

The dog girl's jaw dropped immediately. Lee quickly scurried away and examined the deep teeth marks. "Oh my, it's bleeding so much!"

_Now why didn't I think of that? _Shino berated himself. Authoritatively he snapped his fingers at Mei. "Okay girl, get off the jacket." Big brown eyes blinked once, twice, but she never moved. His voice got harder. "Down, dog girl." She still remained where she was, so Shino had to adapt a voice that promised the coming of doom. "_I said release your claws and get off the dog boy's back, now._"

That made her get off. Shino snapped his fingers. "Sit. Stay."

And she did - _as did Kiba_. Both just plopped their butts to the ground, hands and legs relaxed and in front of them. Both pairs of eyes locked onto Shino awaiting orders.

Needless to say, he was taken aback. _Well that was an unexpected turn of events. _"Um.....speak?" he tried.

"Arf! Arf!" barked both Kiba and Mei. Mei's black tail wagged.

"WHOA! SOOOO COOOOL!!!" Naruto said, jumping up and down. "Me now! Roll - "

"Naruto, no!" Sasuke snapped quickly before he could finish the command. The blond's head dropped in disappointment.

Kiba looked at Mei in surprise. "Whoa, that was weird." And, suddenly mad, he looked up at Shino. "Wait, why am I listening to you?!" Then he looked back at Mei. "Well, she is kinda cute," he admitted, ruffling her hair. She smiled happily as her tail became a blur of black. "Can we keep her, Shino?"

_Why the heck's he asking me? _"Kiba, she's not a pet," Shino replied. "She's a - a child. You're barely legal and can't even take care of yourself half the time."

"Can so!" Kiba snapped back, highly offended. "I take care of myself! Akamaru too - "

"Akamaru's not a pet. He's your partner; he takes care of himself anyway."

"And I know she's not a pet!" Kiba went on, pretending not to hear the interruption. "Mei will be good, won't you Mei?"

"Wan-wan, Inu-nii!*" Mei replied cutely. And then a bone materialized above Kiba's head to drop and smack his skull hard. He looked up and grinned, then gave it to the little dog girl to gnaw on.

Shino shook his head. "Kiba, no." Kiba looked up at him, eyes wide and shimmery in full puppy-dog pout, complete with trembling lower lip. Shino quickly looked away, a tiny blush barely visible behind his collar and glasses. "I said no!"

Strengthened by the Aburame's resiliance, the rest of the Konoha Twelve also rejected the idea of keeping the Fur Fighters. Pretty soon, only Naruto and Kiba remained adamant about letting the children stay. And Naruto still had some tricks up his sleeve; realizing he only had to convince Sasuke for the others to cave, he began unleashing the most devestating moves in his self-labeled "Seductive Uke Arsenal."

First, he ruffled his hair wildly, achieveing the necessary 'bed-head' look. Then he unzipped his jacket, revealing the Hokage necklace and his black undershirt, a tight tanktop. Flipping back his jacket to stick his hands in his pockets, he dropped his chin to his chest and looked up at Sasuke with what he hoped was an adorable pout. "Sasuke......?"

Of course Sasuke, being the closet perv, was viewing Naruto's antics in an entirely different light. Clamping down hard on the part of him that wanted to give in, he crossed his arms and snapped, "No!" before he lost it.

But this didn't deter Naruto. Instead he went into another pose; hands clasped behind his back, glancing at Sasuke over his shoulder like a schoolgirl. When that one failed, he tried another. And then another. And another. And another. All the while subtly closing the distance between him and Sasuke.

Gaara watched the blond's progress with a knowing smile on his face. _Watch out, Uchiha. You're gonna get hooked as sure as Shino's gay for Kiba. Because if you don't cave soon, not only is Naruto gonna make you nosebleed in public, but you're gonna get your ass kicked. _He crossed his arms and watched, amused beyond any descriptions.

Finally Naruto made his final approach. Arms wrapped around Sasuke's neck (standing on tiptoe so he could reach) he batted his big blue eyes adorably and asked in a voice of undeniable begging, "Please, Sasuke? Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase?"

Caught between a rock and a hard place, Sasuke grabbed Naruto's arms and shoved him away. "No!" he yelled, looking away so as not to see the rejection in Naruto's eyes. "They can't stay! We have enough problems with one; ten more would bring this place crashing down!"

_Oh crap, close-range begging didn't work? He's being stubborn today. _Naruto crossed his arms. _Damn. I'll have to take desperate measures. _He went into his mind and rapped on the bars of the Kyuubi no Yoko's cage. _Oy, wake up, you lazy fox!!_

A deep growl preceeded a sleepy, **What do you want?**

_I need your help,_ grumbled Naruto, not believeing what he was about to ask. _You know that, um........state........that I, uh, ask you to, uh, help me with sometimes? You know, um.......the one I never use except when, um, it's a last resort?_

This got the fox's full and undivided attention. One big red eye looked down at the fidgeting boy. **Yes? What about it? It's not nighttime yet, so you can't need it for - **

_HE WON'T LET ME KEEP HIRO-CHAN'S FRIENDS AND I NEED TO CONVINCE HIM TO LET THEM STAY!!!!! _Naruto burst out, reddening considerably.

**What about Sexy no Jutsu?**

_That doesn't work. It's Sasuke._

Understanding sarcasm dripped from the Kyuubi's voice. **Oh yeah. Right. So, you need _that._**

Naruto looked down and to the side. _Yes._

**How many people are out there? **asked the fox innocently.

_Enough to humiliate me for all time._

Silence. Then, **What's in it for me?**

_Are you fucking serious?! _Naruto yelled.

**No, that's Lupin's job.**

_Huh?_

**Nevermind. **Kyuubi had a short laugh. **But seriously, why should I help you now?**

_Well......there's a fox girl out here. Really cute with caramel-colored hair._

But surprisingly, this did not make Kyuubi happy. Rather, the fox seemed almost indifferent. Too indifferent. **Is that so.**

Naruto watched as the giant fox shifted in the cage, waiting with bated breath. A thought suddenly crossed his mind and he voiced it. _Hey, are you cramped in there?_

**My true self is too vast to be fully comprehended. This is merely one form of many,** replied Kyuubi in a lofty it's-above-your-mental-capacity-to-understand tone. Naruto's head tilted to the side in confusion, rolling his eyes. The fox sighed and replied, **No, I'm not cramped. And yes, I'll help you. But.......... **A dark tone of glee manifested in the demon's voice. **You have to do _that_.**

_OH DEAR RAMEN GODS OF LIFE!! NO!!_

**Do it, or persuade him otherwise.**

_Fuck!_

**You can do that too. I'm sure it will work just as well.**

_I'm not a goddamn exhibitionist, you stupid demon fox with voyeuristic habits!_

********

Meanwhile, on the outside......

Hiro's ear twitched as he listened to his father's stomach area. Then he went to the closest Fur Fighter, who happened to be Tsukasa. "We should all move back now."

"Why?" asked the bird child.

"I heard the static."

"Huh?"

"Trust me."

And because he did, Tsukasa got everyone to take a couple steps back. The Konoha Twelve didn't notice this, as they were too interested why a nonstop ball of energy like Naruto was now still as a statue. Sasuke was even considering letting his guard down, thinking the blond had come to grips with the truth.

_Suckers,_ Gaara thought, sensing the Kyuubi's chakra beginning to stir deep within Naruto's gut. _He's lulled them into a false sense of security. This is gonna be hilarious! Where's popcorn and soda when you need it?_

Then Naruto's arms rose from his sides. His index and pinky fingers raised on both hands, he brought them in to his chest, crossing at the wrists in front of his crystal. A bright red blush was beginning to appear on his cheeks while his eyes remained tightly closed.

_What the hell's he doing? _wondered the majority of the Konoha Twelve, not recognizing the pose, as an 'Oh shit' look passed over Sasuke's face.

Naruto suddenly flipped his wrists to frame his crystal. "Kitsune Love Prisim, Activate!"

All teenagers' cognitive functions ground to a halt in sheer disbelief. _WTF?!?!?!?!?!?_

Red chakra suddenly burst into flame around Naruto's body. Everyone stared in shock and confusion except for Sasuke, who quickly looked away because he _knew_ what was coming.

And then jaws dropped like flies as the fox boy proceeded to do an exotic transformation-sequence style dance with a surprising degree of flexibility. With every stunt, the onlookers' thoughts were drenched with shock and awe.

Gaara: _Wait, he just did a backbend. Did his head touch the ground? \:I_

Sakura: _No wonder Sasuke likes him better..... o.o_

Neji: _Holy crap, he's really flexible. I didn't think people could twist that way. OoO_

Hinata: _Oh my......Naruto's so.......oh my........ O//////O_

Shino: _I wonder if he could teach Kiba to do some of those moves....... $_$_

Ino: _Damn, Sasuke's lucky!! ;)_

Shikamaru: _.........Holy...........snap........ O.O_

Choji: _I'm hungry. Wonder when we're going to eat? :Q_

Kiba: _WOW O.o_

Sai: _Wow, just think if his clothes were tighter..... *blink blink*_

Lee: _My! He must train extensively to achieve that kind of movement!_

Tenten suddenly bonked him over the head. Lee held his skull in pain. "What? I didn't say anything!"

"You were thinking it," she replied, "so same difference."

Then the dance suddenly ended as Naruto stood straight up and brought his hands over his eyes slowly. When they passed over his eyes, he opened them to reveal fox-slit pupils in blue irises. When he dropped his hands, two large orange-red fox ears wriggled under his red-streaked gold hair. A long, fluffy, orange, white-tipped fox tail lashed gently at the boy's waist.

Gaara could barely contain his laughter. The Fur Fighters applauded quietly.

"So, Sasuke;" And everyone listening could not believe the amount of seduction that laced those two words. "So, Sasuke, can they stay?"

Of course Sasuke found it extremely hot when innocent-seductive Naruto went full-on seductive on him. But he steadfastly held his ground and never looked towards Naruto. "I said no!"

Naruto sighed. Bringing up an arm, he made a sweeping motion as if throwing back a cape. Another fox tail rolled out into existance, shocking everybody once again. Daisuke whispered, "I knew it. It is him," but when Kaname asked her to repeat her words, she quickly denied saying anything.

"Let's try this again," Naruto said, even more persuasive than before; an aspect of the fox tails. "Sasuke, can't the children stay here?"

"What part of no does not penetrate your thick skull, baka kitsune!" shouted Sasuke in a muffled voice, his hand trying to keep at bay the massive nosebleed on the way.

_All right, enough of this bullsh*t. _Naruto repeated the sweeping motion violently. The remaining seven tails instantly appeared, for a grand total of nine and ultimate power in virtally all aspects of his game. "Sasuke - "

Sasuke almost caved, he almost did. Certainly when he felt the furry tails start wrapping around him in inappropriate ways. But he gave a last shout of rejection. "NO MEANS NO, GODDAMMIT!"

So Naruto gave up. "You bastard! Ya know what? Fuck you! They're staying!!" And he pulled back a fist and socked Sasuke clean in the face. All nine tails made an impressive fan at his back as he stood over the unconscious Uchiha with his arms crossed. "Dattebayo, bitch."

In the silence that followed Hiro pointed to his Tou-chan, announced, "Tou-chan got OWNED!" and mimicked his Papa's earlier gangster sign. "Word."

Gaara couldn't contain his laughter any longer. He doubled over and cracked up to the amazement of all Konoha ninja present save Naruto, who joined in after a couple seconds. When they regained use of their lungs Naruto turned to the others. "But seriously, can you guys help out? I'm sure you can take care of at least one kid."

Kiba then turned to Shino. "Can we keep Mei, Shino?"

Shino looked away, still adamantly against it. Leaving Kiba with no choice but to lean over and lick his cheek cutely. The blush on Shino's cheeks intensified until his face looked like a tomato with shades. "Fine, we can keep her."

"HA! I KNEW IT!" Naruto stuck a tail in Neji's face. "Pay up!" Cursing, the Hyuga boy pulled out some money and deposited it on the tail, which Naruto curled up and reeled in with glee. But the glee quickly faded when he caught side of Hinata with her hand out expectedly. "Crap," said Naruto, handing over his money. "How did you know?"

She gave a small smirk that looked very out of place on her face. "You don't think I know what goes on with my own teammates? Bitch, please."

With two down, the rest of the Konoha Twelve found themselves saddled with a child. Tsukasa stood beside Neji stoutly, while Hanika found a kindred soul in Hinata. Hikari and Hikaru sided with Lee and Tenten respectively. Tomoya first looked up Gaara (who thought for a second that the child could sense the Shukaku in him) before going over to bask in the love of Sakura and Ino, both of whom wanted to take him home (and neither knowing the truth behind his grin as they hugged him close to their.....bosoms.....) Shippo attatched himself to Sai, who looked very surprised that anything would pick him over another one of the ninja present. Kusaka, with a quick glance, sidled up beside an unaware Shikamaru.

Daisuke quickly went to Naruto's side, grabbing one of his tails. When the blond looked down, she released just as quickly. "Oh, sorry," she mumbled, red-faced. "My apologies."

"You wanna stay with Papa, Kitsune-chan?" asked Hiro, hopping into Naruto's arms happily.

The little girl twisted her own tail in her hands, not looking up at Naruto. This behavior was noticed by Kaname, who pretended to ignore it as he poked Sasuke's unconscious body with a stick for amusement. "Can I come too?" he asked boredly. "Ya know, just because."

"Sure!" chirped Hiro, always up for company. "Papa, Kitsune-chan and Akki-chan are going to stay with us, okay?"

"Of course!" Naruto smiled happily at his little son. "Just as soon as Tou-chan wakes up, we'll all have some dinner!"

* * *

**Naruto has watched too many gangster movies, I think.....**

**A.N.**

*** - Inu-nii: Literally 'Doggy big brother'**


	12. Omake Chapter 1

**Omake Chapter - DANCE PARTY!!!!**

**By DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: Every character, song, and/or reference in this story is not owned by us. We're only using it to bring you joy and laughs.**

* * *

It was a hot, muggy day in Konohagakure, when the very air seemed to drown people as they inhaled, that Hiro first had the idea.

"Hey~" he said to the other Fur Fighters. "You guys wanna throw a dance party?"

This statement was not met with much enthusiasm. Tomoya and Hanika were stretched out underneath a large shady tree, bellies up and exposed to cool down. Kaname's wings were fully extended and beating slowly, trying to blow air on Hikari, Hikaru, and Daisuke as they tried to stretch comfortably in what little shade was left. Tsukasa's white ear-wings were likewise extended and his head was tilted back. Mei panted heavily while Shippo squirmed uncomfortably in the heat. Only Kusaka looked utterly peaceful in the sweltering heat despite her black outfit and long hair.

"Too hot," moaned Hanika.

Tomoya jumped up. "Let's make dance videos instead!"

"Okay then!" Hiro jumped up and made a determined fist. "So, who here can operate a video camera?" Silence. "Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?"

"Who?" asked Hikari.

"Nevermind. Do we know anyone who can use a video camera?"

Kusaka rolled his eyes. "Your parents?"

So the group of children hoofed over to the training grounds where the Konoha Twelve and Sai were gathered. Hiro presented the video camera he'd gotten from his house. "Papa, Tou-chan, can you make this work? We wanna use it."

Naruto reached for the camera, but Sasuke quickly intercepted the machine and began examining it. When he didn't immediately get it, Shikamaru came over to help. Neji soon joined in, followed by Shino. Soon the genius boys were poking random buttons in an effort to turn the video camera on. Seconds became minutes. The Fur Fighters started to get antsy and fidget.

"Ya know what?!" Naruto yelled. He reached over, plucked the camera from Sasuke's hands, and slid his hand through the wrist handle. Flipping open the side screen, he pressed the EJECT button, inserted a tape, closed it, and pressed POWER. When the blue screen came up, he selected VIDEO, pressed the RECORD button and focused the camera on the gaping faces of Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji, and Shino.

There was a moment of stunned silence before the blond loudly declared in a deadpan voice, "SAY something."

When nobody responded, Sai directed the camera at himself. "This is a moment of epic win," he said to the camera. "Today, Naruto knew how to work a peice of highly sensitive complex equipment. And what adds more to the win was the fact that Sasuke, Shikamaru, Shino, and Neji had absolutely no idea how to work said complex peice of equipment." He gave a genuine smile that meant he was totally oblivious to the fact that the four geniuses getting ready to kill him. "I guess Naruto knows how to play with _his _toys."

Naruto handed the camera to Hiro as the four genius boys proceeded to kick the crap out of Sai. "Okay Hiro-chan, go have fun!" he said with a smile.

"But Papa, we need some more help!" replied the little squirrel, smiling innocently. The rest of the Fur Fighters sans Kusaka likewise smiled at their nii-chans and nee-chans with innocent fun. "We need all of you to help us!"

Kusaka took the camera from Hiro, inserted a new tape, and pressed RECORD as Tomoya pulled out the boombox the children had found. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Fur Fighters Dance Party Extravaganza!" she announced in a deadpan voice. "First up, we present to you - "

********

**Later that night....**

The Hokage's office was packed with so many people that Naruto had trouble getting the snacks through the door. The Konoha Twelve plus Sai and the Fur Fighters sat in front of her desk, staring at the projection screen attatched to the back of the door. Gaara and his siblings were milling around the Konoha Twelve, although Gaara was uncharacteristically nervous. Standing and idling around by the windows were Kakashi, Iruka, Anko, Shizune, Kotetsu, Izumo, Gai, Ibiki, Genma, Raido, Yamato, Shikaku and his wife Yoshino, Choji's parents, and Hyuuga Hisashi. Jiraiya was standing behind Tsunade, pestering his former teammate while she restrained the urge to punch him in front of all the impressionable children. Kurenai, pregnant and awkward, was sitting in a chair surrounded by Konohamaru's crew. Konohamaru was speaking to her belly, sure that his little cousin could hear him, while Hanabi stared at the fetus with Byakugan eyes.

Kusaka sat on the edge of the Hokage's desk, legs swinging like a little girl's. She seemed oddly gleeful as she set up the DVD player and positioned the projector correctly. Once the preperations were complete, she clapped her hands and said, "Okay, it's ready."

The noise level did not die down. So she stood up and yelled, "OI! It's time to start the show! Pipe down!"

Everyone shut up and faced the screen as the lights turned off. Flicking a switch, Kusaka settled down to watch what she thought would be a very interesting show.

The picture flickered on to reveal a smoking, beat-up Sai. "And now, ladies and gentlemen," Kusaka's voice announced in a deadpan tone, swinging the camera off the Foundation operative, "the Fur Fighters Dance Party Extravaganza! First up, we present to you - "

The camera changed frame to show Hiro pointing to the computer screen, Naruto, Gaara, and Sasuke on one side and Kaname and Daisuke on the other side, yelling, "I wanna do this one!"

"You want us to do WHAT NOW?" The three teenagers shared a look while Kaname and Daisuke yelled, "HELLS YEAH!!"

Then the scene went back to the training grounds. "The dance - Nanikedemonai by Russ-K!*" Kusaka finished.

Naruto appeared on the screen first, which made some people applaud, and danced his part for the first six counts of eight. Then with a hand to the camera, it transitioned to Kaname for the next six counts of eight. With a high kick transition, Daisuke appeared for the same amount of time. Hiro appeared next for his six counts of eight before dropping out of frame, then Gaara popped up and danced for his six counts of eight (this was the point where Gaara's face matched his hair color as the room erupted with applause and wolf-whistles) and then it transtioned and finished with Sasuke. At the end, everyone was applauding and praising them for a job well done.

"Next up - Squeak, Squeak, Squeak, Nya!*"

Silence as everyone looked at the screen in baffled curiosity. Tsukasa walked on-screen and made a motion to someone off-screen. The song started, and there was an instant cry of "AWWWWWWWW!!!" as the little bird boy proceeded to dance quite cutely. After ten seconds, he pulled Neji out on-screen and showed him how to do the dance. The Hyuuga genius, looking very foolish, joined in a mirroring way to the small boy. The "AAAAWWWWWWW!!" was repeated as Neji's face turned bright crimson.

The next sequence showed Mei and Kiba, perfectly at ease doing the Squeak, Squeak, Squeak, Nya! dance. More "AAWWWWWW!"s. Then Hanika hopped out and danced along. Even more "AWWWWW!"s. Hinata leaned over and hugged the bunny-girl.

Tsukasa and Neji joined them all for the next sequence, then Mei walked off-screen and pulled on, of all people, Shino. The entire room went silent, then burst into laughter as Mei demonstrated the proper motions.

Shino tried, and failed. Epically, due to lack of enthusiasm. Kiba yelled something that looked vaguely like "FAIL!" and showed the bug boy the proper way again. Yet Shino failed again, due to lack of enthusiasm.

Then Kiba, with a highly devious grin, whispered something into Shino's ear. Shino quickly and perfectly finished the dance with a high-pitched "NYA!!" along with the others. This act made every soul in the room explode in hysterical laughs that threatened to choke them all.

"Hey Shino," yelled Genma from across the room over the laughter, "what exactly did Kiba say to you?"

Shino didn't reply, but he did blush impressively. Naruto elbowed Kiba and said, "You said you'd wear that outfit you were saving for his birthday, didn't you?"

Kiba smirked. "Hey, it worked."

Then the next dance was announced, and everyone's jaws dropped to the ground. Its participents were Shippo, Sai, and Shikamaru. All through the dance, nobody could speak in shock and awe.** When it finished, there was a roar of laughter that made the very building shake, scaring some people that were working late that night.

"Hey Shikamaru, where did the outfits go?" yelled Naruto, elbowing the Nara genius. Shikamaru didn't reply, hiding his face in his hand.

Shippo answered instead. "Shika-nii-chan burned his in a barrel - and mine," he added, looking sad. "But Sai-nii-chan kept his."

When the laughter died down, the video announced the next song to be Caramelldansen***. Everyone stared at the screen with high expectations as Hikaru and Hikari marched on-screen and raised their hands to their heads in the Caramelldansen floppy-ear motion. The music began, and Lee hopped on, said, "Yosh!" and joined in the hip-shaking, floppy-hand motions with the neko twins. After a couple seconds Tenten came on, watched the three for a few seconds, then began dancing as well.

After a minute, Tomoya came stomping out and shoved the four off screen. Looking right and left, he made a sharp "come-_here_" motion with one hand, then crossed his arms as Sakura, Ino, and Hinata came out and stood left, right, and behind him. Waiting a few seconds for the music to repeat, Tomoya led his girls in true pimp fashion as the music slowly died out again.

Nanikedemonai was announced again, this time as a different show. In mirror images, from first to last, there was Sasuke and Sai, Shikamaru and Neji, Naruto and Gaara, Shino and Kiba, Kakashi all by himself, and then all of them doing the ending arm motions in a show of utter BAMF! At the end there was tumulous applause and lots of praise as the screen faded to black.

Then Kusaka's voice came over the speakers. "And now for something completely different." A furtive shot of Tsunade at her desk appeared on-screen, holding a phone. She punched in a number and listened as a ringing tone came on. The ringing continued as the screen faded to black again, then the call connected and Kusaka's voice answered in a very professional tone.

"Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline."

Everybody froze and stared at the screen. Nobody knew what to expect.

"If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, press one repeatedly." A shot of Shizune tidying up the Hokage's already neat desk played for a few seconds. The room began to chuckle.

"If you are Co-Dependant, ask someone to press two for you." A shot of Kotetsu and Izumo in downtown Konoha. Kotetsu pointed to a kiosk, which Izumo shook his head at, then pointed to another. Kotetsu shrugged as if saying, _Whatever._ The audience laughed a little louder as the two chunin looked at each other in amazement.

"If you have Multiple Personalities, press three, four, five, and six." Four seperate shots of Yoshino, each with a different emotion, flashed on-screen as each number was spoken. Shikaku and Shikamaru laughed nervously as Yoshino glared at them, while the rest of the room laughed outright.

"If you're Paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call." A leaning shot around the corner of a building revealed Danzo, acting quite suspicious. Everybody looked at Sai, who stared at his boss for a couple of seconds before doubling over to laugh his ass off. That broke the ice for everyone else to crack up.

"If you're Delusional, press seven and your call will be transferred to the mothership." A shot of Gai making a Dynamic Entry flashed on-screen, prompting Lee to jump up and yell, "GAI-SENSEI IS IN THE SHOW TOO!"

"THAT I AM, LEE!" Gai cried. This show of complete obliviousness made everyone roll on the floor laughing their asses off.

Then the screen flashed a picture of Ibiki. Laughter ceased. "If you're Schizophrenic, listen carefully - " Here a picture of his younger brother Idate appeared with the words _Small voice _underneath it, " - and a small voice will tell you which number to press."

Nobody laughed, looking at the torture specialist as he stared at the screen. Then he threw his head back and laughed. In the clear, everyone else also cracked up.

"If you are Depressive it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you." A picture of Kakashi begging Naruto for his captive volume of Icha Icha Tactics had everyone rolling on the floor laughing again.

"If you are Dyslexic, press six-nine-six-nine-six-nine-six-nine." Jiraiya's face flashed onscreen. His eyes were in swirls, which only added to the hysteria.

"If you have a Nervous Disorder - " Anko's face came on, captured with one of her sick grins. " - please fidget with the hash key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep." Anko led the laughter this time, letting loose for the first time in a long while.

A picture of Genma gnawing his senbon and scratching his head appeared. "If you have Short-Term Memory Loss, please try again later," Kusaka's voice said before the picture returned to Tsunade, who was still on the phone, "and if you have Low Self-Esteem, hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

In the video, Tsunade cursed and slammed the phone down. The screen went black. Which of course made every person in the room erupt in applause, cheers, and laughter.

Hiro stood up and took a bow, but then held up his hands. "But WAIT!" he cried. "There's more!" And he sat down.

The screen turned back on to show a photo of Sasori, using a bunch of puppets. "If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, press one repeatedly."

A photo of Konan came on next. "If you are Co-Dependant, ask someone to press two for you."

A shot of Pain's Six Paths came up next. "If you have Multiple Personalities, press three, four, five, and six."

Hidan's mug flashed on-screen next, looking surly and disagreeable as usual. "If you're Paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call."

This was followed by a shot of Madara. "If you're Delusional, press seven and your call will be transferred to the mothership." Madara's face pulled back to show a crudely drawn UFo hovering over his head.

A picture of Zetsu popped up. "If you're Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press." Two red arrows pointed to each half with the words _Small voice? _written at both.

"If you are Depressive it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you." A picture of Kisame's blue face filled the screen with an arrow pointing to his skin and the words _I'm blue?_ scrawled over it.

Tobi's grinning mug was plastered up yet. "If you are Dyslexic, press six-nine-six-nine-six-nine-six-nine."

Then came a picture of Kakuzu. "If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep."

"If you have Short-Term Memory Loss, please try again later," Kusaka finished up as Deidara's face flashed onscreen following some explosion pictures, "and if you have Low Self-Esteem, hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

The final picture was that of Uchiha Itachi. Silence fell over the roomful of ninja as the screen went blue again and turned off.

And then every man, woman, and child fell flat on their faces while laughing their butts off far into the night. They were so distracted by the funny that they failed to notice a lone shadow slipping away from the Hokage's window.

********

**Just outside of Konoha, twenty minutes later.....**

Itachi glanced around to make sure nobody was watching before cracking up in hysterical psycho laughter. For the first time in a long, long, long time the Uchiha prodigy was able to let loose his feelings and act completely without restraint.

Half an hour later, he was still sniggering when he returned to the new Akatsuki hideout. Sasori, fixing one of his puppets, looked up from his work. "You look happy. Anything good happen?"

Itachi thought about explaining, but that would have opened the lid of a whole nest of raging carnivorous anteaters. So he merely said, "Yes," and continued on his way, realizing just how accurate every one of the descriptions had been.

Only he knew. And he fully intended to keep it his little secret.

* * *

**A.N.**

**We really wanted to do a dance party, so here ya go!**

*** - Youtube it! You will see the dances and get awesome!**

**** - Words fail this dance. Check it out on Youtube here - .com/watch?v=CE1MiHyZUHg&NR=1 - and fast-forward to 0:37. Shippo is the middle one with brown hair (Atticus) Sai is the one on the right with green hair (Yusuke) and Shikamaru is the one on the left with teal hair (Zane). Enjoy! ^^**

***** - This is the link you wanna watch - .com/watch?v=0xpcptzhCjM**


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Jealous Tou-chan Makes Stupid Assumptions!**

**By DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: _Naruto_ is owned by Kishimoto. We only wish we had a tenth of his awesomeness.**

* * *

Morning came to Konoha in the normal fashion. The sunlight crept into the Uzumaki-Uchiha apartment, lighting up the rooms one by one. Sasuke rubbed his eyes, blinking in the sunlight and rolled over to see Naruto still asleep, a peaceful smile on his face. The black-haired boy reached over and stroked his boyfriend's cheek, rubbing in the direction of his whisker-lines. "Wakey, wakey, sunshine," he murmured. "Rise and shine."

Naruto purred as the stroking continued. His eyes opened with a sleepy grin. "Morning, Cockatoo." The affectionate nickname was slurred drowsily, making it sound twice as cute. "What time is it?"

"It's early." Sasuke kept stroking the blond's whiskers, which made the purring louder. "I should get up and report to the Hokage's."

Naruto rubbed his eye with the heel of his palm. "Mm, okay. I can take the kids out today." But neither boy wanted to leave the bed first, still staring into each other's eyes. By an unspoken agreement they began to scoot closer for a good-morning kiss -

"Good morning!!" Hiro cried, popping out from under the covers between his fathers like an angel from a cereal box*. Stretching, his tail smacked both Naruto and Sasuke in the face. "Life is beautiful today!" Hiro announced, pointing outside.

"It was until you shouted and woke me up!" From the cieling came Kaname, hanging from the rafters like a trapeze artist by his ankles. He looked cross, like a grumpy bat that had light shined in its eyes. "It's Saturday, dammit! What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Do you want the annotated list or the unabridged version?" remarked Daisuke, uncurling from her place at the foot of the bed. She stretched like a caramel-colored cat and lay on her back, eyes half-open. "Remember, it's the squirrel we're talking about."

Sasuke glowered as Naruto hugged their adopted son, directing his glare at the bat and fox. But not only did they fail to cower, they did the unthinkable and _turned their backs on him _- a feat that would have guarenteed any other person's death warrant.

_You're lucky you're so goddamn cute,_ he thought at them.

After a normal breakfast (which translated to Kaname and Daisuke engaging in trench and aerial warfare in an epic battle that spanned the kitchen and half the living room) Naruto and Sasuke took the three Fur Fighters to the training yards to meet up with the rest of the Konoha Twelve and the Fur Fighters. Hiro, Kaname, and Daisuke raced over to their friends, who were clustered around Gaara, a fact that Sasuke immediatetely questioned Sakura about.

"Oh, he and the Hokage are in negotiations over some political bullcrap or another," replied the pink-haired kunoichi, "so he's going to be in Konoha for a few days."

Sasuke thought back, recalling something. "Dobe did mention a mission about guarding a diplomat.......did you mean Gaara?" he asked Naruto.

"Well, Gaara always requests Naruto when he visits," Sakura added unwisely.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He turned his attention to the yard, where Gaara was making a living jungle gym for the Fur Fighters' entertainment. "And why, pray tell, is the Sand jinchuriki weapon ex-murdering psycho boy playing with the children?"

"Oh-My-God, the children absolutely love him," Naruto gushed. "You don't even _know_." His big blue eyes went uber-wide as he gazed adoringly at the adorable scene. He was so happy that Gaara had been accepted by the Fur Fighters. Not that he had been worried - Hiro had accepted the Akatsuki, for cripes sake. Gaara was absolutely normal compared to them.

But Sasuke, with jealously warping his perception, mistook the innocent gaze as something totally different. Hinata and Ino, the two standing closest to him, edged away as his aura began to darken with the black overtones of a meanacing, neverending blaze of jealously. Sasuke's mind suddenly went to _that place _- the place all insecure ignoramous assholes go when they believe, for no logical explanation, that their partner is cheating on them. Where only the ignoramous asshole is dumb enough to believe such stupidity.

Yeah, _that place._

Lee, exhibiting his stunning ability to completely misread a situation that didn't involve Gai-sensei, came over to Sasuke and said, quite loudly, "Sasuke, is something the matter? Your sparkles of youth have greatly diminished!"

Any other day Sasuke would have slapped him senseless. This time, however, it was Sai who wound up and smacked the idiot in the back of the head. Neji praised him, saying, "That was the correct reaction."

"Well, this is not gonna end well," Shikamaru said, watching Naruto beaming and Sasuke burning.

"Thanks for the plot twist, Captain Obvious," Kiba remarked.

Sai regarded the scene with cool logic. "Talk about late-night sleepy ha-has sending a flock of evil plot dust bunnies to take over the story."

Kiba looked at him like he was speaking English. "What the hell?"

"Back on the matter at hand, what're we gonna do about this?" Neji asked, jerking a thumb at Sasuke and Naruto. "There's no way we can fix this."

"Well, who says we should?" Shino said in a flat voice. "I mean, think about it. Sasuke's always gone through life thinking he has to be the alpha, that he has to be in control. Naruto has always been the one variable he could never predict, and that's what makes their relationship work. But now Sasuke's need for control is starting to impact his judgement. If he's too needy or too stupid to realize the truth of what's going down, then he needs to check back into reality before Naruto checks out of his life."

********

Hiro called a Fur Fighters Emergency Strategy Meeting just after lunch. Sitting around a rock that was about to crack with their combined lunches (kids had big stomachs and ate a wide variety of foodstuffs) he spoke around a mouthful of chestnuts, "We have to start planning the rescue of the Hebi-chan. What do we know?"

"She's in Oto - Sound Country," said Shippo, stuffing his face with bananas and other fruits.

"Where pervy-snake-man Orochimaru is," added Hanika, nibbling her lettuce. "Who took your Tou-chan."

"Lots of bad men," Mei said. Her ears flattened against her skull in fear.

"Lots of hot babes," said Tomoya. Tsukasa and Kaname simultaneously smacked him upside the head.

Kusaka sipped her juice through her straw. An oddity, she never partook in any of the Fur Fighters' meals. The only substances she consumed regularly were juice and ice water. "It's unknown where she would be. Logically, we'd need to scout the area and determine where to find the Hebi-chan before we even considered leaving Konohagakure."

"And that'll be my bid," Tsukasa said. "I can talk to birds, and a few have agreed to fly over Oto and find the Hebi-chan. Once we know more about patrols and where the Hebi-chan will be, we can go in and get her."

"Good plan!" Hikari said, munching on a piece of tuna. A light blush touched the bird's cheeks.

Hiro felt a presense behind him and turned. The tall Sand-nii-chan stood there, black-rimmed eyes watching them curiously. "Gaara-nii-chan! You want food?"

"What are you children up to?" asked the Kazekage, eyelid raising in a semblance of an eyebrow raising. "Nothing good, I expect."

Tomoya giggled nervously under those intense pale green eyes. "What makes you think that, Shukaku-sama? I-I-I mean, Gaara-nii-chan?" he stuttered, covering his mouth as Gaara's eyes widened.

_How the hell did that kid know I hold Shukaku?_ Gaara could hardly believe it.

Hiro quickly tried to bring the conversation away from Gaara and the plan to save Hebi-chan. "So, Gaara-nii-chan, are you going to be here long?"

"Just until we finish talking about stuff," he replied, sitting down with the children. "So what mischief are you eleven cooking up?"

Kusaka took an extra-long sip from her straw, draining her juice until she made a loud, obnoxious slurp. "No mischief," she said when she came up for air. "Just talking." Her golden eyes glanced over to Gaara piercingly. "Did you know that Hiro's Tou-chan is giving you the evil Sharingan eye?"

Gaara looked back and, sure enough, Sasuke was giving him a glare that could set sopping wet wood on fire. The Kazekage didn't know why, but having that kind of look on him was slightly concerning. He started going back in his memories, trying to find any reason as to the sudden hostility.

Naruto came up and tugged on Sasuke's sleeve, talking quickly. The black-haired boy stopped his angry glare, but Gaara had the sinking suspicion that this wasn't over.

And unfortunately, the redhead was right. Whenever Naruto would report to Gaara, Sasuke was almost glued to his side every step of the way. Gaara could feel the anger and hostility rolling off Sasuke like tsunamis on an island. But for the life of him, the Kazekage could not understand why he was being hated so much.

Things finally came to a head one hot day when Naruto, while eating lunch with Gaara, got a splinter rammed into his finger. How was a mystery, since the bench they were sitting on was sanded wood, but of course Naruto would be the guy to smack on the one patch of wood where there was a splinter. So now he had a sliver of wood stuck in his finger and was whining like a little baby about it.

"GAAAAARRRRRAAAAA! It HUUUUUURRRRTS!"

"And?"

Naruto sobbed overdramatically. "So get it _out_!"

"Do it yourself," Gaara replied, taking another bite of his salted tongue sandwich. "Or get Sasuke to do it."

"But he's not _here_! _You are_!"

Unfortunately, the last three sentances were heard by Sasuke, who was coming to join the two jinchuriki for lunch. He could not see them, so he didn't understand their context. However, with his mind still living in Idiotic Ignoramous Paranoid Asshole Land, he took their innocent meaning entirely the wrong way. Slinking behind a wall, he listened around the corner to their conversation.

"Brilliant deduction, Watson."

"Why am I Watson? I wanna be Holmes!"

"Holmes uses his brain."

"Then that means you can take care of my little _problem_," Naruto stressed.

Gaara fell silent. Then he sighed. "You want me to do it here?"

_Do it and I don't care if your sand is faster than thought, I'll Mangekyou your ass off_, Sasuke promised, grounding his teeth.

"NOOOO!! Not in public!" Naruto whined. "Let's go back to my place!"

"Fine. Just stop being a wuss."

So Sasuke followed Gaara and Naruto home, his mind thinking perverse thoughts all the way. He heard Gaara saying something as the redhead hauled the blonde into the bedroom and made him sit on the bed. Rather than get caught sneaking into his own house, Sasuke crawled under the bedroom window and listened.

"Okay, now hold still......." Sasuke heard Gaara suck in his breath and fall silent. "Geez, you're really squirmy, aren't you?"

"Sorry," Naruto whimpered. The bedsprings squeaked a little. "Gaara......it _huuuuurrrrrts_......"

"Yeah, dumbass, that's what happens when........aw shit."

"What? What?" The blonde sounded half relieved, half apprehensive. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just.......it's not gonna come out easy." Gaara sighed sharply. "Dammit. It's a lot bigger than I thought it'd be....."

The bed gave a series of squeaks as weight was shifted. A lot of weight. "Ow. Ow! OOWW!! AH! OW!"

"Will you quit it?! I'm trying to wiggle it out, you moron!" Gaara reprimanded sharply.

Naruto hissed and whimpered, "I think it went in _deeper_!"

"That's because you were squirming while I wiggled it! Don't make me tie you up with my sand!" The redhead sounded exhausted, panting a little. "I'll do it! I swear!"

"No! The sand is itchy and leaves marks - AHHH!" Naruto's scream was sort of breathless. "Is it - is it finished?" he breathed.

Gaara sighed again. "Yes, it's finished. Relax. Lie down."

"But I don't wanna!"

"Lie. Down. Now!"

Sasuke could no longer contain himself. He slowly turned and peeked over the windowsill into the bedroom. Just in time to see Gaara pushed Naruto down on the bed with both hands. The Uchiha's anger rose again.

"Well that was entertaining," came Sai's voice from the doorway. Sasuke turned and saw Sai standing there with, of all people, Hiro. "I didn't know Naruto was such a squirmer."

Hiro clapped his hands. "Wow, Gaara-nii-chan, you sure know how to make Papa happy!" the little boy chirped.

"It's not that hard," Gaara said, shrugging nonchalantly.

Naruto suddenly glomped the redhead with a huge smile lighting up his face. "Yay! Thank you Gaara! I should come to you the next time I have a hard problem!"

And that was the proverbial last straw from the insecure ignoramous asshole voyeuring from the window. He threw the window sash open so fast it sounded like a gunshot, making everyone in the room start. Sasuke entered like a black specter of rage and jealousy, Sharingan eyes spinning madly. "You motherf***ing sonnuvab*tch," he snarled at Gaara, forgetting that Hiro was in earshot. "How dare you. How dare you!"

"Sasuke, what's the matter?" Naruto asked, thoroughly confused at his boyfriend's antics. One hand went to restrain Gaara as the other boy began to rise to his feet. "Why were you lurking outside the window?" Then his blue eyes widened in realization. "Wait, how long were you out there?"

"Long enough," Sasuke snapped angrily, thoroughly convinced that he'd caught Naruto dead to rights. "I heard _everything_. I know _exactly_ what you did. And in our bed! How could you, Naruto!!??" Without pausing he directed his glare to Gaara. "And _you_! You goddamn Sand freak! How dare you touch my property with your filthy crusty hands, you f***ing monster!"

There was no unit of time fast enough to record how swiftly the atmosphere transformed into one charged with tension and long-dormant suffering. The looks of pain that flashed across Naruto and Gaara's faces were brief, but visible long enough that Sasuke stopped his incessant ramblings of an insecure ignoramous asshole oh-woe-is-me bit and took a step back with the look of "Oh-sh*t what'ev-I-done" plastered on his stupid face as he stammered out "Oh sh*t, N-n-naruto, I'm so sorry. Really Sunshine. I-I-I-"

"Get out," Naruto snarled, his normally happy-go-lucky expression morphed into one unveiling the power held within the depths of his body. Sasuke hesitated and Naruto wasted no time in propelling himself across the room and launching Sasuke out the window while screaming "I said GET OUT you no-good duck-butt headed ignoramous!!!"

The sound of the Uchiha smashing into a tree quenched the regret he had at not smashing the idiot through a closed window. Naruto walked to the window, closing it with a resonding crack, breaking the glass. Fuming for a moment, he took the time to calm down before turning to Gaara. "God, I am so sorry," he breathed. "He's such an idiot sometimes."

Gaara shrugged, chill as ice in the Arctic. "Whatever. He just better keep his mouth shut. I don't know what I'll do if he goes off on that line again."

"Believe me, I won't stop you next time," the blond said. Then he frowned, his eyes darting around the room before landing on Sai. "Um, where's Hiro-chan?"

Sai blinked, thinking for a second. "He said something about going to find the Fur Fighters."

********

The Fur Fighters were quite surprised when Hiro skidded into their hideout (i.e. the secret room in the Third's nose of the Hokage Monument) and said, quite calmly, "I think we should go get the Hebi-chan now."

Needless to say, there was some questioning. "Huh?" Tomoya asked, cocking his head to one side. "Why?"

"Papa and Tou-chan are fighting soon," Hiro said simply, getting everyone on their feet. "And we should get out while we can."

"Why's that?" asked Tsukasa.

"Well, let's think about this for a second." Hiro held up a finger. "In the one corner is my Papa, the holder of the Kyuubi. In the other corner is my Tou-chan, who is an Uchiha powered up with an evil Level 2 Curse Seal that he's not afraid of using." He held up another finger. "That's a bad combination, trust me. Oh, and Gaara-nii-chan is gonna jump in too."

"What're we waiting for?" Kaname said in a falsely cheery voice, already heading out the door. The rest of the band were not far behind him.

They made good time getting out of Konoha, trekking halfway to the Valley of the End before hiding out in the forest. Tsukasa took the time to ask passing birds to act as his spies, flying into Oto and finding the Hebi-chan's location. Hanika, Mei, and the twins Hikari and Hikaru foraged for foodstuffs while Kaname and Tomoya tried to start a fire.

Daisuke, Hiro, and Kusaka were scouting when the blue-haired girl suddenly drew up short, making Daisuke and Hiro run into her back. She tensed up, glancing around with a lazy expression on her face. "We're not alone," she announced. "Show yourself, you idiot lizard-boy."

There was a small chuckle that echoed among the trees. "Is that any way to treat an old friend?"

Daisuke and Hiro looked up and saw the strangest person stretched out on a thick bough. He had vivid, silky, boy-short flame-red hair with two side bangs that fell to just below his chin. His left eye was a silvery color, glittering with mischief. His other eye was covered by an eyepatch, embriodered with the kanji for LOVE and HATE. His pants were black leather, held up by a myraid assortment of silver-buckled red belts. His shirt was sleeveless and black, covered with a red vest with an overly dramatic shirt collar and three buckle straps, which were open. He had seriously badass boots, army-style and black, with silver buckles lining the sides and thick black soles. Black gloves covered his hands save his ring and pinky fingers and stopped just below his elbows. His upper arms sported black armbands with red over them.

"Who's that, Ryuu-chan?" Hiro asked, pointing.

Her eyebrow raised. "An annoying lizard. Nothing to waste time or energy acknowledging."

"Aw, I'm hurt, Saka." The boy grinned impishly.

"Bite me, Val," Kusaka replied, deadpan.

Daisuke looked up at the boy in the tree. "That's a girl?" she asked, confused.

* * *

**DemonClowSorceress: HI! It's been a long time! Hope we've done well!**

**Red: Well right now I'm feeling very blarg.**

**DemonClowSorceress: ~? Why's that? Cuz there's no Itachi in this chapter?**

**Itachi: *appears out of nowhere* I can't be in _every_ chapter, Red-chan.**

**Red: *flat eyes and tired voice* Oh, that's very sweet of you, but that's not why blarg.**

**DemonClowSorceress: Then tell us why you are blarg!**

**Red: *blink blink blink blink blink* My brain's not working right now......**

**DemonClowSorceress: Itachi, fix her brain! *Itachi drags Red off* Hopefully she'll be better by next chapter.**

**A.N**

*** - Dane Cook reference. WIN!!**


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Anger, Intellect, and Cat Ears Surface!**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: We do not own _Naruto._ None of it.**

* * *

Daisuke looked up at the boy in the tree. "That's a girl?" she asked, confused.

"May as well be," Kusaka said.

"Now don't be rude," the boy said. He swung his leg over and landed lightly on the ground. "I'm Valac. Kusaka's an old friend of mine." The boy knelt down and ruffled Kusaka's hair. "How ya doing, Saka?"

Her lips twisted into a sarcastic smile. "How ya like your limbs where they are, Valac?"

"Very well, thank you." Valac suddenly frowned. "Hey, why are you in that form? What's the matter? Isn't your crystal - "

"Valac, these are my companions and fellow Fur Fighters." Kusaka smoothly spoke over him as she introduced Hiro and Daisuke. "We're part of a group and we're heading into Oto to rescue another of our band. Would you like to accompany us?"

The redhead stared at her for a long moment, then nodded. "I guess so. Nice to meet you both."

The four headed back to the clearing where the rest of the Fur Fighters had gathered. Introductions were made, dinner was served, and conversation ensued. Valac proved to be an easy person to like, even if he continuously pushed Kusaka's buttons to the point of suicide.

"So," he said once everyone had eaten their fill, "how do you intend to sneak into the creepy evil snake-man's lair?" His eye slanted over to the Valley of the End and what lay beyond it. "I mean, he's got his goons prowling that entire place. You gotta avoid them while avoiding the traps he's set, all to find one snake-girl who's even more dangerous than all the guards combined. You got a game plan?"

"Of course we do!" Hiro said proudly. "We go in, grab the Hebi-chan, use force if necessary, and then book it out of there!"

Valac nodded. "Good plan. What if it fails?"

"What d'you mean, what if it fails? How could it fail?" Hiro could not understand how his simple plan could not pan out. As he'd been taught, simple plans always worked better than complicated ones. Besides, his brain hurt when he tried to make complicated plans.

"Then how about this?" said Hanika, nibbling on her assorted greens daintily. "When Tsukasa learns where the Hebi-chan is, we'll surround her on two sides and trap her. Then half of us can draw her attention while Ryuu-chan and Kitsune-chan and Akki-chan get into place to knock out Hebi-chan. Then we can grab her and run away as fast as we can over the border, because Oto ninjas can't cross over into Konoha territory." Everybody looked at the rabbit incredulously. She blinked. "What? I can't be astute when I want?"

"It's kinda......" Tomoya grinned. "Hot." This comment was punctuated by a double head smack from Tsukasa and Hikaru. Hanika blushed.

Hiro took this opportunity to loudly exclaim, "OKAY! BEDTIME!" The rest of the Fur Fighters bunked for the night, leaving Kusaka and Valac on guard duty. The two situated themselves in a nearby tree and Valac took the chance to catch up with his old friend.

"So, it's been a long time. Where you been?"

Her icy blue eyes didn't even glance at him. "No place I wanna discuss with you." She continued to stare at the darkening landscape. "Why are you here? Did my father send you?"

"Nope. I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd annoy." He raked back hair that fell over his eyes. "But seriously, it's been what, a couple years, give or take? Where have you been? You dropped off the face of the earth, and that's not easily done by one of our kind."

"Then I'm just special," Kusaka responded.

Valac's smile went from cocky to caring. "That's true, you always were special." His eyes bored into the back of her skull. "Saka, where's your crystal amulet? I can't get a firm read on you."

The little girl refused to answer him. Valac sighed. "Oh fine, if you're not going to answer me......" He raised the index and middle fingers of his right hand and tensed. There was a puff of smoke, and then there was a child version of Valac sitting across from Kusaka. One big silver eye looked at the girl. "I'll stick around for a spell. Gods know I can't go home."

"What happened to your eye?" Kusaka asked, but Valac pretended to be her, ignored the question, and hopped out of the tree.

********

**The Next Day, back in Konoha.....**

Sasuke was still fuming at Naruto when they met up with everybody else after a fruitless night of looking for the Fur Fighters. "See, this is all your fault. It's your fault that my son is missing AGAIN and it's all because of your philandering ways with that Sand freak!"

Of course he had to scream this at the top of his lungs. Of course the Konoha Twelve heard him and spun around to stare incredulously at Gaara. Of course Gaara made a gesture at them that clearly said, "What are you, stupid? No."

"How many times do I have to say it? That's not what happened!" Naruto looked to be on the verge of tears as he tried calming his jealous lover. "Please Sasuke, keep your voice down!"

"Keep my voice DOWN?!" This only fueled Sasuke's misdirected fire. "_Keep my voice down?!_ You expect me to keep my voice down when you've been cheating on me?! _WITH GAARA?!_"

Kiba raised an eyebrow. "Anyone care to explain why those two are having a lover's spat in front of us?"

Sai smiled. "Well, Sasuke's mind apparently went to the dirty place while he was peeping under the windowsill as Gaara helped Naruto remove a splinter from his finger."

Shikamaru sighed. "Are you serious? How stupidly troublesome."

Meanwhile the duckbutt head and the fox boy were still arguing. More like Naruto trying to placate his boyfriend while Sasuke systematically and idiotically burned all his bridges with the blond while smearing Gaara's name in the process.

Then Sasuke's dark eyes landed on the redheaded Kazekage and found a new target to yell at. "_YOU_!!"

"Me," Gaara retorted with his customary emotionless expression.

This served to infuriate the Uchiha even more. "Yes you, you - you - son of a - mother - AUGH!"

"Are you quite finished sputtering like an overboiled tea kettle?" Gaara interjected in a bored tone, masking his rising anger at seeing his cute little brother (Naruto) so close to crying.

"_THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!_" Sasuke leveled the finger of blame at Gaara, who responded with an invisible eyebrow raise. "Don't gimme that look, you no-good two-bit demon man-whore with a mother complex! You're only banging MY boyfriend because he's the only one who'll deal with your level of bull-crap! Not even YOUR MOM wanted any of that!"

Stunned, jaw-dropping silence covered the group. Gaara had gone still, so still, still as a statue. It was a known unspoken fact of the ninja world; never bring up Gaara's mom. Naruto's eyes were like a cat watching ping-pong, darting from Sasuke to Gaara and back. "I-I-I think you went a little too far," he said softly, his fingertips reaching to lightly touch the Uchiha's shoulder. "Why don't you apolo - "

"DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU DEMON WHORE!!" Sasuke yelled, violently jumping away from the blond.

However, this had the unexpected and violent side effect of his arm coming up to backhand Naruto across the face, sending Naruto to the ground. Sakura, Ino, and Hinata gasped in horror as Tenten and Temari joined the ranks of the boys who were ready to beat Sasuke to a bloody pulp for what he'd done. Naruto pushed himself up with an arm, cupping his bruised cheek with his free hand as he looked up at Sasuke with the look of an abused dog that asked "What did I do wrong, master?"

Sasuke's eyes widened as the horror of his actions hit him. "Naruto - Naru, I'm so - "

"It's five minutes too late for you to be sputtering any kind of apology, bastard." This was spoken in a dark, dangerous, evil voice that many people had forgotten Gaara possessed.

What happened next was both astonishing and very, very fast. With speed nobody knew he had, Gaara dropped his gourd and streaked across the twenty feet seperating him from Sasuke to b*tch-slap the dark-haired asshole with enough force to send him flying backwards. Pale green eyes were dark with rage as the redhead snarled, "B*tch Slap no Jutsu," as Sasuke slammed into a tree and crumpled to the ground.

Neji's Byakugan eyes widened in shock. "When the fuck did he get so goddamn fast!?"

"He's the Kazekage, dumbass," Kankuro cackled as his younger brother stalked towards the fallen Uchiha. "After Sasuke raced circles around him at the Chunin Exams, Gaara has been training himself in taijutsu nonstop. He even stopped using his sand for an entire year." Eyes widened even more. "Yeah, I know, that was our reaction. He's almost too fast for our eyes to track. This is shaping up to be the greatest rematch of our time."

Gaara, standing over a struggling-to-rise Sasuke, delivered a well-aimed kick to the other boy's ribs. Kankuro blinked. "Or......not."

"Get up, you inconsiderate dumbass," Gaara snarled in that dark, dangerous, evil voice. "Don't make me embarrass you even more."

Sasuke tried to sweep Gaara's feet out from under him. The redhead only jumped to avoid the sweep and kicked Sasuke in the head, sending him bouncing across the ground again. Kankuro facepalmed as Temari sighed heavily, her hands on her hips. "Gaara, please try not to show off too much," she said in a carrying voice. "You _are_ the Kazekage, remember. You have to show some respect to your enemies, even if they are idiotic hopeless nutcases with no chance of pulling their head from their ass."

But Gaara was already long gone. He was sinking back into Jinchuriki Killer Mode, all his focus and anger on the black-haired moron who _dared_ to hurt his darling little fox brother. Stalking towards Sasuke as the latter struggled to rise, Gaara made ready to unleash a world of agony, rage, and pure unadulterated whoop-ass on him. And he proceeded to do so very well.

Neji watched the kicking, punching, smacking redhead pummell the Uchiha without using a speck of chakra. "You think we should stop this?"

Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, Shino, and Sai responded in one breath without hesitation. "No."

Kiba blinked as Gaara hauled Sasuke up by his collar and dusted his chin with an uppercut. "Do you think Gaara's gonna use any jutsus on him so he won't totally embarrass Sasuke?"

The remaining boys shook their heads and chorused, "No."

Shino plucked an imaginary piece of dirt from his sleeve. "You think Sasuke will ever recover from this humiliation?"

"No." No hesitation whatsoever.

"You think Naruto's gonna stop him soon?" Choji asked when Gaara delivered a particularly vicious b*tch-slap to Sasuke.

Another rousing chorus of "No," answered him before another voice joined in. With a very unfamiliar smirk on her face, Hinata asked her male friends, "Anyone want to take bets on how long this is gonna go?"

But those plans (and Hinata's obvious atttempt to fleece the boys) were put on pause when Naruto shot past Gaara like a blond comet, skidding to a halt in front of his beaten boyfriend. Sasuke barely had time to look up before Naruto lifted his leg and rammed his foot down with all the power he could muster.

On Sasuke's groin.

The boys winced and crossed their legs unconsciously. The girls hissed. Gaara's eyes widened in shock. Sasuke gave an unmanly shriek and assumed the fetal position.

"You idiotic, ignoramous asshole," Naruto said in a scarily level voice. "Why, pray tell, is everything that comes out of your mouth in anger just the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the ignorant by the incompetent?"*

This statement was met with silence, not only from Sasuke, but from all the ninjas present. Naruto could feel their astonished stares burning lasers into his back. He internally winced at the unintentional revelation of his intellect, but it wasn't such a biggie anymore. He was boiling at the mess Sasuke had created with his raging jealously.

"Okay, you jealous bastard, listen up and listen good." Naruto held up one finger. "One, the hell is wrong with you? I chased after your sorry ass for HOW LONG AGAIN!? That's right, THREE YEARS!" Three fingers waved in Sasuke's face. "I chased after your sorry emo ass for THREE GODDAMN F*CKING YEARS, and you have the GALL to even ASSUME, to even allow the mere THOUGHT to form, that I would cheat on you?! And with GAARA?!" Naruto leveled a finger back at the redhead. "He's like my goddamn brother, you bastard! If you thought I'd cheat on you, why not suspect me with Neji, or Sai? They're more likely to complete me than frickin' Gaara!!"

Neji and Sai shared a look that said, _Did Naruto just admit in public that we're possible second choices? _while Gaara's mind thought, _If any other person were talking about me like this, I'd kill him. I'd kill him dead. With my sand, or something._

Sasuke attempted to speak using his recently reinflated lungs. "Naru, I - "

"Two," Naruto said, drowning him out as his second finger rose. "The hell is wrong with you, temee? If you'd bothered to properly assess the situation, you would have seen that I had a giant-ass splinter in my finger that I'd asked Gaara to pull out. You know how much splinters unnerve me!"

_So, this entire clusterf*ck started because Naruto got a piece of wood stuck in his finger?_ The Konoha Twelve and the Sand siblings sweatdropped in disbelief. Sasuke's eyes dropped to the ground and he muttered something inaudibly.

Two orange-red fox ears popped out from underneath Naruto's blond mop, tilting forward. "What was that?" he asked dangerously. "I couldn't catch it."

"Be careful of your next words," Gaara added, striding forward. He also had animal ears poking from his red hair, but his were raccoon-dog ears that were black with reddish-brown tips. Several of the girls wished to coo and awww over the Kazekage's new ears, but they valued their lives more than that.

Sasuke glanced to the side, refusing to meet his boyfriend's eyes. "I may have been - hasty - in my initial judgement of the situation."

"' Hasty?' " Naruto repeated, incredulous and annoyed. " 'May have been?' Really? That's all you've got to say? Cuz dude, as far as apologies go, that one sucked."

Gaara crossed his arms, his forgotten gourd floating over on a cloud of sand and attaching to his back again. Those pale green eyes were intense as they bored into Sasuke's face. "You know what you have to say. So say it, damn you."

It took severe wrestling with his pride, but Sasuke managed to say "I'm sorry," in a timely fashion. After all, he did love Naruto to the marrow of his bones. Now that he'd been delivered a swift kick - and punch - and many, many b*tch-slaps back to reality, he was beginning to realize the amount of pain and headache he'd put everybody through.

"Aw, it's so sweet," Kiba drawled, leaning against Shino and resting his head on the bug boy's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm getting cavities," Neji replied sarcastically. "Call the dentist."

After this romantically violent episode in Naruto and Sasuke's relationship, focus returned to the two jinchuriki's ears. The girls began to touch, fondle, and coo over the fox and tanuki appendages as their owners twitched in annoyance at being treated like pets. Gaara had three anger marks on his forehead when he muttered to Naruto, "Can we kill them? I know Sabaku Sōsō (Sand Waterfall Funeral) and a great place to do it."

Naruto almost said no, but then someone tugged his ears. Hard. So he ground out through his teeth, "I'm with you on this one. Where is the place?"

The rest of the boys must've caught onto the murderous intent of the blond and redhead, because they swarmed en masse and each pulled a girl away. The kunoichi would not go willingly. Choji had to wrap Ino in a bear hug to pin her arms. Neji, after getting kicked in the stomach by his female teammate, had to use Juken and paralyze Tenten's arms to wrap his arm around her waist and haul her away. Hinata was bodily dragged back by Kiba and Shino, whining all the way. Shikamaru didn't bother with attempting to pull Temari away in a dignified manner, instead going with grabbing her around her waist, throwing her over his shoulder, and stalking away. Naruto and Gaara shared an impressed look that said _Not bad. Not bad for a guy three years younger than her......._

Sai went in to grab Sakura, but the pinkette just stepped away. He tried again, but she merely stepped again. In this fashion they made a complete circle around Naruto and Gaara, who were ready to kill at a moment's notice. Sai frowned, puzzled at how to tackle this problem. _Well, she's displaying a certain fascination with animal ears.......adorable animal ears.......attached to adorable boys.....Hmmmmmmm......well, cats are cute, Sakura likes cats. I think I can do this.............maybe......._

Whipping out a scroll, Sai painted a pair of huge cat ears** and formed a sign. They popped off the parchment, 3D and realistic, and he popped them over his real ears. _Okay, so I've got the ears._ He looked as Sakura paid him no attention, still fondling jinchuriki ears. _Um.........now what? What do cats do to get attention?_

"Me-ow?" he said, sounding so lame.

Gaara looked at Sai with a dagger glare, unable to speak with Sakura meddling with his ears, while Naruto growled, "You bastard, are you _asking_ to get killed?"

_I guess I need to inject more emotion. _Sai sidled up to Sakura and quickly licked her cheek, backing up even quicker to keep his facial features on his face. Dregging up every drop of emotion, he made his eyes go big and cutesy while delivering a perfect "Meow!"

Sakura had frozen when Sai's tongue touched her skin. _What was........Was that.....? _She slowly, slowly turned her head and saw Sai, with big adorable eyes and black cat ears sticking up from under his hair. "Meow!" he said again, bringing a fist to his chin like it was a paw.

In what would be forever considered "Sakura's Break From Sanity" the pinkette flung herself at Sai in a tackle-glomping-hug. "KAWAIIIIII!!!" she shrieked, hugging the boy tightly. One hand came up and fondled the cat ears happily as Sai quickly backpedaled away from Naruto and Gaara.

Now that nobody was inappropriately touching their ears, both jinchuriki could relax enough to make the ears go away. There was an audible sigh from the girls that they decided to ignore.

Sai, having removed his own ears, put Sakura down and questioned the masses, "So.........where are the Fur Fighters?"

********

**Deep in Sound Country, near Orochimaru's hideout....**

"There it is," muttered Hikaru, fur standing on end as he glared at the almost camoflouged building sprawled across the valley. He wrapped an arm around Hikari, who was shuddering almost violently. "This is where he kept me and my sister."

Mei sneezed. "That place stinks of evil," she said, hunching in on herself.

Hiro thought about the plan again. They'd managed to sneak past Oto's borders. They'd snuck past all guards thanks to Kusaka and Valac's abilities, as well as the neko twins' incredible knowledge of Oto and Mei's powerful nose that led them right to Orochimaru's door.

Or, more precisely, two hundred feet above Orochimaru's door. On the hillside facing the compound, hidden in the forest, scouting the place before they went in.

Tomoya poked Kaname's shoulder until the bat boy snapped, "WHAT?!" and made everybody else look at the tanuki boy.

"Um, we've been having a great stroke of luck, huh?" Tomoya asked, fidgeting a little.

Kaname was already annoyed at not being able to fly when he wanted to, so this made him snappy. "Why are you questioning this, tanuki?"

Again he fidgeted. "Well, ya see, I just meant that, well.........." He pointed over Kaname's shoulder. "Hebi."

"Huh?" came the collective response of the Fur Fighters.

Tomoya pointed. "Hebi. Behind you."

So they all turned. And then they understood. Valac even said, quite unnecessarily, "Well whaddya know. I'll be damned, there she is."

"And she's drawing swords," Kusaka remarked. "Twin blades. And they're made of crystal."

"What should we do?" asked Hiro, cocking his head to the side. "We can't hurt her...."

Kusaka balled up her fists in preperation for a fight. "Well, the best way to take her is to knock her out. For a long period of time."

"Kyuu!"

The Hebi paused, feeling something sticky and round land atop her head. She looked up and saw the riceball sitting there. Before she could react - BOOM!

"Nice - " Daisuke preened at Kaname's compliment. " - exploding riceball." She threw a glare at him.

"Now what?" Hanika asked, edging closer to the unconscious Hebi.

Tsukasa and Kaname were already at the Hebi's side. "Grab the girl and run!" Tsukasa ordered.

Each Fur Fighter held a part of the Hebi, lifted her up as one, and booked it out of there.

* * *

**A.N.**

*** - This statement was brought to you by Red, who read it in "Tempest Fugit" a Draco/Harry fanfic.**

**** - Like the detachable ones in _Loveless._**


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Papa, Can We Keep The Hebi-chan?!**

**By DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: You get the idea. _Naruto_'s not ours, nor are any characters that appear in this story. Except Kusaka and Valac. We came up with those bad babies.**

**Red: And the Fur Fighters are our brainchildren too! ^.^**

* * *

Once they had the Hebi, the Fur Fighters ran as fast as their little legs could carry them. By some miracle they managed to evade the patrolling Sound ninjas and re-cross the border without any mishap. In fact, their remarkable luck held up until they reached the Valley of the End.

Then they put the Hebi on the ground and stood in a circle around her. Below the waist, she had the body of a snake, pebbled scales colored black. Above, however, she looked like a normal human. If normal included black-rimmed cat eyes* and long, shiny black hair that resembled a scary ghost-girl from a horror movie.**

Kusaka sighed, putting her hands on her small hips. "Well, we got the girl. Now what?" Her question was mostly directed at Hiro. The little squirrel held up his hands as if to say _What are you looking at me for? I'm just a squirrel._

Valac knelt beside the girl, seeing a strange mark on her shoulder that looked like the curse mark Kimimaro used to have, but red instead of black. Curiously, he poked it. It moved a little, squirming away from his finger. Intrigued, he poked it again. And again. And again.

Kusaka's hand shot out and grabbed his finger in a crushing grip. Her body shifted to hide the squirming mark. "Not in front of the children, you stupid lizard!"

"Ow," he said in a blunt tone. "Finger's turning purple here, Saka."

"Good!" she said, satisfied.

"No, really, look at my finger!" He tugged the digit away from her. "Seriously, I'm checking out this mark. I think it's a kind of jutsu."

"That does what, exactly?" Tsukasa asked as the cat, dog, and fox kids began to sniff the snake girl.

Hiro stared at the red mark before pointing to it. "That's almost like the mark Tou-chan has! It's the evil pervy snake-man's mark!" His eyes began to well up with tears. "It's evil! Make it go away!"

Mei, Hikari, and Hikaru immediately shied away in fear. Daisuke, trembling but stubbornly hiding her fear, continued to examine the mark. "It's some sort of subjugation jutsu," she said in a choked voice. "Coupled with a _henge_ (transformation) jutsu. Seems like she's being forced into remain in this form and to be the snake-man's personal slave."

"So this isn't the Hebi-chan's true form," mused Kaname, crossing his arms and looking at the unconscious snake girl. "It's just a jutsu. Perfect. Can you get it off?"

Valac nodded confidently. "Of course I can. I am totally awesome, after all."

"You might want to deflate your ego before walking into Konoha's gate," remarked Kusaka dryly. "You might break it." Then she glanced at him with a strange look in her eye. "Wait. You're going to use _that_?"

The redheaded boy shrugged, fingering the edge of his eyepatch. "Why Saka, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were concerned for me."

Kusaka rolled her eyes. "Well, considering the fact that your eye is _still_ covered since that fight, I have to ask since you're going to be going in at half power."

One eyebrow rose in confusion. "Kusaka......are you okay?"

"I'm going to ask this with the greatest amount of civility - What drugs are you on, you idiot hydra?"

Valac bristled angrily, his silver eye aflame with annoyance. "I'm not on any - Wait, did you just call me a hydra?" The annoyance became concern again. "Saka, the hell's up with you? First you're on about my eye, then you bring hydras into the mix. You know they've been extinct since the Black Dragon was exiled - " Here he stopped suddenly, not only because there was no sign of recollection in Kusaka's ice-blue eyes, not only because there were eleven eagerly attentive Fur Fighters listening to his every word, but because of something far more subtle but no less worrisome.

Kusaka flinched at the mention of the Black Dragon. _Almost as if she......as if she......._

Hiro tugged on Valac's sleeve, breaking the boy's thought. "So are you gonna break the jutsus on Hebi-chan and take off her mark now, Rei-chan?***"

With difficulty Valac tore his gaze from Kusaka and focused on the unconscious snake girl in front of him. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his eyepatch to reveal his covered right eye. The iris wasn't as perfect as his left eye's; there was a jagged red line running diagonally through the silver. Blinking both eyes, Valac took a deep breath to steady himself and looked at the pulsing red mark on the Hebi-chan's shoulder.

"Wait." Kusaka grabbed his wrist. "Before you go through with this, tell me honestly. Are you going to be okay after this?"

The boy flashed a brief smile. "Me? Are you kidding?" Seeing her insistance, he nodded again. "I'll be fine. Honest." Then he looked back at the Hebi's mark.

Mei and Daisuke began to whine as the winds grew stronger. Tsukasa went stock-still, like a cornered bird faced with an axe. Kaname gave him a WTF look before a sudden peal of lightning had the bat boy's wings snapping out to cover his face in a protective manner at the same time as Tsukasa's wings. Hikari, Hikaru, and Hanika all huddled together in fear, while Shippo and Tomoya hid their faces behind each other's tails. Kusaka just knelt there and watched as nature turned violent for no apparent reason, her eyes intently watching Valac as his unblinking eyes never wavered from the Hebi-chan's mark.

Hiro was the only one to watch when the mark pulsed, writhed, and convulsed before blurring and evaporating from the Hebi's skin. He stared at Valac, the latter pale and sweating as he murmured, "Burn, baby, burn," and promptly passed out into Kusaka's arms. The weather cleared instantly, letting sunlight strike the group with bright rays.

Kusaka angrily muttered, "Valac, you idiot," as she pulled his eyepatch over his right eye again. "You stupid, arrogant ass."

Hiro, however, was more focused on the Hebi-chan. Gone was her serpentine body and pale-as-death skin. Now she looked like a regular girl, the same age as Hiro himself, only instead of fur, her sleeveless top and skirt were made of reptile skin. Still on her back were strapped two roughly hewn crystal swords colored palest green. Her hair was still waist-length and black, but looked cleaner than before and no longer covering her face. Her delicately featured face - that had two bright green eyes staring at Hiro like he was something that had to be eliminated.

Not to mention the pale green crystal blade aimed right for the squirrel boy's throat.

Kusaka couldn't move to help, seeing as how she was pinned by Valac's unconscious form. _Damn, that snake struck fast,_ she thought. Then she saw Daisuke and Kaname assume their fighting stances. _Good thing the bat and fox are just as fast._

"Drop the sword, reptile," snarled Daisuke, on all fours and ready to pounce.

Tsukasa sighed and came forward. The Hebi almost continued her attack, but didn't when she saw the bird boy's slap connect with the back of Daisuke's head. The fox rolled into the fetal position, hands cradling her sore cranium. "OW! What was that for?"

"You're making the situation worse," Tsukasa snapped.

Kaname snickered as he jabbed his finger towards Daisuke. "Ha ha ha! You got told!" This was also halted by a smack to the head. "OW! The hell, Tsukasa?"

"You're no help either."

Hikari came forward, putting her hand lightly on Tsukasa's shoulder. "Um, could we talk to her?" she asked softly, looking up to the pale blond boy. "We knew her when we were at the snake-man's place."

Tsukasa blushed as he stared at her hand and blustered, "Um, well, uh, um, er, s-s-sure! Sure," he repeated a little more calmly. "Yeah, sure, go for it."

The twins knelt close to the snake girl. Hikari spoke first. "Hebi-chan, it's okay. These kids are our friends. Nobody's gonna hurt you."

Her mouth opened, teeth baring, and hissed. The cat girl shivered, but perservered. "Look, Hebi-chan. The snake-man's jutsu is gone. You're not a snake-lady anymore."

The girl looked down and saw her lower body. She bent one leg, then the other in wonder. She wiggled her toes. Her eyes widened. A perplexed hiss came out of her mouth.

Hikaru spoke up. "It was thanks to Valac. He broke the jutsu. And we all rescued you." He gestured to the rest of the Fur Fighters. "We snuck into Oto and busted you out of there. It was awesome."

The Hebi-chan glanced back at Hiro, who wasn't moving due to her crystal blade being leveled at his throat still. Hikari saw her look and said pleadingly, "He's our leader, Hiro. He's a good squirrel-boy. It's okay."

Very, very slowly, the Hebi-chan took the point of her blade away from Hiro's throat. He rubbed his neck and watched as she sheathed the pale green crystal sword behind her back. Seeking to reassure her, he said, "Hebi-chan, we're all here for the same reason. We've all been taken from our homes and brought here for some reason. We're all in the same boat."

"We're all in this together, and we can't do it without you," said Shippo in a rare moment of seriousness, joining Hiro. "So come with us back to Konoha. Hiro's Papa and Tou-chan are good people, and so are his nii-chans and nee-chans." His big orange eyes widened even more as his serious attitude devolved into sugar-high childish joy. "They give us candy and good food and toys and hugs and let us sleep with them in big warm beds and - "

Hiro smiled as the monkey boy continued to rattle on and on about the love of the Konoha Twelve. "The point is, Hebi-chan, we'd like it if you came back with us," he said. "We can give you a good home, and you won't have to be scared of the evil snake-man anymore. We can protect you."

Before he was even finished speaking the Hebi-chan was shaking her head. A scared hiss came out of her mouth. _She's scared bad,_ Hiro thought. _What did that snake-man do to Hebi-chan?_

"She says she can't," Hikari translated.

Tsukasa frowned. "Won't you speak?" he asked the Hebi-chan, leaning forward. "It's okay." But she shook her head.

Kusaka hefted the still-unconscious Valac onto Tomoya's back, glancing around The Valley of the End sharply. "Not that this isn't fun, but we ought to head out," she said. "Let's not blow our very lucky extraction tripping just before the finish line, okay?"

The Fur Fighters nodded and quickly headed down the sides of the waterfall. As they did, Tsukasa's sharp bird eyes spotted familiar shapes on the ground below. "Hey! I think I see some of the Konoha Twelve!"

"Who do you see?" asked Kaname, fluttering beside Tomoya to help support Valac on the tanuki's back.

The bird boy squinted, since their elevation and angle made it hard to discern faces. "Uh......brown pineapple, black duckbutt, blond spiky, red spiky, brown spiky, brown barbie doll long, hooded afro, and black normal."

"Shika-nii-chan, Tou-chan, Papa, Gaara-nii-chan, Kiba-nii-chan, Neji-nii-chan, Shino-nii-chan, and Sai-nii-chan," recited Hiro. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "PAPA! TOU-CHAN! WE'RE UP HERE!! ON OUR WAY DOWN!!"

Far, far below them, Naruto heard the echo of his son's voice and looked up. His sharp blue eyes quickly found the furry pelts of the children making their way down the cliffside. He waved his arms to signal that he understood, then directed his search party to head over to the bottom.

********

Needless to say, Naruto was extremely displeased that his son and friends had mounted a rescue mission into Oto. He was even less pleased with the fact that they had brought home another stray animal-child; a child that, he learned, was one of Orochimaru's pets.

But he did feel proud that Hiro had completed his first mission without mishap. So he hugged the little squirrel-boy happily and only said, "Next time, please tell me before you go off like that, all right?"

Sasuke, meanwhile, was engaging in a staring match with the Hebi-chan. They were watched by Hinata, Tenten, Ino, and Choji, the last one snacking like it was an epic sports event. As the rest of the Konoha Twelve noticed this event, they too found themselves watching the silent contestants. A few changed sides, looking first to the imposing Uchiha boy dressed in black, then cutting their gazes over to the shorter but no less imposing girl in a dark snakeskin tube top and skirt with two pale green crystal swords strapped to her back. Both staring individuals had their arms crossed, matching glares of black and green with equal power. In minutes there was no conversation at all in the apartment. In fact it was so silent that Naruto, who had gone into the kitchen for refreshments, thought everyone had left until he came out and saw the circle around Sasuke and the Hebi-chan.

"It's an epic stare-off between former Orochimaru subordinates Uchiha Sasuke and the Hebi-chan," murmured Shippo, speaking like a sports newscaster watching a major event. "Who will emerge victorious?"

Suddenly the Hebi-chan opened her mouth. A soft, polite, and slightly disappointed voice said, "I was expecting something........more."

There was silence for all of ten seconds. Then came a smothered snigger from Neji. Another followed, this time from Kiba, who stuffed a fist in his mouth to keep it quiet. A smile twitched Gaara's mouth muscles until the young Kazekage's lips seemed to go into a seizure fit.

Hiro said, clueless as a clam, "I thought you couldn't speak, Hebi-chan!"

The girl looked past the steadily stiffening Uchiha to him. "I never said I couldn't. I just wouldn't when you asked. I had to be sure you would not hurt me. And my name is Hari, thank you very much." Her polite tone dropped a little to reveal some condescending attitude.

But Naruto was quick to catch her on that. His hands on his hips, he gave the snake girl a hard stare. "Now young lady, no call for such sass. You apologize to Hiro-chan right now."

Hari started to ignore him, but something in those innocent blue eyes caught her. So she looked at Hiro and inclined her head. "My apologies. I was rude, and that was uncalled for. Thank you for rescuing me."

"What about my apology?" Sasuke snarled, glaring at the little snake girl.

Her head rolled until she was staring at Sasuke through a sheaf of her black hair. Boredom fairly dripped from her voice. "For what? I wasn't rude to you. Truth hurts. Deal with it. If you can't, that's tough for you."

That's when the entire room erupted in laughter save for Sai, who finally employed one of his observations correctly. "Sasuke, you just got told by a kid." And - wonder of wonders - the Root operative delivered an insult at the proper time. "You want some ice for that burn?"

Sasuke then leaped across the room at Sai and landed a punch to the Root nin's jaw. He did so for two reasons; one: there was know way in the seven hells that he'd attack a child with Naruto present. Two, not only had he got told by a kid, which enraged him to no end, he had also gotten told by Sai. At least he could get away with attacking Sai in front of Naruto with only minor consequences.

"Sasuke!" Naruto was scandalized. "How dare you do that in front of Hiro-chan and his friends! No wonder Hari expected more. You should be ashamed of yourself!" The lovely foxboy then proceeded to stalk over to his boyfriend and smack him upside the head.****

The Uchiha, in a moment of complete stupidity, commented, "Is that it?"

Naruto, in a very non-Naruto fashion, stared at Sasuke with an indescribable facial expression and said in a low, dangerous voice, "I suggest you heed my advice Uchiha, and watch what you say for the next month or so. You're already on thin ice, remember. We wouldn't want that flaming idiocy of yours to melt that ice and have you fall through, now do we?"

He gave a sweet little manic grin and the cowering, for he was cowering at this point, Uchiha simply nodded his head. "Good," Naruto said as he walked back into the kitchen to fetch more drinks. Then, as an afterthought, he said over his shoulder, "By the way, Sasu-kun, you're sleeping on the couch tonight."

There was a chorus of you-just-got-p'wned "OOOOOHHH!!!!" from the surrounding boys and a couple girls reached to pat Sasuke on the shoulder, apologetic looks on their faces. Then, to add insult to injury, when Naruto returned with a balanced tray of drinks, there was one sippy cup, like the ones babies and toddlers use. A strip of masking tape served as a label, on which was scrawled "SASUKE" in black permanant marker. The blond had a dangerous look that said quite plainly "I dare you to comment or make a move to get a different glass" in his eye. This left Sasuke no choice but to submissively pick up the sippy cup and drink the milk inside.

There was another chorus of sniggering, more silent than before, as Naruto purposely sat next to Gaara with a self-satisfied "Hm!" The blond boy also deliberately ignored Sasuke for the rest of the day, chatting with everyone else but the surly duckbutt-head. The rest of the Konoha Twelve saw this interaction as a form of perverse entertainment - sad, pathetic, and wrong, but so enjoyable on so many levels.

After all, Sasuke was being dissed. What's more fun that that?

Meanwhile the Fur Fighters had taken their newest member on a walk of the town. Hari was very inquisitive, and her polite shell slowly broke down when she realized that nobody stared at her in fear or horror. At Ichiraku Ramen, the owner fixed up a couple bowls of ramen for the children that he let them eat on the stoop as night fell. Nobody spoke as they ate the delicious noodles and broth.

Hari was the first to speak, smacking her lips and licking broth from her cheeks with her serpent tongue. "That was delicious," she announced. "Thanks for the meal."

"Ichiraku Ramen is the best I've ever had," Valac said, still unsteady but tucking into his fifth bowl without mishap. "Puts the fight back into you."

"That's why Papa loves it," Hiro admitted. "He says it's the best pick-me-up ever." The squirrel boy drew his legs up to his chest and rested his hands on his knees, then put his chin on his fingers. "I love it here. It's so safe, and warm, and everyone loves me even though I'm different."

Tsukasa stretched as Kaname yawned. "It's a great place," said the bird boy, "for those of us who've gotten tired of hiding what we are from people."

"I feel safe here," Hanika said softly, swinging her legs childishly. "And I've never felt safe anywhere else before."

"I miss the power of being a forest spirit," Tomoya whined before saying normally, "but it was lonely then. Now I have friends."

"Friends are nice to have," Hikari and Hikaru said in unison.

Shippo giggled. "Having friends is the best!" he exclaimed happily.

"Even if some are pinheads or idiots," Daisuke said, her eyes closed, as she lay across the threshhold. Kaname threw her a dirty look.

Even Kusaka had to agree. "It is nice to have people like you to talk to at the end of the day."

********

Iruka got the shock of his life the next morning. Naruto first entered the classroom holding Hiro's hand - a sight not completely unexpected, since the little boy was recently missing again. What was completely unexpected were the following twelve Fur Fighters, holding each others' hands like a giant follow-the-leader line. Whispers broke out among the cadets as Iruka's eyes bugged out of their sockets.

"Iruka, I gotta ask you for a favor," Naruto said, making the 'please help me' pose of his clasped hands in front of his bowed head. "Can you please take the rest of the Fur Fighters into your class? Please? Please? ?"

Iruka opened his mouth and asked, "Naruto, do you have no concept of self-restraint?"

This was overheard by Kaname and Daisuke, who responded in unison, "Nope, Sasuke's slept on the couch the last few nights. He ain't been gettin' none."

Once the initial awkwardness faded, the Fur Fighters were welcomed by the rest of the class. Once seats were chosen, however, there was an instant problem. Iruka, not knowing the dynamics of the Fur Fighters, had unwittingly put Kaname next to Daisuke, something the fox girl took offense to.

"Hey! Why am I, an obviously more skilled individual, being placed next to an asshole like that?" she yelled, leveling a finger at the unruffled Kaname.

The bat boy shrugged a shoulder. He liked his seat by the window, which let him daydream about flying. So he wasn't paying close attention when he flatly retorted, "Just don't be a nuisance, baka kitsune."

Daisuke, in a flurry of anger, got on the desk and squatted until her face was right in Kaname's. The boy felt his face heat up in surprise when the tip of Daisuke's nose barely brushed his as she growled, "Bastard." Kaname felt his entire body freeze as his brain fought to think past his realization that, despite her gung-ho ass-kick attitude, he thought she had pretty eyes.

They would have stayed in that position for awhile, but unfortunately God was not kind to them. Daisuke's tail was lashing due to her anger, the tip whacking the back of Hiro's head over and over again. The squirrel-boy endured as best he could, but he reached his breaking point in good time. "OW!" he yelled, wildly smacking the tail away without looking where he was flailing.

Silence descended over the classroom. Iruka stared at the odd picture - Daisuke, having been pushed from behind, fallen forward to kiss Kaname full-on the mouth since the bat boy was rigid in shock. _Now where have I seen that before?_ the sensei thought, scratching his head. _Deja vu_, he added then they broke apart, choking and spitting, while screaming how they'd kill each other. _This is about to get extremely interesting. It's like the Konoha Thirteen all over again._

* * *

**And so begins a new arc in the Fur Fighter's story! Please stay tuned, comment and rate!**

**A.N.**

*** - Not like Gaara's, more like a slim line of eyeliner around her eyes.**

**** - Think the girl from "The Ring" - Samara.**

***** - This is a nod to the manga _Our Kingdom_. We love Rei!!!!**

****** - Naruto employs a version of the Gibbs-slap here.**


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Camping Stories of Old!**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: We would love to own _Naruto_, but only Kishimoto has that right.**

**And be happy, faithful readers! Red is finally joining and posting her own works!**

**Red: Yare, yare. Yup! I am indeed but my laptop no likey the internet most of the time so .... yea. And idk what else to say so ... RAWR!**

**DemonClowSorceress: *sweatdrop* Anyway, she'll be around as RedJadeItachi. Now please enjoy this chapter!!**

* * *

The next month, Iruka suddenly announced to the class that the cadets would have an impromptu exam in the form of a three-day camping trip. This was met with a chorus of groans from every child in the room.

Shippo, despite having lived in a hut made of sticks and brush for most of his life, cocked his head to the side and asked, "What's camping?"

"Living outdoors without toilet paper or nightlights, finding your own food that's not frozen, eat-in or take out, no indoor plumbing, and trying not to get killed and/or eaten by the creepy creatures that go bump in the night," said Hari in a deadpan voice, not opening her eyes or moving her head from its propped place on her fist. The snake girl hadn't completely lost her creepy factor, since she refused to go anywhere without at least one of her many crystal blades on her person. Today's weapon du jour was a pair of pale green hair sticks with spike-ball tops and needle-sharp ends.

"That's it? It sounds like fun!" Shippo exclaimed, clapping his hands happily.

Iruka took the opportunity to speak some more about the trip. "We'll be camping along the shoreline of Hiatsu Lake, where the river feeds into it. The ground can get soggy in the rainy season, so be sure to pack everything in plastic bags so nothing gets ruined."

"It sounds horrible," Hikari said with a slightly disgusted expression on her face. Hikaru shared her sentiment; the cat twins hated to get wet.

Kaname yawned so loudly his jaw cracked. "Why are _we_ learning survival training? We've been doing it all our lives."

"And here we go," sighed Tsukasa, rolling his black eyes. "Kaname, most - kids - didn't have our upbringing. So this is more for them."

Thankfully the bell sounded, so class let out for the day. The Fur Fighters quickly grouped together and set out towards the Nara house. Several were looking forward to the camping trip, most notably Hiro, whose experiences outside of Konohagakure were limited to his adventures. He was particularly excited about proving to his Papa and Tou-chan how far he'd come in the almost-year since they'd found him.

Hiro suddenly thought about the past year and looked over himself. His body had grown again - he was just south of four feet by a few inches. His fur had shrank back again as well, leaving him with just his tail, his cowl, and a small band of fur around his wrists like sweatbands.

The rest of the Fur Fighters had undergone some drastic changes as well. Tomoya's fur had also mostly disappeared, just leaving shorts and a vest along with his tail and ears, as had Shippo's. Tsukasa's feathery cloak had shrunk; instead of the hem touching the ground, it fluttered at his knees. Hanika's puffy dress had shrank so much that Hinata had to locate a skirt that matched the fur's color. Only the Fur Fighters who hadn't possessed much of their animalistic sides in the beginning - Kaname, Daisuke, Hari, Mei, and the cat twins - showed little change.

"It's because we're with tall-humans, I guess," Tsukasa had theorized. "We're blending in better. We're losing what makes us fur-children."

_I don't think I want to change anymore,_ Hiro thought, looking at the band of fur around his left wrist. He slid his finger under it and pulled up; the band lifted like a rubber band. _I liked me as me._

The Fur Fighters found Kusaka and Valac, the only children in their merry band exempt from school, engaged in a game of Risk on the back porch. A neatly stacked pile of mahjong tiles, playing cards, jacks, and what looked like every children's board game in Konoha (including a freshly-battered Candyland set) showed what the two had been doing most of the day. Yoshi-mama* leaned against the doorframe, tee-heeing every few minutes.

Kusaka and Valac were also showing signs of change. The blue-haired girl was noticeably fitter, while Valac's spiky red hair was beginning to lengthen. Both had gained inches; Valac was the tallest Fur Fighter at four foot three, with Kusaka only a couple centimeters behind. Both sat cross-legged across from one another, arms folded over their chests with matching looks of concentration on the board. Valac's forces far surpassed Kusaka's; if the girl was lucky, she had an army of three hundred backed into the corner of the continent staring down the harsh reality that was Valac's ten thousand.

The redhead could barely contain his smile. "Your butt is mine, Saka. You can't make a move that can save you. Just accept it and forfiet."

Kusaka gave him a glance, looked back at the board, and placed a piece at the forefront of her army. "High Mage," she said, "powered by more than five other Mages." She touched seven like-colored pieces. "Combo spell. Damage - fifty thousand."

"What the - !" Valac gaped at her, then at the board. "Where the hell did you get eight Mages from? You've only got soldiers!"

"They're green, dumbass. Soldiers are red, Mages are green. The High Mage is purple."

"You know I'm colorblind!" he snapped.

Kusaka let a sarcastic smirk raise her lips and lifted one eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"I hate you," Valac announced, crossing his arms like a child.

Kusaka smirked. "That's what you said when you walked into that pool of - "

"Hey, hey, HEY! That was a long time ago, you stupid ice dragon - !" Valac saw the Fur Fighters emerging from the doorway along with Yoshi-mama and hurriedly added, " - girl! Ice dragon-girl! Geez, Saka, you're so cold sometimes, it's like you're not even human."

Kusaka rolled her eyes and spared a few brain cells to think _You stupid idiot_ before turning around. "Hey. What's got you all so happy?"

Hiro quickly told the two of the upcoming camping trip (since he didn't view it as an exam) and how he hoped his Papa and Tou-chan would be just as excited. Yoshi-mama chuckled. "I remember when Shikamaru had to go on that trip. Actually, everyone from the Konoha Twelve had a very interesting experience."

"Really?" Hiro asked, intrigued. His fathers never spoke of their pasts, and Hiro knew only what he could overhear after he went to bed. "What kind of s'perience, Yoshi-mama?"

And with the "oh goodie, I get to tell embarassing stories to the grandkids" look on her face, Yoshi-mama told the children the epic story of their nii-chans' and nee-chans' first camping trip at the tender age of six.......

**~~~Flashback, 10 Years Ago~~~**

"All right everyone, get into your groups now." Iruka-sensei directed the group of cadets towards the campground. "Pitch your tents and settle in. We'll start assignments in twenty."

Yoshino, as one of the chaperones, folded her arms and watched as the twenty-odd students scattered and began unpacking their tents and supplies. There were those three seven-year-olds who performed well in the exam last year, brought along as role models - Hyuuga Neji, who stuck to himself, was watching Tenten and Lee set up a tent quite easily. However, the rest of the class wasn't as practiced. Yoshino saw Shikamaru with Choji, staring up at the clouds while the other boys in their group struggled to put up their tent. Kiba and Akamaru were already racing into the woods despite their groupmates' shouts to come help. Shino's group wasn't making much headway either, since they were all kind of weirded out by the bug-boy. Hinata, Sakura and Ino weren't even bothering to pretend to help; the latter two's eyes were glued on Sasuke, while Hinata watched Naruto.

These two boys were in the same group, something both had accepted tamely (Remember, this is before all the trauma of the Uchiha massacre that turned Sasuke into an emo asshole). Sasuke was stringing wires for the tent to hang from while Naruto was employing his one talent - boiling water for instant ramen. They didn't speak to each other, but it wasn't a bad atmosphere - rather, there was just no reason for them to communicate.

Until one of the nastier boys walked up behind Naruto and kicked the little blond boy in the butt. There was a surprised shout from Hinata as Naruto tried not to fall face-first into the pot of boiling water, or worse, the open fire. He managed to twist his body to the side, landing on his shoulder and rolling away from the firepit and his attacker. Propping himself up on his elbows, Naruto glared at the boy defiantly without a hint of tears.

Yoshino was impressed despite herself. _Kid's tough. Not many can handle that kind of trauma without crying. Even Shikamaru would've cried a little from a burn._

"Hey! My dad says you're a monster!" announced the tormentor, his hands on his hips as he smirked down on Naruto. "Monsters should burn in heck!" Then he turned and ran back to his group, who slapped his back and congratulated him as Naruto got to his feet.

Sasuke had come over as Naruto brushed off his knees. "You okay?" the little Uchiha asked.

"What do you care?" retorted Naruto, stalking off.

Yoshino's attention was diverted from the two boys by another individual coming up to her. He stood beside her and said, "Well that wasn't completely unexpected, huh Miss Yoshino?"

She sighed. Only eleven years old, Uchiha Itachi was on this training exercise for two reasons; one, his father couldn't attend as a chaperone and so he was the next choice, and two, this was a necessary requirement for him to advance into the ANBU corps. Yoshino didn't really care one way or another, because genius or not, this kid was her subordinate. So she ruffled his head with a grin. "Hey Itachi."

"Big Brother!" came Sasuke's voice, making both chunin look to where the little Uchiha was running towards his brother at full speed. As if his arm had a spring in it Itachi held up his hand and caught his little brother square in the forehead, stopping him cold in his tracks. Sasuke's little arms flailed in a futile attempt to hug his older brother from two feet away. "Play with me!"

"Not today, Sasuke," Itachi said gently, smiling a little. "Why don't you play with your friends?"

Sasuke looked over his shoulder, where all the other cadets were scurrying for their tents. "I don't have any friends," he said bluntly, shrugging one shoulder.

Yoshino watched Itachi's eyes rove around before landing on Naruto, who was by the lakeshore practicing a taijutsu move. But not any ordinary move - he was awkwardly but purposefully stepping through a complicated technique that Itachi had developed at the age of seven and nobody else had ever even attempted.

Except for Naruto, who had succeeded to using the move almost flawlessly.

Itachi quietly walked up behind the blond-haired child and said, "Hey, that's not b - " But he swallowed his words when Naruto whirled around, drawing a kunai from frickin' nowhere (actually, from his sleeve) and angling it right at Itachi's...............biological equipment. Hard blue eyes that had seen hell glared up at Itachi.

The eleven-year-old blinked, his hands up in surrender. "I'm unarmed, and I come in peace."

"Bullsh*t," spat the blond instantly.

_Suspicious little brat,_ Yoshino thought, raising an eyebrow.

Itachi spoke again. "Hey, why don't you play with that kid over there?" he said, pointing to where Sasuke was throwing shuriken at a tree. "He could use the training."

"Nobody trains with Uchiha Sasuke," Naruto grumbled, pulling the kunai away from Itachi's man-business. "He's too good for everyone because he beats them." There was a little bitterness in his voice.

"But hey, if you train with him, you can get better," Itachi said wisely. "Maybe you could even beat him." The right thing to say, since Naruto's eyes began to glow with determination towards this new goal. "Well, go get him, Naruto."

The blond stalked over to Sasuke, who by now had used all his shuriken and was currenty trying to pull them out of the tree trunk with little success. "Hey! Uchiha Sasuke!" he yelled.

"WHAT?!" Sasuke yelled without turning around, still trying to yank his throwing stars from the tree. His yell jolted a couple people out of thier tents and put them under the impression that there was about to be a fight.

With the assurance of of an idiot way over his head, Naruto leveled a finger at the black-haired boy. "I challenge you!"

"To what?" Sasuke asked, not paying attention. He put his foot on the trunk and used the extra leverage to try and yank a stubborn shuriken from the tree.

"Shuriken throwing match!" Naruto announced, unaware that his loud shouting was drawing a crowd. "First to draw blood wins!"

Yoshino saw no hesitation as Sasuke pulled the last shuriken from the tree, faced Naruto with a grin that said _Hurray! A challenge!_ and said, "You're on!"

"Bring it!" Naruto replied, getting his own weapons ready.

**~~~Present Day~~~**

"So, Ita-nii-chan set up Papa and Tou-chan?" Hiro asked, sitting up straighter.

Yoshi-mama looked around her captive audience with a raised eyebrow. "Not exactly, Hiro-chan. Remember, your fathers didn't understand their feelings towards each other until just before they adopted you. Back then, Itachi was just trying to sow friendship seeds for his little brother."

"Friendship comes from seeds?" Shippo asked, confused.

Everyone rolled their eyes as Yoshi-mama continued her story.....

**~~~10 Years Ago~~~**

Iruka read off a list of names, breaking the children into pairs for shuriken practice. "Shikamaru, Choji. Kiba, Shino. Sakura, Ino - no catfighting, and don't get any closer than five feet." The two girls huffed and glared each other down before squaring off.

Soon everyone was paired off and practicing their shuriken throwing. Everyone, that is, except for Naruto and Sasuke. They both sported injuries from their match the previous day - Naruto had a slice across his cheek and through the whisker-marks on his left cheek, while Sasuke had a cut on his right arm. But despite being in loads of trouble, neither looked particularly worried about Iruka's wrath.

"Well, yesterday was a wonderful display of the misuse of ninja weapons," Iruka said, gritting his teeth as he smiled through all the anger tics on his face. "It was brilliantly executed, incredibly stupid, highly dangerous, and above all, a stunt that could have severely injured your fellow cadets."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Well, they _dodged,_" he said in a "duh" tone of voice.

"It's not like we're _babies_," Naruto said in the same tone. "We _are_ responsible. Ish."

Iruka's grin looked like it was about to snap in half. "Well then, since the two of you are _such responsible little tykes_, you'll be in charge of supplying the class with dinner tonight." He jerked his head to Mizuki-sensei and Yoshino, then towards the path that led to the river. "We will go along to observe and supervise. Itachi, you will stay here and watch the rest of the camp.

A strangely demonic smile curved the young genius's lips. If Yoshino tilted her head a little, she could imagine a pair of devil wings and a tail pop into existance to complete the picture of evil. "If you trust me to, Iruka-sensei, then of course."

Yoshino, Mizuki, and Iruka led Naruto and Sasuke to the shore of Hiatsu Lake. It was a gorgeous spring day, and the thaws were melting the snow near the top of the mountains. The melted snow flowed into the river that fed into Hiatsu Lake, swelling the river to almost twice its size and depth. They stopped at the riverbank before anything happened.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "It takes three chunin to watch two six-year-old cadets these days?" He slapped his knee and yelled, "_MAN, _standards have fallen!"

"Unbelieveable," Sasuke said with the tone of a parent with a child who can't grasp a concept, shaking his head sadly. "And Big Brother deals with you _every day_? No wonder he's considered a genius, next to you people - "

"ENOUGH!" Iruka snapped as Yoshino fought to keep her composure; rather than piss her off, she found the two boys' statements to be extremely entertaining. "All right, the two of you have to catch enough fish to feed your classmates, us, and Itachi. From this river. And it has to be done before sunset. But there are rules!" he added just as Sasuke began to gather chakra and Naruto pulled a kunai from his pouch. "One, no using chakra for _any _reason."

"What?" Sasuke cried as if Iruka had denied him brotherly love from Itachi.

"Two, no help from us. And three, no kunai or shuriken."

Naruto looked like he'd been denied ramen and faced a bowlful of spinich. "WHAT?!"

"You have to be able to survive with nothing but the stuff in your packs and without weapons." Iruka pointed to the river. "Get moving. You'll need about sixty pounds of fish to feed everybody."

_Well, that stumped them,_ Yoshino thought, watching the two children. _Bet they're gonna whine and pout and - up, no, no, what is this?_ she wondered as Sasuke pulled out a length of string from his pouch and gave an end to Naruto. The blond nodded and they started weaving a net from the black string. In half an hour they had a decent-sized net that was as long as the narrowest part of the river (around twenty feet) and about eight feet wide. Sasuke crossed the river via a few stones that jutted above the waterline, dragging the net behind him. Naruto stayed on the original shore, playing out the slack.

For a couple minutes, there was only the sound of the rushing water. Naruto kept his eyes trained upriver at the rapids, while Sasuke fiddled with something in his hand. Yoshino watched, expecting something incredible from two such interesting children.

She was not disappointed. Sasuke gave a cry and threw something upriver. There was a giant BAM! Fish jumped above the waterline and headed downstream to flee from the explosion. Right, as it so happened, for Naruto and Sasuke's net. Naruto kept up a steady mantra of "Wait for it.......Wait for it.......Waaaaaaiiit foooooor iiiiiiiiit......" until he looked up and asked, "Sasuke, should we pull now?"

"What, wha - " Sasuke, quickly put on the spot, saw the fishes entering their net. "Look, fish! Pull!"

Fwump!! Fish got caught in net, thrown up into the air.

Chik! Heads, neatly severed by black wire net, were cut off in midair.

Splat! The headless fish landed on the ground in neat rows.

Plop! The severed heads piled up at the edge of the river.

The two kids nodded, smirked and said, "Win," before exchanging high-fives.

Iruka and Mizuki's mouths were hanging loose like drip-dry laundry while Yoshino's sides were about to split from laughter.

**~~~Present Day~~~**

There was a sudden sigh. "How troublesome. Why are you telling them that story?" Hiro and Co. looked back to see Shika-nii-chan leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, giving his mother the trademark Shikamaru expression.

Yoshi-mama chuckled. "But it was such a nice adventure, Shikamaru. Especially when we came back to the camp and you were all crying like babies!"

Shika-nii-chan rolled his eyes. "And if you'd been six and in our position, you wouldn't have been scared witless." He snapped his fingers. "Oh wait, you're the Devil. So I guess it would've been just like home."

There was a large tic mark on Yoshi-mama's forehead that signified her anger. Through a clearly forced smile she ground out, "O~oh? Do explain, my son, why my description was so lacking in explaination."

"Troublesome," sighed Shika-nii-chan, "but since you asked....." He gestured that the Fur Fighters face him and told of the forty-five minute period between the senseis' departure and their return with dinner......

**~~~10 Years Ago (Two Minutes After Yoshino and Co. Left)~~~**

When the senseis left with Naruto and Sasuke, they left Itachi in charge. It took all of two minutes for Shikamaru and the other Konoha Twelve munchkins to realize that it wasn't a good idea.

First, the Uchiha prodigy leapt up into the giant tree and situated himself among the branches like a spoiled prince. Then, he summoned all the cadets out for an important announcement. By the time they realized what had happened, the sky had turned black, the sun was red, and demonic creatures were crawling from every crack and crevice around the campground.

After the initial scurry for cover, Shikamaru found himself in a tent with the group of children who would soon be known as the Konoha Twelve. He glanced around the interior and saw Ino, Hinata, and Sakura crying in the corner. Choji sidled up beside Shikamaru and muttered, "Hey, you think there's any food in here?"

"How troublesome, being chased into a tent," the lazy Nara genius said. "At least those pesky demons aren't coming in here."

Those words made everyone stop and look over to him. The Hyuuga boy - Neji - raised an eyebrow. "Hey, you're right. None of them are coming in here."

Kiba sniffed at the edge of the tent flap curiously. "It smells like sulfer and brimstone outside. But not in here."

"My kikaichu are tingling," said the mysterious Shino, making everybody stare at him like he spoke English. Seeing their looks he explained calmly, "My bugs. There's a lot of chakra out there."

Shikamaru nodded. "Aburame, right? Then you'd be Inuzuka, you with the red fang marks," he said, pointing to Kiba next. _Along with two Hyuuga, and I think the blonde girl's a Yamanaka, Choji as an Akimichi, and me as a Nara..........the hell's with this random genetic jackpot? Not to mention Haruno Sakura, the smartest kunoichi in our year, and those other teammates of the Hyuuga guy. How unbelievably troublesome._

"Does anyone else think this is a little weird?" asked Sakura, brushing her bangs nervously. "I mean, those demons don't seem to want to come in here."

Neji glanced around with his Byakugan. "There doesn't seem to be many enemies. But not all the cadets appeared to have run as quickly as you all did." Of course, the way he said that made certain children curious. Namely Kiba, Choji, and Ino, who proceeded to creep to the tent flap and peep out.

Ino gave a little scream. "They're eating their brains!"

"No, stupid blonde," Choji snapped. "They're just nomming their skulls. They're demons, not zombies."

Kiba's sharp nose then smelled something else. "That guy in the tree is the boss devil," he announced, pointing up to where the King (who was Itachi concealed by his genjutsu of win) was sitting and watching the carnage smugly from his perch.

Despite already calling the whole situation troublesome, Shikamaru's genius brain had already churned out a good plan of attack. Once he explained it to them, the rest of the kiddie Konoha cadets readied themselves for the upcoming attack. At a signal from Neji, they all burst out of the tent and raced towards the tree.

When Iruka-sensei, Mizuki-sensei, and Yoshino returned with Naruto and Sasuke carrying dinner, this is what they saw - the majority of the cadets on the ground crying or unconscious, while the Konoha Twelve were attacking Itachi's perch, the Uchiha genius easily deflecting all their attacks. Yoshino was about to crack up laughing when Sasuke saw his brother in the tree and yelled, "Big Brother!"

"He's your big brother?!" yelled Naruto, sounding surprised. This was the yell that made everything stop on a dime. As one the entire group turned to see the blond fox boy leveling a finger at what they thought was the King of Hell. "Itachi?!"

Sasuke rounded on Naruto. "DUH! Who else did you think?! He's _Uchiha Itachi_!" he said proudly.

But rather than be impressed, Naruto flipped off Itachi as the genjutsu wore off and yelled, "Y-You - damn.....sneaky! - weasel - bastard! You set me up!"

**~~~Present Day~~~**

Shikamaru sighed, ingorant of how his mother was fuming from his hijacking of the storyline. "In the end, it was truly a troublesome experience."

Then he was decked from behind by something orange. "Shikamaru! What stupid laziness are you telling my children?" Naruto snapped, stepping onto the porch.

Hiro immediately ran into his Papa's embrace. "Don't be mad, Papa! Yoshi-mama and Shika-nii-chan were telling us how Ita-ni-chan set you and Tou-chan up during your camping exam!"

Naruto blinked once, then again. "I don't think that was his intention, Hiro-chan. Actually, I know that wasn't......wait." He shot both Naras an electric blue glare. "What exactly did you tell them?"

Yoshi-mama smirked. "We stopped right before karaoke - "

"Papa did karaoke?" Hiro squealed, bouncing up and down. "What song? What song?"

"OH-KAY! Home we go!" Naruto said, starting to blush as he herded the Fur Fighters out of the house. "Time to go now! Big day coming up! Gotta get ready!"

* * *

**I'm sorry it's taken so long to post, but we had severe writer's block and Red had to gripe at her laptop for having no internet. Oh, and for those who like Criminal Minds, check out my new oneshot, Standard-Issue BAU Guardian Angel. Guarantee you'll like it!**

**A.N.**

*** - Shika's mom.**


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Camping, Cliffs, Crawfish, Holes, Flying, and a Strange Girl!?**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: We do not own _Naruto_, but if we did, there would be such change in pairings and deaths, you don't even know........**

* * *

Three days later saw the entire six-year-old cadet class waiting by the village gates, fidgeting under the weight of bedrolls, supplies, and weapons. Several talked in excited whispers about the trip, having heard from parents or older siblings about the perils of camping in the woods around Konohagakure. Many of the boys were bragging about how unafraid they were. Groups of girls swore to use the buddy-system so none would be eaten by wild animals, or worse, surprised and humiliated by the boys.

Naruto looked at Sasuke. "Exactly how did we get roped into chaperone duty again? I was confused somehow, when did this happen?"

"You? Confused? Gee, there's something new," the black-haired duckbutt Uchiha grumbled before recieving a 'stuff-it' glare from the blond. "Well, to answer your question, the class is substantially bigger than ours was, so it's only natural that more chaperones are needed."

"But all of us?" Naruto asked. His arm swept out to include Teams 7, 8, 10, and Team Gai, standing tall as giants among the little midget cadets. "Isn't that a little overkill?"

Sakura rolled her eyes and slugged his shoulder, putting a little superhuman punch in her fist. "Moron. It's so the rest of the Academy senseis can teach the other classes. This way only Iruka-sensei has to come."

"And Kakashi-sensei," added Naruto, pointing to the puff of smoke that signalled the arrival of a familiar tardy silver-haired jonin. "He's coming too. Dunno why, though."

_And he wonders why we always leave when those two want to talk about 'top secret missions' in Iruka's bedroom,_ Sasuke and Sakura thought, sighing heavily. _Idiot__, can't you read the signs?_

"Papa! Tou-chan!" Hiro's voice made all three teammates look over as the squirrel-boy ran over and tackled Sakura's middle in a hug. "And Sakura-nee-chan! You're all here!"

Switching to loving aunt mode, Sakura ruffled the fur on top of his head between his squirrel ears. "Of course Hiro-chan! We're so happy to be here! You're going to love this trip."

The young squirrel-boy cracked his knuckles. "Don't worry, Sakura-nee-chan! If there's another scary demon attack, me and the Fur Fighters will defend you!" He punched his fist into the air. "Let's have fun on this exam!"

"Yeah!" responded the Fur Fighters, their fists meeting his in a giant fist-pound.

It took over three hours to reach Hiatsu Lake, but the cadets were whining plenty when they finally arrived. Iruka directed the cadets to set up their tents and get their gear stored away. The girls were able to share a tent, while the boys had to split between two tents. After they unpacked, the Fur Fighters returned to the center camping ground to hear what Iruka-sensei had to say about their upcoming exams.

"All right now, these next few days will be a cumulative examination of your skills in ninjutsu, taijutsu, and general knowledge of weapons and abilities. You will be placed in teams to simulate how you will be grouped once you graduate. This will help create a group dynamic that many genin teams rely on to win fights and survive as a unit." Iruka-sensei's words captivated most of the children, making their eyes go all big-anime-glassy as they imagined themselves as fully quaified ninja. "Those skills will serve you later in life, as the Konoha Twelve can attest to."

"You kidding me, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto said with a grin, folding his hands behind his head and winking at the kids. "We survived because we're badass ninja! Duh!"

"Yeah, we're kinda amazing because of our clan skills," Kiba replied, hooking his arm around Shino's neck and grinning just as widely as Naruto.

Shikamaru crossed his arms and gave the other two boys a look. "Although some have both skill _and _brains," he said pointedly.

"While some have awesome _kekkai genkai,_" interjected Neji modestly, earning a nod of agreement from Sasuke.

Hiro giggled when he noticed that Iruka-sensei looked annoyed by Hiro's nii-chans' answers. The dark-skinned man coughed before continuing. "Um, anyway, the purpose of this exam period is to see who among you right now has what it takes to become a ninja of Konhagakure. Bear in mind, however, that this will not be as easy as in the classrooms. If you do not pass the tests, it's not a critical loss. It won't count against your final permanant grade, so you can relax a bit." There was an audible whoosh of air as the assembled children exhaled as one in relief.

Tsukasa yawned, stretching his little wings and arms in tandem. "So.....what's on the agenda first?" he asked, absently preening while the girls in the class tittered and swooned.

Iruka-sensei shook his head, a smirk of amusement touching his face. "First is dinner. You'll have to forage for your food, and now's as good a time as any. You can ask for tips from the Konoha Twelve, but absolutely no help will be accepted from them." He delivered this rule with a significant glance at Sasuke and Naruto, probably thinking that they would take the time to help Hiro and his friends.

But Naruto shook his head with his own grin. "Why you lookin' over here, Iruka-sensei? Your students are heading off in that direction," he said, pointing at the disappearing dust cloud trailing behind the Fur Fighters.

********

Tomoya leaned over and sniffed the surface of the water. "I think there's crawfish in here," he announced to Hanika, not breaking eye contact with the river. "I like crawfish. And berries. Actually, any type of food. Even worms are tasty, you know. You want any crawfish?"

The rabbit-girl turned a delicate shade of green. "Um, no thank you. I'll be fine." She poked around the blackberry bushes and started plucking handfuls of berries into her hip pouch, being careful not to smash them. "How can you stand to eat anything that comes your way?"

"I know what it's like to starve." The normally jolly Tanuki-chan was very somber when he revealed this information. "My first memory was that I was starving and had to find something to eat. It was really bad." His little ears visibly drooped, as did his tail. "I ate anything and everything. I even ate rotting meat that I found in trashcans when everything else was gone. It made me sick all the time."

Hanika looked at his back, twisting the hem of her skirt. She knew nothing of starving that badly; saying 'Chu' allowed her to summon her favorite food whenever she wanted. Of course Tomoya, with his statue-summoning cry of 'Shiny', had to resort to seeking other forms of nourishment.

"Hiro-chan said......that you were pretending to be a forest spirit."

Tomoya laughed hollowly. "Yup. I scared a traveler into giving me his food - I was nearly mad with hunger and used my word too much. But the next thing I knew, there was a shrine built and offerings of food left at regular intervals." Looking back at her, he gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I never starved again. But I never forgot that feeling."

Hanika opened her mouth to apologize, but the boy quickly returned to his gazing into the river. He gave a sudden cry and plunged both hands into the water with a giant splash. When they came back out, five scrabbling and squirming crawfish were clutched in his hands.

"Excellent!" Tomoya crowed, shoving them into his hip pouch. "A couple more lucky catches like this, and we can have a good dinner!" He then knelt at the riverbank again and watched the water intently.

A squishing sound made him tilt his head. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hanika's yellow sandals come closer, then she knelt beside him as well. "I'll help," she offered. "How do you catch crawfish?"

********

Farther up the river, Hikari and Hikaru were scooping fish out with relative ease. Tsukasa was up a tree picking apples. Shippo hung from his tail, happily giggling at the exploits of Mei as she dug for hidden caches of roots and nuts left by other animals.

"You know, you can help too," Mei called up to the monkey boy.

Shippo munched on a banana. "Why? We can summon our own food."

"We should still learn to search," said Tsukasa wisely, plucking another apple and dropping it into the pile beneath him. "What if we're in a situation where we can't summon food? It's a necessary skill."

Mei sighed, continuing to dig under the apple tree. "Well, mine is an obvious need. I mean, the only thing I can use my bones for is fighting or gnawing."

The cat twins finished their fishing and brought the slippery, flapping fish under the apple tree. Hikari looked up at Tsukasa anxiously. "Please be careful, Tenshi-chan," she called. "Don't hurt yourself."

"I won't. I have excellent balance." His wings fully extended, Tsukasa stretched as far as he could along the branch for the last apple. His fingertips brushed the skin of the delicious fruit, wiggling to gain a grip on it. "Just a - little farther - " He leaned forward, straining to reach it.......

And the branch he sat on snapped halfway through, dropping him and startling the boy enough to make him topple off the branch. His wings reflexively spread open even though his mind knew he couldn't fly and his little wings wouldn't be able to support his weight. He saw Shippo reach for him, but the little monkey boy's hand missed his by an inch. Tsukasa squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for a hard landing.

"Kyaa!" screamed a female voice. A thin object wrapped around Tsukasa's ankle, halting his fall. He hesitantly opened one eye and saw a pink ribbon holding him up, the other end tied around a sturdy rod held by one black-and-white cat girl. "Are you all right?" Hikari asked breathlessly, struggling to hold him aloft.

Tsukasa's mind was whirling from the new information, but he could only ask one thing. "So....'Kyaa' is your word?"

********

In the deeper part of the forest, Hari slithered through the underbrush as quietly as her snake heritage allowed. Her tongue flicked out from time to time, assisting her in her search for food.

Being with the Fur Fighters had drastically changed the Hebi-chan. When she served Orochimaru, she had no qualms about hunting her food in open spaces and devouring it in front of others. But now, with her new mannerisms and the fact that her friends were mostly what she ate, she felt the need to feed herself in seclusion. Tasting the air, she chanced upon a nest of mice and, with a few quick stabs of her crystal hair chopstick, ate the whole rodent family off the skewer.

Hari lifted an eyebrow when she saw Kusaka and Valac passing by, but she thought very little of it. She knew that the two were very secretive beings, each with their own reasons for keeping to themselves and only seeking out each other's company. But the snake girl still found herself listening in on their conversation.

"Saka, this is serious," Valac said in a firm voice. "Where is your jewel? I can't get a firm read on you. It's like you're only half here."

The blue-haired girl shrugged, seemingly agitated. "For the last time, I don't know where it is. When I came to, I didn't have it. It wasn't until I found those kids that I poofed to this form. Energy conservation, I guess."

Valac rolled his eyes. But then, quite unexpectedly, a smile graced his features. "Oh, then I can actually do stuff that you can't? Excellent." He grabbed Kusaka's arms and pulled her close to him, yanking out a chain from under his shirt. Hari saw something red glowing on the chain right before Valac's feet lifted off the ground, taking Kusaka with him.

Hari swallowed her mouthful as the two children did a Peter Pan-esque flight for a few minutes. While the Hebi-chan had seen a lot of stuff in her time, she'd never seen anything quite as........well, innocent.......before. Kusaka's normally somber expression had been replaced by one of pure happiness, her smile a testament to the wonderful experience. Valac smiled as well, a fond smile on his face as he guided her through the skies.

When the rainclouds began to form, Valac and Kusaka touched down. Hari took the opportunity to walk out and join them, showing her half-full pouch of edible flowers and roots. They discussed ideas for food while heading back to camp.

And Hari kept what she saw to herself.

********

Daisuke stubbornly pressed on into the woods, trusting her nose to search for foodstuffs. Her bright green eyes intently scanned the forest vegetation for anything she could harvest.

She was also trying to ignore the annoying bat boy hovering behind her. Grinding her teeth, she rolled her head around before returning to glare at the ground. "You know, you're being very annoying. It's like having an irritating fly that I can't swat."

Kaname snickered. "Admit it. You're glad I'm out here."

"And why would that be?"

"What if you get stuck in the undergrowth?" Kaname asked, swooping around to her side. "Or what if you got lost? You'll need my help."

Daisuke growled eloquently before returning to the task at hand. Her nose sifted through the many scents lacing the air around her, but one scent stood out very prominently. A strange sharp scent, reminiscent of cinnamon with a hint of sulfur. She sneezed twice at the spicy smell.

This made Kaname hover closer. "You all right? Not allergic to anything, right? Cuz that'd just suck."

She rubbed her nose and scowled at him. "Just buzz off, will ya?"

The black-haired boy shrugged and flew straight up out of the woods. Thanking whatever gods had decided to take pity on her, Daisuke continued to sniff around for food.

After half an hour she had gathered a nice medley of herbs, edible plants, and berries. Daisuke felt satisfied at her accomplishment and turned back to the campground. A storm was coming, she saw, and she wanted to get back before she got soaked.

There was a sharp crack under her foot, much like a stick breaking. Daisuke blinked, then screamed as she plummeted into a deep hole. A sharp knock of pain blossomed on the side of her head, making her almost black out. Another flower of pain exploded in her ankle, which was crumpled underneath her - possibly sprained, or at least twisted.

_Dammit,_ she thought, struggling to sit up. She looked up and saw raindrops plopping down around her. _Crap. Double crap. _She looked around her hole, which now that she paid attention, looked like an abandoned well. _I'm gonna get soaked out here before I get back, then I'm probably gonna get sick, and then - _

"You look like you could use some help."

Daisuke looked up again. Kaname was kneeling beside the well and leaning over the edge, looking down at her. Ice blue eyes almost glowed in the dim, making the red streaks in his hair stand out even more. It might've been the lack of light due to the darkened sky, but Daisuke thought he looked......concerned?

"You gonna stare or are you gonna help me?" she snapped, cheeks burning for some reason.

The bat boy tilted his head to the side. "Can't you get up yourself? Acrobatic kitsune that you are, should be easy."

"My ankle's busted. I fell on it." She waited for the unevitable jibe at her clumsiness or her complete inability to -

"Okay, hang on."

Daisuke looked up and watched as Kaname's wings opened and fluttered, letting him descend gradually to her side. His arms extended towards her. "Come on. Grab a hold."

"Can you carry us both?"

He gave her an 'Are you seriously asking me that?' look. "Trust me, why doncha."

Swallowing the whimper of pain from leaning forward, Daisuke reached up and clasped her hands behind Kaname's neck. He awkwardly picked her up bridal-style, then beat his wings harder to get airborne. Slowly and gradually, the pair began rising up from the well shaft.

She was expecting him to drop her once they cleared the well. But Kaname again surprised her; gaining more altitude, he rose above the forest and flew all the way back to the campground. And not once, during the entire flight, did his grip on her loosen.

********

Hiro thought he had done a very good job at gathering food. True, they were mostly nuts, but they were chestnuts and acorns and other good things. He'd also found some fresh edible plants for others, in case they didn't like nuts. Sure, he could have summoned some nuts, but that would defeat the purpose of foraging, now wouldn't it?

The storm was beginning to break when Hiro decided he had collected enough. He was heading back to the campground when he heard a low snarling coming from the undergrowth. Instinct made him scurry up the nearest tree trunk and nestle in the branches. His ears swiveled around, trying to pin down the location of the snarl.

There was another snarl, followed by a howl and a terrified shriek. The shriek sounded human. Hiro immediately thought it was one of his classmates and jumped through the trees towards the noise. As he got closer, he could hear a girl's high-pitched cry of "Help! Help!" along with a deep barking that he surprisingly recognized. _Why's Akamaru chasing one of my classmates up a tree?_

Hiro reached the area of the barking and screaming and dropped to the ground on all fours. He spied Akamaru's large white form, his front paws up on the tree trunk and barking loudly and insistantly at something cowering in the branches just beyond his reach. Scampering over to sit beside the Inuzuka ninken, Hiro raised his voice to shout, "Akamaru! Akamaru, stop it!"

Akamaru stopped mid-woof, looking down at the small brown fur-wearing boy. "Aroo?" (**Author's Note: Everything Akamaru says in English from this point forward has been translated from canine.**) The dog tilted his head to the side. "Hiro, why are you on the ground?"

Hiro tilted his head as well. "Where else would I be?" he asked. "And why are you harrassing whoever is up there?"

"But Hiro was up in the tree," Akamaru said, sounding confused. "Why are you on the ground now?"

"Huh?" The squirrel boy looked up in the tree, trying to see the person huddling scared in the branches. He spied a face in a flash of lightning from the storm. It wasn't a familiar one, but the face of a complete stranger. "Hey, who's up there?" he asked, craning his neck to look up. "It's okay, Akamaru won't hurt you. Come on down."

There was total silence. Then Hiro's ears were assaulted by the loudest shriek he'd ever heard in his short life. "Chi-denka*!"

Akamaru woofed in surprise when a brown mass about the same size as Hiro dropped from the branches right on top of the squirrel boy. Hiro could barely see past the auburn-tinged brown hair and struggled to breathe as the repeated shriek of "Chi-denka! Chi-denka!" sounded off next to his tortured ear. Reacting on instinct, he shoved the clinging shouter off of him and jumped to his feet.

What he saw shocked him.

His attacker was just a bit shorter than his own height of three-foot-six. Obviously female, she had long hair of a very dark auburn. Her clothes were very smiliar to the kind Hiro had worn early in his life, comprised of a short fur skirt and a brown tube top with a furry shrug, colored the same shade as her hair. The girl was also wearing what looked like a headband and - and -

Hiro's eyes widened. She had squirrel ears, same as him. _A squirrel girl?_

Beautiful hazel eyes stared at Hiro with a mixture of adoration and relief, as well as a disturbing measure of what Hiro had come to recognize as hero worship. He was beginning to feel very uncomfortable, so he cleared his throat nervously and asked, "Um, who are you?"

The squirrel girl gave a squeak and hurriedly sat in seiza position**, bowing low to him. "Please forgive my lapse in courtesy, Chi-denka," she said. "I did not mean to be so rude, it's just......." Raising her head, she beamed at Hiro. "I've been searching for you for months, and now I've finally found you!"

Hiro couldn't follow her. "Who are you, squirrel girl?"

Again she bowed low, forehead almost touching the ground. When she looked up again, her expression held confusion. "My name is Momoka, Chi-denka. I am the daughter of one of your vassals, do you not remember?"

"I don't know any Momoka," Hiro said, "and I'm not Chi-denka. My name is Hiro. Uzuha Hiro." He spoke his name with great pride, earning a bark of agreement from Akamaru.

Momoka's face grew even more confused. "Chi-denka, what are you saying? You are the prince of our clan. Don't you remember?"

"Prince? Me?" Hiro laughed so hard his legs collapsed, forcing him to lean against Akamaru's side. The large white canine likewise gave a rousing chorus of barks. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Please tell me you're joking."

"This is a matter of utmost importance, Chi-denka." Momoka was beginning to look very uncomfortable and angry. "How can you take this so lightly? Why, if you don't complete your - "

Her words were suddenly cut off by a loud screech from the skies. Terrified, Momoka launched herself into Hiro's arms with a squeal. His breath was knocked from his body as the girl's arms locked around his torso in panicked fear. And for some odd reason, Hiro's heart was hammering in his chest.

Akamaru woofed in concern, nosing Hiro's face. But this only freaked Momoka out even more, causing her deathgrip around Hiro's waist to tighten even more. Then suddenly, her grip slacked. Hiro caught her in his arms before she slid off onto the ground.

"Raining," Akamaru said unhelpfully as drops of icy liquid fell from the sky in pelting sheets. "Should get back."

"Okay," Hiro said, sitting up. The rain was turning the earth to mud, which was staining his legs and feet. Momoka's lower body was also plastered with mud. "Let's go."

The large white dog cocked his head sideways. "Leaving girl behind?"

"Huh?" The squirrel boy looked at Akamaru in confusion. "Why? I can't leave her. She's annoying and shrieky and strange, but we can't just leave her alone here. The animals will get her." Pulling Momoka onto Akamaru's back, Hiro made sure she wouldn't slide off before crawling on himself. Hiro sat tall and held the unconscious squirrel girl tightly as Akamaru loped back to the campground.

The rain was pouring down when they returned, spattered with mud like a child had thrown clods of the brown goop around in a festive manner without caring where it landed. Akamaru lowered himself down like a camel in front of the joint tent that the Fur Fighters were using. Hiro picked Momoka up on his back and carried her inside, wincing when mud slung from Akamaru's paws as the dog rocketed to his master's tent for shelter.

Inside, he was greeted with an interesting group of sights. Tomoya was heading a committee for dinner, adding this and that to the boiling stewpot in front of them. Hanika was at his left, chopping vegetables and scraping them into the pot. At his right, Mei was busy sniffing the stew happily, her tail wagging nonstop. Tsukasa was lying on his cot, foot propped up with Hikari administering to his ankle. Next to his cot was Daisuke, lying with a bandage on her ankle and her arm, bickering with Kaname. Shippo and Hari, an unusual combination, were playing some sort of card game with Hikaru that involved slapping piles of cards. Kusaka and Valac were playing shogi in a corner, oblivious to the world. The air was full of chatter and laughter.

The sight of Hiro entering with an unknown girl on his back, however, had an instant silencing effect on them. All eyes turned to him in shock before Hanika, Mei, Hikari and Kusaka quickly came over and took her from Hiro, carrying the little squirrel girl to an empty cot. The boys pulled Hiro towards Tsukasa's cot while the girls started to clean and dry Momoka.

"So," Tomoya cackled loudly, hooking his arm around Hiro's neck, "where'd you bring a girl from?"

* * *

**A.N**

*** - Denka is a Japanese suffix that means 'Royal Highness'**

**** - Seiza is the polite way to sit in a Japanese room. That's when they sit with their legs folded underneath their bodies.**


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Cling-ons Are Not Welcome On Missions, Especially If I'm Being Graded!**

**By: DemonClowSorceress and Red**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto. However, the Fur Fighters and all OCC's are figments of our psychotic pair of imaginations. **

**Valac: Oh, so, we're psychotic by affiliation?**

**Red: *big smile* You got it!**

**Kusaka: This explains everything...**

**DemonClowSorceress: Hey everyone, focus here! Let's not blurt to the world just how mad we are, shall we?**

**Kusaka: No, you're doing a bang-up job all by your lonesome...**

**DemonClowSorceress: STUFF IT, LIZARD GIRL!**

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

"Chi-denka!"

Hiro twitched so hard, his head almost jerked totally sideways. Grinding his teeth in a silent snarl, he threw dirty looks at any Fur Fighter (mostly Tomoya and Shippo and Daisuke) who smirked or giggled when Momoka's shout announced her arrival. Everyone else very politely focused on whatever they were doing as she came skipping over and tackle-glomped Hiro from behind.

"Chi-denka!" she squealed, hugging him tightly. "What special-ful, wonderful things have you planned for this fine morning?"

Her shout, however, not only annoyed Hiro, but set in motion another chain of events that was completely avoidable, but nevertheless happened. Across the campground, Naruto sat up, wide awake despite just coming from the sleep of the dead, and said clearly, "Something is not right."

Sasuke roused somewhat less alertly, rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm. "What?"

"Something is bothering Hiro-chan." Quick as a flash (like a Yellow Flash, actually) Naruto shot from their tent and towards his cute little son. He saw Hiro disengaging himself from a red-brown thing and called out, "Hiro-chan?"

"PAPA!" Hiro cried, giving into the flight of his fight-or-flight instincts. For the first time since he broke the two-foot mark he scurried up his father's body until he stood on Naruto's shoulders, clenching handfuls of blond hair to keep stable. "Papa, make it go away! Make it go away!"

"Chi-denka!" Naruto's sensitive ears were assaulted by the confused shriek of Momoka as she jumped to her feet and tried reaching for Hiro. However, since she was only about two-foot-ten, her groping hands came nowhere near close to Hiro. "Chi-denka! Please come down!"

"NO!" Hiro yelled, dancing away from her hands and unintentionally stomping Naruto's shoulders painfully. "No! Papa, make it go away!"

By this time Sasuke had arrived, hair and clothes still mussed from sleep (He's not much of a morning person.) Spying Sakura and Hinata watching the goings-on, he made for them. "Wha's happ'nin?" he yawned. "What's that thing trying to get Hiro?" Then he saw Momoka clearly. "A squirrel girl?"

"That, as your acute genius senses have detected, is indeed another squirrel child," replied Sakura flatly. She was not a morning person either, but chose to take out her grouchiness on the Uchiha. "Hiro-chan brought her back during the thunderstorm last night. She's been squealing over him since she regained consciousness."

"How the hell did Naruto know?" asked Sasuke. "I couldn't even sense it."

"Because Naruto possesses a power we females like to call 'a mother's instinct'," Hinata said with just a hint of insult. "Therefore, he can foresee when Hiro-chan will need help long before you could even _begin_ to think Hiro-chan needs help." With a smile that bordered on patronizing, she patted his arm. "Don't worry. It's a mother's thing; you're not supposed to understand, baka Tou-chan."

Meanwhile, Naruto was attempting to assess the situation while keeping Hiro from stomping his shoulders further. The strange new girl - he'd heard the name Momoka somewhere - was still jumping like a frog, her little hands reaching for Hiro. She had this rabid look in her eyes that the blond recalled seeing long ago, burning in the eyes of Sasuke's former fangirls. _Aw crap, it's started again,_ he thought. _Another damn fangirl. __Must run in the family._

"Papa, what is it!" Hiro whined, now trying to climb on Naruto's head.

"It's a fangirl, Hiro-chan," explained Naruto as he extracted his hair from his son's fists. "Your Tou-chan had a couple dozen in his time. Don't worry, she's not dangerous, just tenacious."

Hiro's lower lip trembled in a scared pout. "I don't like it, Papa. Make it go away!"

"It won't go away, Hiro-chan. It hasn't learned that you're not infallible yet." Naruto put his hands on his hips and addressed the jumping squirrel girl. "Excuse me, but it's common manners to introduce yourself before pouncing on somebody."

So fast it was like she teleported, Momoka was in seiza position and bowing to Naruto. "Please excuse my rudeness," she said demurely, all traces of rabid hero worship gone from her voice. "My name is Momoka. I am one of Chi-denka's attendants. It is a pleasure to meet you, Naruto-sama."

"Sama?" Naruto repeated the honorific, unable to stop himself from smiling smugly. "I like it." Then he remembered the situation. "Um, Momoka, was it? Well, I don't think you understand that Hiro-chan's name is not Chi-denka. It's Hiro-chan. He's my son."

But Momoka was persistantly insistant. "Chi-denka is the sole heir of the Squirrel clan, and I am his trusted vassal! I have searched for him for over six moons and have now only found him. Now that he is found, I must remind Chi-denka of the mission for which he is responsible for!"

Hiro's ears pricked up. "Mission?"

"Mission?" Naruto said a split second later, his face darkening. "Excuse me, little girl?"

Her hands flew up to cover her mouth. "Oh no, I wasn't supposed to say that!" she squeaked. "Um...um...um!"

Surprisingly, it was Kusaka and Valac who came to the rescue. The red-haired boy yanked out the crystal that hung around his neck, which flashed like a camera flashbulb once. The flash was as effective as a flash grenade, blinding the older humans completely. In the confusion, Kusaka grabbed Momoka by the tail and ears and hauled her into the woods. "Meet in the woods," she hissed to Valac as she passed, who nodded.

The Fur Fighters, knowing when to turn tail and flee, likewise followed Valac into the thick press of trees. When the Konoha Twelve regained their sight, not hide or hair of the Fur Fighters remained. At first there were questions - mostly how did the children manage to get their mitts on a flash grenade - but it was chalked up to nothing and left alone.

"Now spill it," Daisuke ordered Momoka, elbowing Kaname to put her down on a rock. "What's this mission you were talking about?"

"Is it anything like the mission Tenshi-chan was talking about?" Hiro asked. "We have to save the world or something."

Momoka twisted her tail in her hands nervously. "I am not sure," she said. "I am not one of the Chosen like Chi-denka, so I don't know anything - "

"Then why did you shoot your mouth off like that?" snapped Hiro. "Papa gets really worried when I'm involved in dangerous stuff, and Tou-chan gets overprotective! I don't want to be smothered again if I can help it!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Momoa cried, bowing seiza again. "I was instructed to only remind Chi-denka of his mission. I didn't realize that he didn't remember!"

Kusaka grimaced at the squirrel girl. "Little fool. Those who are Chosen rarely retain the fact they are when they cross over. It takes time to remember, and he hasn't been over long enough _to_ remember!"

"'Saka, chill. For an ice queen, you sure have a hot head." Valac cut in before Kusaka could bite the girl's head off. "Look squirrel, its obvious you know more than that, so spill." When Momoka didn't respond and sat there fidgeting, he growled at her, "Now. Before I make a barbeque meal out of you!"

Momoka stared up at Valac from her haphazard position on the rock, eyes wide, no doubt in her mind that this scary boy - _Valac_, she assures herself is his name - will make good on his threat. "Well you see," she began, "it's not that I won't tell you...it's that I don't know very much at all."

"Come again?" asked Kaname, looking almost as pissed as Valac was becoming.

Momoka flinched in fear. "It...it has to do with the Nine Tailed Gods."

"What're the Nine Tailed Gods?" asked Hanika, munching on a carrot.

"They are nine creatures of power, who descended to this earth to preserve the balance between Man and Nature," said Momoka solemnly. "They have existed since the beginning, and they hold limitless power the likes of which we cannot begin to fathom."

Tsukasa crossed his arms. "So, what does that have to do with this 'mission' thing?"

Momoka took a deep breath. "In recent years, the Tailed Gods have been - hunted," she said in disbelief, as if the concept was entirely alien to her. "Seven have already been captured and sealed within a monstrous vessel to be used for some nefarious purpose. All I know is that the Chosen were sent to this world to free them and restore the balance before calamity strikes here."

"You said that seven have been captured," said Hari. "What are the other two then? The ones still free?"

But Hiro spoke up before Momoka answered. "D'you mean Kyuubi and Shukaku?" The squirrel girl nodded. "Then Papa and Gaara-nii-chan are in danger?"

"I don't know!" Momoka admitted, wringing her hands again. "All I know is that the captured Gods are in a dark, scary prison and that One-Tailed and Nine-Tailed Gods are to be protected from the scary man!"

Mei actually shuddered on the spot, her ears laid back flat against her skull. "W-W-What scary man?"

Momoka looked around and said, quite solemnly, "His face is covered...by an orange lollipop mask."

Dead silence. Then Kaname sniggered. From there, it was catching. Pretty soon all the Fur Fighters were laughing their little butts off, some even rolling on the ground (like Shippo and Tomoya and Mei) and a couple fighting to breathe (Daisuke and Hikari and Tsukasa).

Only Hiro was silent, because he recognized Momoka's description. The memory of going after Ita-nii-chan rose to the top of his mind, and the faces of the Red Cloud Club cycled through his memory. _The scary man after Papa and Gaara-nii-chan...is Mask-baka? The useless shuts-up-when-kicked-in-the-head ultra-annoying completely useless Mask-baka?_

Valac caught his breath and noted how late it was getting. "Hey, we better get back soon. Isn't today the start of your guys' big exam?"

"Ohmygod, you're right!" Hiro shouted. "Fur Fighters, back to camp!"

**Back at Camp**

Iruka only twitched slightly when the Fur Fighters pulled a reappearing act in the very back of the group of cadets. He threw a scathing look at Naruto that read _Oh, so NOW they show up? _that Naruto only shrugged at.

And unless Iruka was seeing things, there appeared to be another one of the furry little runts tagging along with the group. Naruto had of course told him about Momoka, so it wasn't a problem, but rather a complication. He had chosen the testing groups already, so now he had to readjust. And he'd seen the way the Fur Fighters had gotten along with the other children - when push came to shove, they stuck together.

"Okay then!" he said, clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. "I'm going to call your names and what group you're going to be in for the exam. Pay attention!"

One half-hour and several complaints later, the Fur Fighters found themselves divided into four teams and a pair. Hiro was not happy to have Momoka with him, but he had Shippo as well. Daisuke and Kaname had been placed together along with Hanika, who looked very uncomfortable being with the fox and bat. Tsukasa was grouped with Tomoya and Valac, and Hikaru and Hikari were teamed with Mei. Hari and Kusaka found themselves paired together, which neither really commented on.

"So now that we've all been placed in our teams, let's begin the exam." Iruka pointed in the direction of the stream, hidden from sight by the woods. "Each team will recieve a map, a compass, and a clue to what they must accomplish. Your objective is to locate the hidden treasure in the woods and return it to the base camp across the stream. But be aware that the chaperones will be adversaries, trying to prevent you from reaching your goal. There will also be traps along the way, and maybe half of you won'y make it to the base." This announcement was met with some surprised murmurs. "But don't be afraid. There won't be any usage of serious or dangerous jutsu on you. Strictly E-level jutsu."

"Which can be lethal among experienced ninja, which they are," murmured the realistic Kusaka. A couple kids exchanged scared looks.

Iruka pointed to the table where Miss Yoshino was sitting. "Get your clues from Miss Yoshino. You have four hours to complete this exam. Start - NOW!"

The teams of cadets quickly swarmed the tables and grabbed their clues. As soon as they had what they needed, they raced into the forest. Iruka checked his watch and marked what time it was, then sat and made to wait for a long time.

It was after noon-thirty when the first squawk came over the radio. _"Team thirteen, fifteen, eighteen, twenty, and that pair of girls just made the first checkpoint. None of them have their treasures."_

Kakashi smirked behind his face mask. "I told you. They're fast, but they're not that good." He held out his hand. Iruka slapped a bill into his palm and grumbled as he checked off the teams. "Aw, don't be that way Iru. Tell you what, why don't we make another bet?"

"Don't do it," remarked Yoshino without looking up from her calligraphy. "He's gonna cheat you again."

The silver-haired jonin chuckled. "You wound me, Madam Nara. I was merely going to say that I don't think those kids are going to finish the exam."

"Everyone finishes the exam," said Iruka. "It's almost impossible for them to fail."

One eyebrow rose on Kakashi's face. "Have you even _seen_ their teammwork? It's nonexistant."

"I put them on teams that balanced their individual talents - "

"But not as a whole," finished Kakashi. "They don't get along well with others. They barely get along well with each other, some of them."

It was soon evident that many of the teams were being picked off one by one. Screams, shouts, and crashes echoed through the woods as cadets fell victim to the traps and ambushes set by the Konoha Twelve. Iruka amused himself by talking to Kakashi and betting on which teams would make it to the base camp first. Miss Yoshino practiced some calligraphy and sometimes spoke with them, but mostly she kept to herself.

_"Come back, Base One. This is Neji."_

Kakashi gave the younger sensei a look. "Ten says he's got one of the teams." He touched his mike. "This is Base One. Go ahead, Neji."

_"Kakashi, I've got Team 13 here all trussed up and down for the count." _Some heated swearing was heard in the background, primarily aimed at the Hyuuga. _"And two of them are not happy about it."_

Iruka looked down at his clipboard. In black strokes were the names **Team 13 - Daisuke, Kaname, Hanika. **He rolled his eyes. "You've gotta be kidding me," he said to Kakashi. "It's a one in a thousand chance that they're gonna - "

Another squawk, this time over Iruka's mike. _"Base One, this is Shikamaru. I've got Team 18 here in a pit, the cats and the dog. I'm bringing them in."_

Yoshino rolled her eyes when her own mike went off, Lee announcing that he had Team 15 - Tsukasa, Valac, and Tomoya - and was coming back with them. Kakashi's went off again when Sakura reported in, saying she had the final team, Team 20, consisting of Momoka, Hiro, and Shippo.

By now Iruka was beginning to wish he had some extra-strength headache remedy to take, along with maybe half a bottle of sake.

At the end of the exam, everyone was lined up for a grade. Only one group actually completed the assignment - Hari and Kusaka, who managed to evade capture, find their treasure, and make it to the stream base. Several of the other groups got three-quarter or partial credit for finding their treasures, or evading capture, or showing aptitude and skill.

But the four teams of the Fur Fighters failed. Needless to say, this pissed off certain members of aforementioned teams.

The tents were not a happy place to be that night. Daisuke and Kaname were not even speaking to each other, sitting cross-legged in opposite corners. Shippo was morose, nursing his injured tail and not even touching his dinner. Tomoya huddled on his cot, trying to curl up in himself, his raccoon tail hiding his face. Mei lay under her bed, whimpering as she listlessly gnawed a bone. Hanika nibbled a carrot, her eyes fastened on the ground. Hikari and Hikaru were curled on their blankets, tails over their faces and ears flat, eyes watching everything without blinking.

Hiro kept throwing dirty looks at Momoka, angry that she had messed up so badly. Her incessant chattering and inability to watch where she was going had made her walk right into Sakura-nee-chan's trap, and Shippo had been hurt because of it. Not to mention they had failed the exam. _Papa and Tou-chan must be so ashamed,_ he thought, ears drooping. _Stupid Momoka! Why did she have to be here TODAY of all days!_

Kusaka glanced over the silent group of children, then returned to her shogi game with Valac. "Well, today could have gone better," she remarked offhandedly, not bothering to lower her voice.

"Says she who actually passed," Valac replied, moving a piece. He was still smarting from a newbie move that had cost his team the exam, and wasn't feeling particularly friendly to his long-time friend.

"Passed? No, we completed the exam," she clarified. "We didn't pass. Hari wouldn't cross the stream."

The snake girl stirred on her cot, then settled again. "I had to use a tree to cross, and I do not care much for heights," she said. "I am a snake-girl. The ground is my domain."

"I got to the camp with the treasure, so we completed the objective." Kusaka moved another piece, putting Valac's knight in jeapordy. "But we all failed to pass."

"Should've been a walk in the park," grumbled Kaname, his black wings shuffling before pulling tight against his back again.

Daisuke's tail lashed angrily. "It would've been, if some _idiot _hadn't gotten in my way."

The bickering seemed to break an invisible string of tension among the Fur Fighters. Everyone started arguing, telling each other what they had done wrong and how they'd messed up. The voices overlapped and grew louder, melding into a confused and angry babble of noise that threatened to transmute into physical violence. Only Kusaka and Valac were not involved, continuing their shogi game as if in their own little bubble of silence.

But their arguing drew the attention of some people. Specifically Naruto and Sasuke, who were camped close by. Exchanging a look, the couple headed over to the tent and saw absolute pandemonium inside. Sasuke just looked over the scene and tried to think of a plan. Naruto was more a man of action.

"ALL RIGHT, ALL OF YOU SHUT UP AND GO TO YOUR COTS, NOW!" he yelled over the bickering. The startled children instantly stopped and looked at him, deer in headlights look being the predominant expression. "DID YOU HEAR ME? I SAID TO YOUR COTS, NOW!"

Sasuke watched as the fourteen children immediately obeyed. _And now they will learn just how much of an evil bitch Naruto can be when he's mad, _thought the Uchiha. _I'm actually surprised he's being so calm. I wonder what lecture he has planned for this occasion?_

Naruto crossed his arms as he looked over the children sitting formally on their cots. "I am very disappointed in all of you," he began. "Very disappointed."

_Oh, he started with the Disappointed Prelude and a repeat. A strong start._

"This exam was to test teammwork, and I saw very little out there. You are all friends, so why couldn't you help each other out? Why did you all try to be number one? There is no 'I' in 'team', you know."

_The "no I in team" bit? Kinda lame, but I won't tell him that. The friend nudge was a nice touch, though._

"But Papa, the teams we were put on sucked," said Hiro with a whine. "It wasn't fa - "

"Uzuha Hiro, don't you dare whine to me about fair," Naruto said dangerously, getting that pissed-off glint in his blue eyes that had spelled doom to more than one enemy. "The first rule of being a ninja is that you do not whine about your orders, and you most certainly don't bitch about what team you get put on."

_There's the pot calling the kettle black, _Sasuke thought, recalling their first missions as Team 7.

"Your team is what keeps you alive," Naruto continued. "You depend on one another, learn from each other, and certainly grow thanks to what everyone on it has to teach you. Through the missions and the times you have together, you begin to understand and accept and like the people on your team, even if you hate them at first."

_I take it back. He made the "no I in team" bit work. _Sasuke smiled to himself. _And now, for the clincher._

Naruto looked over the children again, who were now looking very ashamed of themselves. "I want each of you to think long and hard about what you did wrong today and how it affected your overall performance. When you know, come and see me. I'll be up until midnight." A final look, a nod, and Naruto left the tent with Sasuke right behind him.

When they entered the tents shared by the Konoha Twelve, everyone looked up at them. Sakura asked, "So, how did it go?"

"On a scale of lame to impressive, he went beyond mom-worthy," remarked Sasuke, sitting down to read his book. "I was impressed. I had flashbacks when Mom scolded me for breaking a vase when I was six. He was good."

"Of course I was," Naruto said, affronted. "I'm insulted you were grading me."

"Was he like my mom?" asked Shikamaru.

Sasuke shrugged. "I've never seen your mom scold."

"She doesn't. She uses frickin' _mind torture _and _makes _you submit to her will_._"

"Then no, no mind torture was used." Afterthought. "But there was a fair bit of guilt-playing and psychology."

"Naruto can use psychology?" said Ino, astonished. "Wow, now I'm impressed."

The blond fox boy threw up his hands in defeat. "What, does everyone here still think I'm an idiot who can't grasp the basics of motherhood?"

"Yes," came the unanimous reply.

He glowered. "Fine then. You think none of them will do what I told them to?" he asked, now focusing on Sasuke, who felt the weight of the question and what it may - or may not - impact what he got for the rest of the night.

But thankfully he was saved. Kiba looked to the tent entrance as Akamaru gave a small bark. "Someone's here."

A black ear poked in, followed by long black hair. "Um," said Mei shyly, "may I come in?"

**Late that Night**

Hiro stayed up, much later and far past his bedtime then ever before, watching the rest of the Fur Fighters shuffle over to his Papa's tent and tell. He sat on his cot, sullen and defiant and sure of his own actions. As he watched his friends one by one sell themselves out, he stayed still and held fast to his anger.

Momoka had made them fail. He knew that, and he was sure he was right. So Hiro sulked and stayed up all night nursing this grudge.

Sometime during the night, long after everyone else had fallen asleep, Hiro jerked into awareness when he heard a strange noise outside. He cocked his ears towards it, but was unable to identify the origin or what it even was. His curiousness got the better of him, so he snuck out of the tent and went to investigate.

The woods were cold and breezy after being cooped up in the tent for the afternoon. Hiro inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with the crisp clean air. A light wind ruffled his fur and tickled his skin, and Hiro realized that, in his haste to investigate, he'd forgotten his shoes. _I'll be right back anyway,_ he thought, shrugging. _Besides, it's good training to walk barefoot through the woods. _Sniffing the wind, he followed his instincts and ventured into the forest.

* * *

**A.N.**

**My goodness, it's finally finished!**

**Red: It's because you didn't light a fire under your lazy butt and write!**

**DemonClowSorceress: Screw you! I had writer's block! I didn't see _you _helping at all!**

**Red: Not my thing! I'm the Muse-chan. You're the Author-chan. _I _inspire _you_.**

**DemonClowSorceress: Then do your damn job and INSPIRE me, dammit! *coughs* ahem, anyway...hopefully more chapters will be up soon!**


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